The Lost Forum

The End

2010-05-26T14:13:00.002-04:00

After six years of the best television I’ve ever watched LOST is finally over. Like many series finales this one has sparked “vigorous” debate on whether it was good, great, or a total cop out. I, for one, think it was a good ending. A couple more answers would have made it great but for the most part it was a satisfying end to a great show.

On Island – Jack Attack

Jack, now infused with Island Protector magic, begins his plan to kill Evil Locke. He sends Sawyer off to get Desmond “The Weapon” Hume and the rest of his merry band proceeds to the Island’s Golden Cave o’ Magic.

Meanwhile Desmond wakes up in the sprawling palatial estate of Bernard and Rose (and Vincent). They broke their isolationist rules and got him out of the well but now he needs to leave cause it’s 11am and that’s the time Bernard and Rose get it on. But Desmond’s departure is too late! Evil Locke has found him and threatens to painfully kill his rescuers unless he goes with him. Even though Rose says don’t Desmond heads off with him and Ben.

At the same time Sawyer has found the well but found it to be empty. He hustles back to Jack and crew to warn them. It’s cool says Jack then Evil Locke, Desmond, and Ben join them. What hell – lets all go to the magic cave together! Protector Jack is starting to feel a little cocky bringing Evil Locke right where he wants to go.

At the entrance to the magic cave Evil Locke says that only he, Desmond, and Jack should go and that everyone else has to wait. Sure why not listen to the crazy evil smoke guy.

Jack and Evil Locke’s conversation while they lower Desmond down the waterfall is awesome.

“You do realize I’m going to destroy this Island Jack?” says Evil Locke.
“You do realize I’m going to kill the shit out of you Evil Locke?” says Jack.
“Oh really? How?”
“It’s a surprise. Bitch.”

Desmond wades into the crazy electromagnetic pool and pulls out the cork (hey the Island WAS a cork!). The golden water drains away and is replaced by an angry red throbbing. Desmond passes out at the base of the waterfall and the whole Island starts losing its shit.

“Told ya so chump!” Evil Locke mockingly says to Jack. PUNCH says Jack. And Evil Locke bleeds. Then he clocks Jack with a rock and heads off to his boat. Jack lays around for a little bit and then his Island Protector Ninja Skills awaken. What proceeds is, in my mind, one of the most epic events in LOST history – Jack and Evil Locke fight. Jack gets a knife to the gut (guess that wasn’t an appendix scar in the Alternaverse) and a cut to his neck (Alternaverse!) as Evil Locke tries to finish him off. But, after six seasons of being completely useless, Kate blasts Evil Locke with the last shot from her rifle. She could have been a little more clever that “I saved one for you” zinger. How about something like “guess you’ve just been…smoked”? Anyways Evil Locke is down for the count and Protector Jack wastes no time giving him the literal boot. Over the cliff. Seems the body of John Locke is always meant to be flung from high places. One problem solved but there is still the little matter of the self destructing Island. Jack, Ben, and Hurley (didn’t trust the ladders I guess) stay on the Island to save it while Kate and Sawyer head off to Desmond’s old boat to get over to Hydra island and the plane.
Back on Hydra Island Frank (he’s still alive!), Richard, and Miles are working hard on getting said plane flight worthy. I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I’d trust that plane to fly me across the Pacific to safety but I guess when you’re on a dying Island anything will do.

Back at the magic cave Jack’s tenure as Island Protector ends as quickly as it began with a dirty bottle of water shared with Hurley and then he’s headed down the waterfall. Down there he finds Desmond’s passed out body and he hooks him up with the rope so he can be pulled up and then he grabs the big stopper and puts it back in its place. The angry red throbbing leaves and the water once again flows, the Island is saved!

Sawyer and Kate make it to Hydra island and hop in the plane just before takeoff. They second guess themselves when they find out the inflight movie is Gigli.
Jack passes out only to waken on a rock in a stream (that’s where Black Shirt’s body was deposited too!). He stumbles through the bamboo forest to the same place he initially woke up after the crash of 815. As he lays down Vincent the dog (or is he God?) lies down with him. His last sight is the Ajirah plane flying over him to safety and then he closes his eyes. Paralleled how it all began - the perfect end.

Alternaverse – Why Oh Why Didn’t I Take the Blue Pill?

Jin and Sun are waiting in the hospital for….Juliet! She shows them that their baby is ok and FLASH they remember their Island life and I get all weepy. Also they now know English. Juliet leaves the room thinking she’s the best f@#king doctor in the world for not only finding the baby but somehow teaching them English in the process. Then she runs into her ex-husband Jack. Not really a big surprise there we were all suspecting it. He gives her tickets to the big concert for their son and new aunt Claire and then he’s off to fix John Locke’s legs.

Sawyer, having been sent to watch over the Kwons, gets to the hospital only to find that they don’t need him. Confused he goes to get an Apollo bar but it gets stuck. Those things NEVER come down on the first try. Juliet shows up to help him and FLASH they both remember their island selves and we find out why Juliet, when she died in the 1st episode this season, was talking about getting coffee together.
Post surgery Jack visits Locke and finds him surprisingly resilient to painkillers. Not only that but he can already move his toes. FLASH! Locke remembers his Island life and he’s back to the fantastic John Locke we all knew and loved. Jack half flashes but stubborn old Jack Sheppard isn’t going to remember things so easily and he leaves.

Hurley makes a brief side trip to pop Charlie with a tranquilizer and then takes Sayid to a bar just in time to see Boone get his ass kicked and Shannon get slapped. What fun! Sayid springs into action and rescues her. FLASH! He remembers his Island life. So does Shannon. Boone already did apparently based on his comments to Hurley. Who would have thought the love of Sayid’s life was really Shannon? The only women more annoying than Kate.

Meanwhile at Widemore’s Concert for the Cure (or something) Daniel starts playing with Drive Shaft and, to be honest, it’s f@#king terrible. Charlie spots Claire in the audience and is smitten. Claire spots Charlie and…goes into labor. Don’t worry Charlie I have that affect on women too. Claire goes backstage followed by Kate and Charlie (who walks off mid set apparently. Guess the bassist isn’t that important). Claire pops out Aaron and FLASH FLASH FLASH all 3 of them remember their Island lives.

Everyone meets up at the church where Jack’s dad’s body was left at the beginning of the episode. Outside the church Ben asks Locke for forgiveness which he grants and Ben thankfully accepts. He then tells Locke he doesn’t need that wheelchair and wouldn’t you know; only hours after surgery, Locke stands up and gives us one of those big Locke grins. Hurley comes out to ask Ben if he was coming inside but Ben declines saying he as a few more things to work out. Hurley says he was a great #2 and Ben says he was a great #1 (alluding to their reign as Protectors of the Island!) then Hurley goes inside.

Kate tracks down Jack at the post-concert and takes him to the church. Jack goes to his father’s coffin and upon touching gets a FLASH. Is he ready to believe? He opens it and….nothing is inside! Behind him his father speaks. How are you here dad you’re dead? How are you here son? I’m dead. BWOANG! FLASH! Everyone in the alternaverse is dead! Yes the alternaverse is a way station the Losties created so they can all meet up before heading on to the next stage of existence. Cue big reunion party complete with banner in the back that says Oceanic 815 Crash of 2004. Christian opens the doors in the back of the church and a bright light fills the screen. The end.

Theoryland (although are they really theories? Maybe more like Explainationland)

- Why’d Desmond pull the cork if it was going to destroy the Island? Cause the magic gold pool was what made Evil Locke immortal. Without it he was made killable but at the same time the Island couldn’t exist without it so it became unstable. So both Jack and Evil Locke won when Desmond pulled it out.

- So did all the events on the Island happen or did they all die in the crash? ALL THE EVENTS ON THE ISLAND WERE REAL! Christian says so himself but for some reason (perhaps due to the shots of the plane crash they showed during the credits) people keep saying “OMG they died in the crash!”. You want more proof? Hurley and Ben’s conversation about being a great team alludes to all the work they did on the Island after Jack put the cork back in. The alternaverse was where all the Losties went after they died. They didn’t all die at once though – some died before Jack and some long after. Since time doesn’t exist in the alternaverse though it seemed like they all arrived there at the same time. So immediately after Jack died in the bamboo forest he woke up in the alternaverse on Oceanic 815. Kate meanwhile escaped the Island and lived out her life and maybe died of old age. At which point she woke up on Oceanic 815 at the same “time” as Jack.

- What about the people in the alternaverse who didn’t go into the church – Ben, Danielle, Alex, Faraday, Faraday’s mother, Widmore, Charlotte, Miles, Ana Lucia, ect. They weren’t ready to progress yet. Some people believe that that meant they still had issues to work out but I don’t agree. I think they weren’t ready to leave because they had all they wanted in the alternaverse and had no reason to leave. Ben had a relationship with Alex again (and the chance to get with Danielle if I’m reading her after dinner flirting correctly). Faraday had a chance to finally get with Charlotte. Faraday’s mom finally got to have time with her son in a place where she wasn’t doomed to kill him. Miles had a relationship with his dad Dr. Changtastic. Ana Lucia, um, she kinda seemed like she got worse. Crooked cop much? Fisher Stevens…just got his script for Short Circuit 3 green lit!

- What about people who didn’t even show up in the alternaverse? Michael, Walt, and Frank? Michael we know was trapped on the Island fated to be a whisper for quite some time although I like to think Protector Hurley eventually freed him of that. Walt had much more of a life off the Island than on the Island. He didn’t have a need for the alternaverse way station. Frank? Honestly I don’t know why Frank was left out. Maybe cause of all the havoc he caused when he was the Lawnmower Man?

- What about Jack’s kid Daniel? In the words of an awoken John Locke “You don’t have a son!”. Daniel was a figment of the alternaverse who’s only purpose was to give Jack perspective on his relationship with his father. Same for all the other extras in the alternaverse. Figments!

- So the alternaverse was purgatory? I don’t think it was purgatory. Purgatory is where you go when your sins aren’t so bad you go directly to hell but bad enough that you have get wait listed for heaven. The alternaverse was more like the loadup room in the Matrix. Everyone met there before going on to heaven/afterlife/whatever you call it. They had already atoned for whatever misdeeds they did they just had such a bond forged on the Island that they wanted to continue to the next life together. Thus they made the alternaverse.

- So the bomb last season did nothing? No, it was what saved the rest of Dharma from the Incident. Without the bomb going off then the electromagnetic energy would have continued to pull down anything and everything metal. It didn’t create a new timeline it played out exactly how it was supposed to play out. In the aftermath the Losties were brought back to their original time.

- So why was the Island in the bottom of the ocean in the alternaverse? The alternaverse represented a place where the Island couldn’t bring the Losties back thus it was at the bottom of the ocean unable to do anything to them.

And so ends LOST. What did you think about the finale? Reactions? Thoughts? Theories? And what mysteries were you disappointed they didn’t solve? In the following weeks I’ll make up best guess answers for them so you can have a little closure.

Blog Update

2010-05-25T13:31:00.003-04:00

Sorry folks been really busy this week and haven't been able to organize my thoughts on the finale yet. My quick reaction: the Island end was perfect but I was initially undecided on the sideways end. The more I think about it thought the more I like it so that's good.

I think people's opinion of the finale will be determined on whether they wanted character or mythology closure. If you wanted character closure then you loved the finale. If you wanted more answers on the mythology, of which none was covered with the finale, then you're a little mad.

I was initially drawn to LOST because of all the mysteries but I've grown to really enjoy the characters. Because I enjoyed the characters so much the finale sat well with me. My only complaint would have to be that there will never be any more episodes of LOST again. I guess I'll have to comfort myself with self written Ben & Hurley fanfictions.

Full blog will be available sometime this week. Hopefully.

Why They Died

2010-05-20T16:25:00.002-04:00

Can it be? Only 1 episode left of LOST for forever?! I guess I’m a week away from writing LOST fanfiction rather than this blog!

Alternaverse – I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

Jack wakes up and the mystery cut on his neck is larger than it was in the 1st episode of the season. Island Jack doesn’t seem to have the same cut on his neck so what is causing it? Is AlternaJack getting some universe bleed through from future Island Jack? Jack, on island, in the alternate universe, but in the future? Only when dealing with LOST could I write a sentence like that and it not seem too crazy. Maybe Evil Locke will try and slice his neck open in the finale? Anyways, Jack enjoys a gourmet breakfast (Super Oat Bran! Ask for it at your local grocer!) with his son and new half sister then he gets a call – his father’s body has been found!

Only that call was not from Oceanic it was from Man In The Know, Desmond. He’s back at Locke’s school and got his sights set on him and his arrogant wheel chair having ass. But not so fast! Dr. Ben is here to save the day! Only not so much. Desmond beats him so hard he sees Desmond kicking his ass in another universe. Yet Ben is left feeling strangely as peace and he tells Locke that Desmond was there to open his mind up not commit vehicular homicide!

Fresh off his Ben beating Desmond promptly turns himself in to the Detective Sawyer and soon he finds himself with Murderin’ Sayid and Cell Block Kate. Everything’s going according to plan he chuckles to himself.

Meanwhile Locke has given into the machinations of fate and taken Jack up on his offer to fix him. He is finally ready to get out of that wheel chair. Huzzah! Old Locke, Man of Faith, is starting to come back! What will it mean for Evil Locke?

Back at the prison Desmond, Murderin’ Sayid, and Cell Block Kate are going to be moved to county. Calmly Desmond explains to them that they are going to get free and that they are going to have to do something for him. “He’s crazy, just nod” thinks Kate while all Sayid can hear are the voices telling him to kill, kill, kill. Suddenly the van stops and Ana Lucia lets them out. Hurley shows up in his big yellow Hurleymobile and pays her off. Hurley is fully aware of his Island self now, “Oh cool Ana Lucia’s here, is she coming with us?” “No, she’s not ready”. Desmond sends Sayid off with Hurley to a mystery location (to get Sawyer perhaps…) and he and Kate head to the concert where we already know Jack, David, Claire, Charlie, Miles, Dr. Changtastic, Charlotte, Daniel, Penny, Widmore, and Eloise are going to be at. How do I know all this? Because it’s the Drive Shaft concert baby! Desmond pulls on his fingerless gloves, lights up a cigar, and makes like Hannibal from the A-Team – I love it when a plan comes together.

On Island – I Choose You Pikachu

Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley are left filled with sorrow and hate for Evil Locke. They’ve got to kill him they just don’t know how. Desmond is the key Jack says and they’re off! Enroute Lil’ Jacob shows up and demands Hurley give him his ashes and then he bolts. Surprisingly Hurley catches up with him and Lil’ Jacob has grown up to regular Jacob. The rest of the gang shows up and surprisingly they can see Jacob too. Then we GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING ANSWERS!

Jacob brought them all to the Island to fix this mistake he made thousands of years ago by tossing his brother into the magic cave. Not only that but they were picked cause they all had pretty shitty lives. The Island needed them but they needed the Island. I would say he’s pretty spot on with that. While their lives aren’t the greatest; the Island certainly has made them better people. Now one of them has to take over as Protector and it has to be willingly; not like what his mother did to him. Although he is kinda railroading them by saying bad things will happen if nobody does. Jack, completing his transformation from a man of science to a man of faith (or perhaps a hybrid of both), says he’ll do it.

Jacob takes him to a stream, utters some Latin, and has him drink. Bam – he’s been Protector’d! Was it just me or was there was a look in Jack’s eyes of a rush knowledge hitting him? Now he’s off to the magic cave to protect it. A cave which apparently was very close to where he was originally spat out onto the Island. Does that mean he was intended to be the Protector all along?

On Island – My Glock Goes Pop, Pop, Pop

We finally get back to the adventures of Miles, Ben, and Richard. They just reached Dharmaville. Miles walks over Alex’s grave and hears something strange but we aren’t privy to it (could be important?) and then we are in Ben’s secret room o’ suits and C4. Just then they hear a rustling in the kitchen. Apparently Zoe was hungry for a snack. Then Widmore joins them and Ben gets really agitated.

They posture a little and then Zoe reports that Evil Locke is here. Ben gives them a place to hide and he and Richard go out to meet him. Miles runs. Fast. Where to Miles? Richard, still convinced Evil Locke wants him on his team, confidently strides along the grass only to get clobbered by Black Smoke. Ben just calmly sits on his porch sipping a mint julep. Is Richard dead? I hope not cause he deserves a little better death than that. Deaths like that are reserved for nameless Others and mercenaries not Ricardus!

Evil Locke recruits Ben to do his killing and then Ben rats out Widmore. Regardless of how things went down in the secret room I still think Widmore was on Black Shirt’s team all along. Sure he gets blasted by Ben but I think that’s because Ben was acting as a wildcard finally taking his revenge on Widmore. Whatever he whispered to Evil Locke proved that he was in cahoots I just wish I knew what was said.

Anyways so Ben says he’s ready to go kill the next victims and Evil Locke says he’s going to destroy the Island which kinda doesn’t work for that whole promise he made to Ben to give him the Island if he helped him. Also Desmond has mysteriously gotten out of the well. Who got him out? Miles? A waterlogged Frank???
Theoryland

To be honest I don’t have a clue as to how this is all going to end so I only have a couple theories this week.

- Desmond turned the Hatch fail safe key and now he has become the Island fail safe key. Either Evil Locke wants to throw him into the magic cave to destroy the Island or Evil Locke will start the process of destroying the Island and Desmond will have to sacrifice himself again by throwing himself into the magic cave to stop it.

- Alternaverse is all going to come to a head at the Widmore’s party featuring Drive Shaft.

- Super out there theory – Jack is going to get his throat sliced on the Island. Maybe he’ll even die and somebody else will have to become the Protector.

- Even more out there? Series ends with Evil Locke destroying the Island. That’s why it is sunk in the alternaverse.

Across the Sea

2010-05-12T17:00:00.000-04:00

While this episode didn’t really move forward the plot of LOST as it pertains to us it did key us in on several mythologies of the Island. Rather than recap it I’m just going to cover the interesting stuff we learned:

- Jacob and Black Shirt are twin brothers raised by an Other Mother who was the Protector of the Island before Jacob. How long she’s been there is anyone’s guess but it’s been long enough for her to go more than a little crazy. She hates people. Hate, hate, hates them. Her job? To keep people away from the golden cave. Almost as important as that job is her belief that she cannot let her 2 boys interact with people or get off the Island and be subjected to their evils. Up until they saw the people there was a certain Garden of Eden like innocence in Jacob and Black Shirt. “What is lying”, “What does dying mean?”, ect.

- So we now know what the Island is – the spiritual center of the world. Somewhere on that Island is a golden cave that represents life, death, and rebirth. It is that cave that the Island Protector is responsible for protecting and apparently it is hidden such that only the Protector can find it although people can dig through the Island and find it based off the electromagnetic energy it puts off.

- Black Shirt, with his innate super power of knowing how things work, was the mind behind the Frozen Donkey Wheel and it’s attachment to the Island’s core.

- The origin of the Black Smoke! The golden cave killed Black Shirt’s mortal body but freed his immortal soul into the black smoke. The mechanics behind how he forms into other bodies is still a mystery but at least we know why he can do that and Jacob can’t. There is a possibility that Black Shirt actually died and Black Smoke is some ancient evil released when he was tossed in the cave but Evil Locke seems to know what Black Shirt would know so I’m discounting that theory for now.

- Adam and Eve were NOT Emilia Earhart and her co-pilot they were Other Mother and Black Shirt’s discarded body. And the stones were from Lil’ Black Shirt’s game.

- Has Jacob been Protector for so long that he’s gotten a little of the crazy from his Other Mother? The job definitely could get a little tiresome after a couple thousand years doing it.

- Theory expansion! Last week I said Widmore and Black Shirt were in cahoots. Now we know what Widmore gets! The golden cave! He represents the personification of exactly what Other Mother feared from people.

- We still don’t know why Black Shirt can’t get off the Island but Jacob can. Is that a benefit of being the Protector?
Two more episodes left! Sadness!!

The Candidate

2010-05-05T14:40:00.002-04:00

End game is in full effect and now nobody’s safe! Anyone could die at any second? Oh shit! Did Hurley just die while I wrote this? No, no he didn’t. But he could have.

Alternaverse – “I’ll Fix You”, Coldplay Must Be LOST Fans

The action picks up with a post-surgery Locke and a beaming Jack:
“Dude, I totally saved your life” says Jack.
“Thanks, bro” responds Locke.
“That’s not the best part man – I can totally fix your legs. You’re going to walk again mother f#%ker!”.
“No thanks.”
“Wha!??!”

Turns out alterna-Locke got his pilot’s license, convinced his plane hating dad to accompany him on his first flight, and then totally crashed it paralyzing him and turning Anthony Cooper into a vegetable. If only Locke knew about his dad’s con man past maybe he wouldn’t be punishing himself with his paralysis and he’d take Jack up on the offer.

Before Locke actually tells Jack about the accident he turns to Locke’s dentist Bernard to get some answers. Bernard directs him to Cooper and almost seems like he knows what’s going on as he does it. “Of course I remember a guy from 4 years ago Jack”. Strange…you’re up to something Bernard.

Jack also gets a visit from sister Claire and her music box. You know who else had a music box? The Crazy French Danielle who Island Claire has taken the place of on the Island.

Outside of finding out about alterna-Locke the purpose of this flash sideways to get Jack thinking about the fact that everyone he’s meeting these days was on flight 815. Locke, Bernard, Claire, Desmond, the pizza guy from last night, that cat that he almost ran over. All of them were on Oceanic 815! Oh yes Jack it most definitely means something.

On Island – If I Can Blow Up That Sub Then All The Rest of the Dominoes Will Fall Like A House of Cards…Checkmate!

Back in the real world everyone is stuck into the old bear cages at the Hydra Station (man, I need to get a bear cage – those things are SO useful!). They’re hopelessly trapped! Oh wait, here comes Smokie and Jack and now they’re free again. Nice job Widmore! Now off to the plane and sweet freedom.

Not so fast it seems! Widmore wired the plane to explode but thankfully Evil Locke spotted the exposed wires and took out a bunch of C4. Still there could be more so our heroes head to their new ticket off the Island, the sub.

They find the sub surprisingly unguarded and get in with ease. Jack wishes them well but he’s staying here. Evil Locke asks him why he wants to stay and he says because somebody told him to. Who asks Evil Locke. “Your face!” shouts Jack and he pushes him into the water. Then all hell breaks out as Widmore’s men open fire from the shore. Kate is hit! Unfortunately it doesn’t seem fatal. Everyone, minus Claire and a water logged Evil Locke, make it into the sub and hasten away.

Jack goes into his trusty backpack for something to stop Kate’s bleeding and finds…the plane bomb! I totally saw Evil Locke switch his backpack before they went after the sub. Yes, it seems they’ve all fallen for Evil Locke’s clever plan!
Cool your jets Jack says cause he’s got Evil Locke’s whole plan figured out. Evil Locke needs them dead but he can’t kill them himself so he’s arranged this little sub bomb. But the bomb won’t do it alone – he needs them to try and defuse it at which point he isn’t actively killing them they’re killing themselves. Sawyer, not around for Jack’s dynamite stare down, isn’t buying it and pulls the wires. Not surprisingly the bomb goes into super fast mode. Sayid, in a final act of redemption, grabs the bomb and dashes to the far reaches of the sub. Not before telling Jack about Desmond; who’s still alive in the well.

The explosion vaporizes Sayid, seems to kill Frank with a hatch door, and pins Sun behind a bunch of metal crap. Kate is passed out from the gun shot and, of course, the sub is sinking. Hurley and Kate head to the surface (fat floats!) and Jack, Sawyer, and Jin try and free Sun but they can’t. Sawyer gets nailed by some debris and he’s out for the count too. Jack leaves with Sawyer after Jin tells him to go. Jin and Sun, finally reunited only an episode ago, die holding each others hands in a moment that I was glad my girlfriend was in Orlando for cause she might have seen me mist up a bit.

On the beach the survivors are left with the tragedy they just went through and break down. Back at the docks Evil Locke sets out to finish the job with Crazy Claire in tow.

Theoryland

- Bernard seems to know something of the other world. Has he touched his On Island self? Is he some sort of omnipotent demigod watching the whole thing play out? He has a knowledge greater than his character to this point should have. Why!?

- I’m calling it right now – Evil Locke and Widmore are in cahoots! All of Widmore’s actions on the Island have been to set up Evil Locke’s master plan which was to blow them all up in the sub. Evil Locke wouldn’t have had the C4 unless Widmore left it for him. And don’t you think that if the Candidates were really important to him he would have guarded them with more than the slightly chubby guy and a rifle? In fact all of Widmore’s “important” things are only half assed guarded. Desmond? Easily captured by Sayid. Their generators? Easily taken out of Sayid. The plane? Easily taken over by Evil Locke. Yes it’s all been one big con. Evil Locke gets his freedom from the Island and Widmore gets the Island’s all important electromagnetic pockets and all the scientific wealth they represent. The person Jacob needed brought to the Island was not Charles Widmore it was Desmond Hume!

- Does the fact that Alterna-Locke have his pilot’s license mean that somehow his conscious will integrate into either his dead body resurrecting him or displacing Black Smoke from his Evil Locke body and then be the pilot that flies everyone to away in the Ajira plane? All this time I thought Frank was going to do it but it seems his continued presence was a red herring since he is now dead (potentially).

- Will Jack pushing Evil Locke in the water have any effect on him? We know Evil Locke can’t just black smoke it over water which says to me he has some vulnerability to it. Perhaps now that he got wet he can’t turn into Black Smoke anymore?

- What is Team Richard up to? Man I hope they’ve grabbed Locke’s body and are going to resurrect him somehow.

- Now that the Candidates are wise to Evil Locke’s treachery how will he kill the rest of them?

The Last Recruit

2010-04-21T14:47:00.002-04:00

Looks like we got another set up episode this week. Not quite as crazy as the last couple of weeks but still some interesting things happening.

Alternaverse – Fly Together, Die Alone?

Everyone was getting together in the Alternaverse this episode. Locke and Ben head to the hospital only to meet up with Jin and Sun while Desmond delicately pushes Claire into meeting her half brother Jack (as well as previously blown up Illenya) just before Jack is called to the very same hospital Locke, Ben, Sun, and Jin are at. Meanwhile Sawyer and Miles chill with Kate and then go apprehend Sayid. The only one missing from a fully fledged Oceanic get together was Hurley. Most likely because he was too busy getting’ it on with Libby.

On Island – What’s With All The Explosions?

Jack and Evil Locke have a little side conversation (lots of these side chats happening here…) and we find out that Evil Locke was in fact the Christian Sheppard people were seeing around the Island. And just like that another LOST mystery is solved. Why did he lead Jack to the caves and water? Cause he wanted to help. How nice!

Magically it is day again and Not-Tina Fey shows up and tells Locke to give her back Desmond. Then she has her people drop a mortar on his camp. Badass Evil Locke doesn’t even flinch when the shell goes boom. He has till the end of the day which given that we just went from night to day in like a second could mean he could have hours or seconds. Crazy Island.

The impending shelling makes Evil Locke move up his plans and he sends Sawyer and Kate to fetch his sweet sailboat, “Monkey Business”, while he takes the rest of the folks by land. “Large groups move slow” he says but his eyes say “plot device”. Sawyer, putting all his chips on this submarine hijacking scheme (and really who in their life hasn’t done the same?), side chats with Jack and tells him to double back and bring all his Oceanic buddies (minus Crazy Claire and Zombie Sayid) to a special beach where he’ll pick them up in the boat and then they’ll steal the sub and sail away to freedom. Evil Locke then has yet another side chat with Sayid telling him to go kill Desmond. The groups split.

Locke, worried about Sayid, goes back to look for him giving Jack & crew the perfect chance to escape. Unfortunately he abandons Claire. His half sister and girl he just had a 10 minute talk with about how everyone abandoned her on the Island…
Sayid is all totally read to kill a very serene Desmond until Desmond asks him what he’ll tell Nadia he did to bring her back. Apparently killing Dogen and John Lennon and a couple of Widmore dudes is cool but maybe Nadia might draw the line at killing a dude stuck in a well. Does he kill him? Does he not kill him? We don’t know but he tells Locke that he did.

True to his word Sawyer picks everyone up but ut-oh what is this? Abandoned Claire. Perhaps angry about being abandoned? Kate talks her down and their merry band grows by one but not before Claire ominously warns that Evil Locke will not be happy they left. You should have just shot Kate Claire.

As the Monkey Business sails across the water Jack looks pensively out at the ocean. He’s been doing a lot of that this season. Maybe since Evil Locke wants them to leave so bad maybe they should in fact NOT leave he reasons. Sawyer misunderstands him and thinks he said something anti-submarine and kicks him off the boat. A couple mile swim later Jack is back on the Island and at the feet of Locke. Just in time for the shelling of a life time courtesy of one Charles Elizabeth Widmore who, after a touching Jin/Sun reunion, altered the deal. Sawyer, pray that he doesn’t alter it any further or you could end up in carbonite buddy!
We end the episode with Locke telling Jack he’ll be alright, he’s with him now. And thus Jack becomes the titular character of this episode – The Last Recruit. Not to be confused with Bruce Willis, who was of course The Last Boy Scout.

Theoryland

- So my theory about Christian Sheppard being brought to life by the Man in Black and being a zombie henchman like Sayid proved to be false. He apparently was Christian the entire time. At least on the Island. Who was Christian off Island then!? Smokie can’t get off the Island! Evil Locke is lying, he wasn’t him! He resurrected him I tells ya! I refuse to let my theory die! If he was Christian than why is he stuck in Locke’s body and not Christians?

- Maybe Sayid isn’t irredeemable after all. Looks like Desmond got him thinking about something other than murderin’ people. And that saved his life. The question is…did he also get Sayid thinking about pulling poor Aussies out of wells?

- We’re right on track for Jack to fix Locke’s paralysis in the alternaverse. Bank on it.

- Speaking of alternaverse Locke – in the ambulance when he said “Helen, she’s the woman I was going to marry”. Did he say that cause he thought he was going to die before he could marry her or did he say that because he had tapped into his Island self. A self who was going to marry Helen but ended up alienating her with his crazy daddy obsession. I’m thinking he’s tapped in.

- Also what about Sun seeing him in the stretcher next to her say “It’s him!”. She’s also tapped in thanks to the bullet she took.

- I think if you’re a Candidate you have a certain immunity to Evil Locke’s voice. Yes, Sayid and Claire fell for it but none of the rest of the Candidates seem to be irrevocably tied to him. I don’t think we have to worry about Jack now that he’s the only Candidate left on the Island. In fact I believe Jack is going to step into the Jacob role – going full circle from Man of Science to Man of Faith. Additionally him taking the Jacob role will imprison Evil Locke on the Island once again. A certain poetic ending: Jack and Locke forever trapped on the Island battling against each other much like Jack and the real Locke were for most of the series.

- At some point Frank is going to fly that plane off the Island. That’s the only reason he’s been kept around. What we should wonder about is who will be on that plane when it takes off. I just said Jack won’t be there. Who else?

- Who the flip is David’s mother? Most people are probably saying Juliet but you know who I say? Nikki! Wouldn’t that be a kick to the nuts 

- I think the massive Oceanic reunion is going to happen at the hospital but what is going to bring Sawyer, Miles, Kate, and Sayid there? How will Desmond do it? There’s only so many problems you can solve by running your car into them…

Prepare for Mindblowing of the Highest Degree

2010-04-15T12:15:00.001-04:00

I give you ALL OF THE WHISPERS transcribed.

Everyone Loves Hugo

2010-04-14T13:37:00.006-04:00

Things are starting to roll now! I think every episode post-Desmond is going to be just of a wild ride as tonight’s was!

Alternaverse - Chang Has 2 Arms!

So in the alternaverse Hurley came into his money due to, not the lottery, but his eternal love for fried chicken. Without the numbers he isn’t cursed, his grandfather Tito didn’t die and, judging from his absence at Hugo’s award ceremony, his dad is still touring the country with his buddy Chong. But the good news is that Mile’s dad, my favorite Dharma scientist, the best Asian French physicist out there, Dr. Pierre Chang is alive and well heading the museum that Hurley donated a chunk of change to. Best of all – he has both his arms. More on that later.
With all his fame and fortune there is one this Hurley doesn’t have – a woman. That is until Libby shows up. Crazy. She’s tapped into her Island memories and remembers their time together. Before she can explain she’s carted back to her mental institution and Hurley is left with an empty basket of tortilla chips. And questions. Lots of questions. As many questions as he does not have tortilla chips.

Desmond, being a man who also loves fried chicken, tracks down Hurley downing a family sized bucket where he gives him a little push in the right direction – “so what if she’s crazy brutha” Desmond says, “don’t you want to find out where she thinks she knows you from brutha?” Implying “yes she’s crazy but…boobies brutha boobies!”.

Hurley tracks down Libby at the nut house and since she checked herself into the place (you can do that!? Guess what I’m doing next weekend!) she can check herself out for a beach date. They get to the beach and Libby cannot resist the allure of a man who brings not 1, not 2, but 5 different cheeses to the beach and they kiss. Turns out “the power of love” that Huey Lewis sang about is the power to see your crazy Island vision. Desmond smiles to himself from the parking lot, checks off Hurley on his Oceanic list, and guns it out of there. His bumper is due on John Locke’s face in less than 5 minutes!

Ben, ever stick up the ass teacher, asks Desmond why he’s prowling around a high school parking lot. “Just checking it out for my son brutha.” That sounds reasonable thinks Ben and goes back to his Gogurt. Desmond hits the gas and blammo John Locke is road kill. Or is he? More on that later.

On Island – Boom Goes The Dynamite

On Island Richard is spearheading the Blow Up The Plane Initiative and Illyena has collected the dynamite for him. Hurley is having second thoughts at Libby’s grave. Whisper, whisper and look who shows up, Michael! “WAAAAAAAALT” he screams then suggests Hurley not blow up the plane. For some reason, even though he killed Libby and then blew up in the freighter, Hurley trusts him and goes totally anti-plane blowyupy. Illenya starts to tell him why they need to blow it up and then She gets Artz’d. How delightfully shocking!

With chunks of his protector on the ground Hurley changes his tune – lets blow up the plane he says! A little too late for Illenya and all two million pieces of her. They go back to the Blackrock to get more explosives only to see Hurley running in the opposite direction. No more Blackrock and no more plot point dynamite!

Richard begins screaming like a little girl about how stupid that was and how they’ll never blow up the plane now. A line is drawn and two teams are formed: Team Die Plane Die (Richard, Miles, and Ben) and Team Truffle Shuffle (Hurley, Sun, Frank, and Jack). Team Truffle Shuffle shuffles off to find Evil Locke for a chit chat. On the way Jack confesses that he’s finally stopped trying fix things and that’s why he’s following Hurley. Me thinks he’s got at least one more thing left to fix – Evil Locke’s face. Michael shows up again to point Hurley in the direction of Evil Locke’s camp. Also he explains the mystery of the whispers that have taunted us since day 1 – dead folks like him who can’t “move on”. Man, I’d watch every episode from episode 1 thru now just to note all the whispers.
Hurley and crew show up at Evil Locke’s camp and Jack gets a creepy “Hello Jack” from Locke. What does that mean?

On Island – Nice Looking Well Brutha!

Desmond continues to act high as a kite and is unphased by anything that happens around him. Sayid ties him to a tree, cool brutha. Evil Locke cuts him loose and takes him to a creepy well? Love it, brutha. Evil Locke tosses him down said well? Aaaaaaaiiiieeeeee brutha.

Theoryland

- Dr. Changtastic has both his arms. That sort of helps my theory that the alternaverse is what would have happened if Jacob hadn’t touched them. If they hadn’t been chosen by Jacob then they would have never crashed on the Island nor would they have ever time traveled to 1977 to cause the Incident. The Incident which, in case you don’t remember, took Changy’s arm.

- Did Desmond run down Locke as payback for tossing him down the well on the Island? No! He ran him down to give him the near death experience he needed to peek through the veil and see his Island self. Locke is going to live (thanks to Jack), walk again (thanks to Jack), and regain the faith he doesn’t currently have in the alternaverse (thanks to Desmond’s car hood). Will he be the counter balance to Evil Locke somehow?

- Michael cannot “move on” even though he’s dead. Do you remember who said he “could go now” right before he blew up in the freighter? Christian Sheppard, Evil Locke’s right hand man. I think the whispers who can’t move on are all there because of Evil Locke not Jacob. Remove Evil Locke and they’ll be free.

- The well Desmond is currently stuck in seems similar to the well the Frozen Donkey Wheel was located in. It isn’t the same well since it isn’t under the Orchid station but it has some electromagnetic properties which is why people dug down there in the first place. I don’t think Desmond is going to find some Island shifting wheel down there but being close to that electromagnetism is going to do something to him. Perhaps something he already knew was going to happen which is why he was so cool about everything going around him?

- Jack has given up his desire to fix everything. Hurley has learned to speak up and stop being a follower. Will all the Losties have to overcome their greatest flaw? What flaws match to each Lostie?

Happily Ever After

2010-04-07T15:33:00.002-04:00

I remember way back when Desmond first arrived on the scene and I crazily hypothesized that he was a modern day Jesus. While he hasn’t quite achieved messiah status he certainly has turned out to be the most important character in LOST.

Alternaverse – Desmond Hume, Swinging Bachelor

Thanks to a massive EMP aimed directly at him Desmond finds himself staring at an Oceanic arrivals board in the alternaverse. He runs into Hurley and Claire before he’s picked up by everyone’s favorite Short Circuit star, Fisher Stevens. More LOST related Fisher Stevens was also George Minkowski, radio operator for the Freighter who succumbed to time jumping sickness cause he couldn’t find a constant. George is a limo operator now rather than a radio jockey and he can take Desmond anywhere he wants to go. First stop? Widmore Industries!

At Widmore Industries Desmond is treated to a warm welcome by former arch nemesis Charles Widmore. Alterna-Desmond is his right hand man and fixer. A man so trusted that Widmore shares some of his prized McCutchen scotch with him. A drink, you’ll remember, Widmore declined to share while he was busy telling Desmond he wasn’t worthy of his daughter. It seems Desmond has achieved that which he wanted in the original timeline – the approval of one Charles Widmore.

Widmore charges Desmond with a seemingly simple task – pick up the freshly bailed Charlie Pace so he and Drive Shaft can perform with his artistic musician son at some charity benefit. Not so fast Charlie says – I had a near death experience where I saw Claire and loved her and now I want you to have the same thing! Next thing you know they’re both sinking to the bottom of the ocean in Desmond’s car in a scene purposefully similar to when Charlie died on the Island. Desmond gets a flash of “Not Penny’s Boat” and then he’s in the hospital. The MRI machines electromagnetic play further havoc with Desmond’s brain banana and he gets flashes of his other life with Penny. This causes him to try and track down Charlie again. After a brief talk with Jack (what are the chances that 3 of us Oceanic folks would be in the same place at the same time Jack wonders…) and a chase Desmond catches up with Charlie who has some sage words for him, “I wouldn’t be looking for me, I’d be looking for Penny”.

Desmond heads off to confront Mrs. Widmore and her fabled temper and she surprisingly takes the news of no Drive Shaft really well. Up until Desmond hears “Penny Milton” (I wonder if her mother is somebody we know??) and asks her about it. At that point Mrs. Widmore goes into full Mrs. Hawking mode and tells him that he shouldn’t be looking for her. Why is it that Eloise, regardless of timeline, always seems to know more about what’s going on that anyone else? Is it because of Daniel’s notebook?

Speaking of Dan – he shows up and tells Desmond about his brief encounter with Charlotte and how it was love at first sight. Yes, it seems the original timeline is bleeding into the alternaverse for many people. Dan gives Desmond the location of his half sister – one Penelope Milton. Desmond meets up with her at the very same place he originally met up with Jack (Hawaii’s Pro Bowl Stadium). Is Penny there doing the same thing Desmond was – training for a race around the world? They talk and Desmond proves that I was on to something by fainting whenever I talked to a girl in high school – he secures a date!

On Island – Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sayid

Desmond wakes up and finds he’s been kidnapped by his best bud, Charles Widmore. Desmond shares his IV bag with Charles. Several times. Across the face. After that Charles tells Desmond that he hopes that everything he suspects about him is right and that he’s going to ask him to sacrifice something. He then unleases like a billion electromagnetons on him (I think the technical term is gausses?) in a little box that looks suspiciously like Jacob’s Cabin. This zapping causes Desmond to shift conscious to the alternaverse where he spends a good couple hours running after Charlie before he shakes Penny’s hand and is transported back. Only those hours in the alternaverse were only seconds in Island time.

Desmond wakes up with a serenity that comes from knowing what he has to do. He calmly tells Widmore he’s ready to do what needs to be done and Widmore sends him off with a bunch of cronies. In the jungle ninja Sayid shows up and kills everyone except Zoe, who he allows to run off, and Desmond who he tells to come with him. “Sure, brutha”.

Alternaverse – How Easy Is It To Get A Passenger Manifest?

Back in the Alternaverse Desmond tells George to get him his flight’s manifest (more Fisher Stevens? Yes, thank you!). He’s got to find everyone on the Island in the Alternaverse and make them see something just like Charlie made him see. End game has begun. LOST!

Theoryland

-We’ve been focusing so much on the good versus evil battle on the Island that we’ve been missing another of LOST’s central themes: love. So many couples – Penny/Desmond, Sun/Jin, Sawyer/Juliet, Charlie/Claire, Hurley/Libby, Sayid/Nadia, Jack/Kate (Boo Kate!). Will the re-pairing of these couples in the Alternaverse repair what’s going on On Island (re-pair/repair, hilarious Mike!).

-Still on the subject of the Alternaverse – does the alternaverse represent a place where you get your deepest desire? Desmond wanted Widmores’ approval, he got it. Daniel wanted to play the piano, done. Hurley wanted his bad luck reversed – blammo! Sawyer wanted a legal way to take out the real Sawyer – booya! Claire wanted to raise Aaron – schblammy! Kate wanted…well who the f#@k cares what Kate wanted! Is it sort of like the cursed monkey paw where you get your wish but it has horrible consequences? In the end will the Losties be given the choice to go on living their idyllic lives in the alternaverse but allowing Evil Locke to escape the Island in Island Time?

-Desmond’s mission is to bring all the Oceanic passengers together and make them see Island universe. Somehow this will lead to our end game. Will both universes survive? Will one be destroyed? Will they bend together in some sort of crazy bi-universe milkshake?

-Why is Desmond so damn calm and serene now? Is it because he knows exactly what he has to do? He’s almost as zombielike as Sayid is. Why did he go so willingly with him? Cause he knows that what he has to do doesn’t happen On Island but in the alternaverse?

The Package

2010-03-31T12:31:00.002-04:00

I do so enjoy it when one of my theories is proven correct and this week I was vindicated regarding what was in the submarine’s locked door. Hooray for me!

Alternaverse – Feels Like…Pulp Fiction
Jin and Sun are not married in the alternaverse but they are still very into each other. It seems unlike in the original timeline where their relationship was ruined when Jin started working for Sun’s dad instead it seems to have started it. But how did Jin get a job with Paik Industries in the first place then? He got the job initially because he asked to marry Sun. In this universe he is afraid of Paik finding out about the two of them (man does LOST pile on the daddy issues).

Anyways turns out Keamy was hired by Paik to kill Jin for doing the dirty with his daughter. In a giant smack to the face he even made Jin personally pay Keamy to kill him. Nice, I’ll have to remember that move when I have a daughter. Sun tries to access her “secret” Runaway With Jin Fund only to find that her father found it and emptied it. Oh yes, everyone’s favorite indestructible Russian Mikhail shows up too. With both eyes! Lucky him.

So things are looking bad for Jin and then Sayid happens. Blam, blam, blam and Jin is free. Well partially free, Sayid won’t cut his bindings for him he just gives him a razor. Then Mikhail and Sun show up. Gun play. Karate action. And then Mikahil is dead with a bullet through the eye (ouch! The universe really doesn’t want him to have both eyes!) and Sun is shot through her pregnant stomach. Off the rush to the hospital. Who do you think is going to save them? Ethan? Jack? My guess is we’ll see Juliet for the first time in the alternaverse and she saves her. She was a fertility doc after all…

On Island – Widmore’s People Are Surprisingly Accurate
Sayid can’t feel feelings anymore. He’s basically a zombie. A murderous zombie minus the hunger for human brains. Perhaps his body was revived but his soul remained dead? Claire on the other hand is worried about Aaron not knowing her and Evil Locke basically gives her the unspoken clearance to kill Kate as soon as they get off the Island. Sawyer is seeing his plan fall apart before his eyes and Jin is totally “f$&k this, I’m outta here”.

Evil Locke explains to Jin that he needs all 6 Candidates on the plane to leave and he promises that he’ll get Sun back for him. What he really meant was he needs to kill all 6 Candidates and he doesn’t know which Kwon he needs so he’s going to kill both. He leaves to go get Sun and then Widmore’s ninjas attack and abduct Jin.

On Island – Join Me Or You Can’t Speak English!
Back on the beach everyone is eagerly waiting the return of Richard and Hurley. Sun gets fed up of their constant anti-finding Jin policies and storms away to her garden. First she is joined back Jack, who she yells away, and then Evil Locke who promises her Jin. Surprisingly Sun doesn’t fall for his siren song and bolts. Right into a tree. Never look behind you when running through the jungle! She is awoken by a concerned Ben Linus and finds she can no longer speak English. She can understand it just fine though. I haven’t figured out if this means something or if it is just a convenient plot point by the writers. If it does mean something I’m betting her inability to speak English is going to have a dire effect somewhere down the line. In the end Jack gives her a note pad and joins the list of people who’ve promised to find Jin.

Richard shows up and tells them they’ve got a date with the Hydra Island, explosives, and a plane. They’ve got to blow it up so Evil Locke can’t escape. Now one wonders…did his wife really tell Hurley that he had to stop Evil Locke? It seemed odd that all the other things she said we saw her speaking them to Hurley but that last request came directly from Hurley and he didn’t look comfortable saying it. Was it Jacob? Was it Evil Locke?? Could it just be part of his master plan to get everyone on that island so he can kill them all in one quick move?

On Island – Jins On A Plane
So Jin is swept off to Hydra Island by Zoe and crew. He’s stuck in Room 23; the same propaganda room that Karl got stuck in way back in season 3. Just in case you’ve forgotten Jin hits a switch and the pro-Jacob techno beat starts. Fun! Then Zoe shows up and asks him about electromagnetical maps he signed off on back in the 70s when he was with Dharma. Oh yes electromagnetic pockets are still important and somehow the key to whatever Widmore is trying to attempt on the Island. Is it really stopping Evil Locke or is his plan something more self serving? Immortality perhaps?

Also – Widmore throws his cap into the ring and joins Jack and Evil Locke in saying he’ll save Sun. And the what behind the locked sub door? It isn’t a what at all but a who? Gosh who could that be?!?

On Island – Charles and Locke, An Intimate Portrait
Well Evil Locke’s rep doesn’t get any help from Widmore; he basically says he’s a legendary dick. Locke quotes Widmore (to Ben in season 4), “There’s a war coming”. And it’s ON! I think the LOST endgame has finally begun. Hold on to your butts!

On Island – Mike Is Right
So Sayid has been just chillin’ in the ocean until dark. Now that it has fallen he approaches the sub only to see a highly drugged man get dragged out (drugged, dragged, ha!). This man is none other than the guy I predicted when we first saw the locked door – Desmond Hume! Holla! While drugged Desmond still seems to recognize Sayid before he’s dragged away.

Theories!
Honestly do any of you read the recaps or do you just skip to the theories? I might just stop the recaps and only do theories since the recaps take a lot of time…

- Why is Desmond here? Because of his special connection to the Island. There is no doubt that by being at ground zero when the Hatch imploded he was imbued with some sort of special powers. He could see the future. And shifted through time. My guess is he’s going to be able to shift through universes soon. Yes, my next bold Desmond related prediction is that the Desmond we saw on the plane at the beginning of the season was not a alternaverse Desmond but original universe Desmond!

- We knew things were going to be bad if Evil Locke got out but now Widmore said that everyone will die if he gets off. Like life would end or somesuch?

- I think all the alternaverse storylines are going to start merging together real fast now until all characters are linked for the big finale.

- I still don’t buy Widmore’s story. Sure he’s trying to stop Evil Locke but that’s just cause he wants what’s on the Island. The only “good” guys I think are the folks on the beach.

- Alt-Sun had a moment in the hotel where she was looking in the mirror and paused for a second. Did she have a feeling that something wasn’t right like Alt-Jake?

- What if Sun’s inability to speak English On Island is from her Alt personality bleeding over? Alt-Sun didn’t seem to know English…

Ab Aeterno

2010-03-24T15:15:00.002-04:00

Tonight’s episode was hands down the best of the season and perhaps the best of the entire series behind only The Constant. Things we theorized about Richard were confirmed along with some new information given regarding him and the epic and seemingly eternal battle between Jacob and the Man in Black.

1867 – Ricardo Has A Really Bad Week

So his wife Isabella has tuberculosis. He runs off to the doctor to get some help unfortunately the doctor was in the middle of a delicious zebra steak and can’t be bothered to go a half day’s ride out to bumfuck Spain. He does have some medicine he’ll part with for some Spanish Yen though. Unfortunately Ricardo doesn’t have enough. A fight ensues and the doctor takes a table to the head. Dead. Ricardo runs and the world’s most useless butler stands and does nothing. It’s a bad day but at least he got the medicine right?

Nope. He gets back to Isabella and she’s already dead. Plus the gardener or somebody definitely not the butler (cause he’s still standing at the doorway with an armful of blankets being useless) called the Spanish cops and Ricardo is arrested for murder. Or murdero as they call it there. Super bad day.

So once in jail Ricardo passes his time teaching himself English from a Bible. On the day he is to be hung a priest comes to give him his last rights. As that a damned soul will get more on the slavery market the priest denies him forgiveness, condemns him to hell, and promptly sells him to some English guy. Pretty much par for the course with the Catholic church – at least he didn’t get molested (Hi-oh! Scathing religious humor!). Could this week get any worse for old Dickie Pern-bags?

THUD. Yes, yes it could. The Black Rock slams into an Egyptian statue while at sea and is shipwrecked in the middle of the jungle (more on that in the theories section). Ricardo wakes up just in time to watch a stabbing spree by one of the English officers. He is stopped just before gutting Ricardo by the arrival of Black Smoke. A couple roars and a shifting of gears later and Black Smoke has killed everyone and is hovering in front of Ricardo. He does his little flashy thing to extract some memories from Ricardo and vanishes. Next time he appears to Ricardo it is in the form of Isabella telling him he’s in hell and he needs to escape the devil. A monster roar cuts off Isabella and Ricardo makes her leave to save herself and he’s left all alone once again.

Just when all hope is lost the Man in Black visits Ricardo, gives him water, and frees him on one condition – he help him kill Jacob. The instructions he gives Ricardo are the exact same Dogen gave Sayid: kill him as soon as you see him and don’t let him say a word. Even gives him the same knife. Tells him Jacob is the devil and killing him is the only way to escape hell.

Ricardo heads to the Temple and proceeds to get an ass beating of epic proportions at the hands of Jacob, looking quite a bit more wrathful then he has in the past. He finds out the Man in Black sent Ricardo to kill him and explains that the Island is not hell but basically a stopper on a jar full of evil. Implying the evil is Black Shirt. Him and Black Shirt are arguing over man – whether they are inherently evil or can make good choices without prompting. At this point Ricardo mentions that since Jacob never steps in before Black Shirt Black Shirt is always getting first dibs on the new castaways. This statement hits Jacob like he’s never heard or thought about it before (odd). He then offers to make Ricardo his voice on the Island to intermediate between people he brings and himself. In exchange he makes it so Ricardo can never die. Think of the 401k potential!

On Island – All Work And No Play Make Richard Go Crazy

The episode starts with our little band of pro-Jacob survivors. After the feel good slow mo hug-a-thon everyone calmed down and tried to figure out what the hell they should be doing. Ileyna (I think I spell her name different every recap…) says her only job was to protect the remaining Candidates. The one who knows what to do next is none other than Richard Alpert. Ricardus. And as we are soon to find out Ricardo. The problem is…Richard’s gone crazy. He tells them they’re all dead and that the Island was hell and then bolts into the jungle. All at once millions of LOST fans yell at their TV “but the writers said they all were definitely NOT dead and the Island was NOT Purgatory!”

Jack and Ileyna chat and then we notice Hurley is talking to a ghost in Spanish. That’ll be important later…right?

We catch up with Richard back at the same place where he buried Isabella’s necklace. He digs it up and yells to the Man in Black that he’s reconsidered and wants to join him. Instead of Evil Locke showing up he gets Hurley. But Hurley has brought an undead friend – Isabella. She’s the Spanish speaker he was talking to (totally called it like 40 minutes before it happened. Ask Meghan). Isabella tells him it was her time to go and they reconcile. Richard isn’t quite as crazy anymore and puts on her necklace. Hurley then tells him one other thing – Isabella wants him to stop Black Shirt from getting off the Island. Bwong – LOST!

Theories!

-What’s up with the arrival of the Black Rock? First off, in last season’s finale, we were led to believe it was just off the shore of the Island during the day when Jacob and Man in Black talked. Guess that was yet another boat that Jacob brought to the Island. Secondly – they sail into the statue. Yes that explains why the statue is now just a foot but really the big question is why was the water so high that they could a) sail into a statue on land and b) get deposited miles inland? Were they riding on a freak tsunami or does the Island have the ability to raise and lower in depth. That certainly would explain why it was completely submerged at the beginning of this season.

-Did anyone see the little blue butterfly that flew across the screen when Ricardo was waking up in the wrecked hull of the Black Rock? I don’t think they put that in there just to look pretty – it means something. I think that where the Man in Black can take the form of the Black Smoke Jacob can take the form of…animals! Think about what that could mean! The horse Kate saw? Jacob. The bird that seemed to say “Hurley”? Jacob. The boar that Sawyer thought was trying to kill him? Jacob. And the biggest one of all – Vincent the dog. JACOB! BWONG! LOST!

-If the Island is the stopper that keeps the evil in the bottle does the fact that the Man in Black smashed the bottle after Jacob gave it to him mean that he means to escape the Island by a means not involving the Island at all? Smashing a bottle lets the wine out without any regard for the stopper…

-Heavy biblical themes this week. Is there any other analogy you can make between Jacob and the Man in Black than God v. Satan? Satan is trying to prove that man is inherently evil and constantly tempts him. God is trying to prove that man is inherently good but refuses to get involved.

-Side note to Jacob being God – if he was God then why couldn’t he grant Richard his first 2 requests: Isabella back or forgiveness? Must not be God…right?

-The white rock Ricardo gave the Man in Black as a gift from Jacob was, of course, the same rock he chucked into the ocean when he and Sawyer were in the cave as an “inside joke”.

-Doctor who refused to help Richard? Wore black. Priest who wouldn’t forgive him? Wore black. Man in Black. Wore black, duh.

-Magnus Hanso, Black Rock owner = distant relative of Alvar Hanso, founder of the Hanso Foundation and the Dharma Initiative.

Recon

2010-03-17T14:10:00.002-04:00

I’m not going to lie to you; this episode left me feeling a little unsatisfied. I think I keep waiting for a big crazy reveal and all we are getting are little bite sized reveals. This is the last season! I need a feast of revelations not a snack. Luckily it looks like next week’s episode is going to be a Thanksgiving dinner worth of revealing with a long awaited for Richard Alpert episode!

Alternaverse – Ford & Straume Police Cops!

The alternaverse starts out just like Sawyer’s first flashback episode from way back in season 1 – he’s just banged a chick, is late for a meeting, and accidently spills a case full of cash. Same old Sawyer – but wait! What’s this? She pulls a gun on him? He says he’s a cop? Who are we to believe? One “LaFlauer” later and Ford & Straume have another bust.

It turns out that in this life when Sawyer hit the cross road of cop or criminal he took the cop route. One thing hasn’t changed though: his lust for revenge against Anthony Cooper, the man who ruined his life. But he keeps this secret hidden deep down away from everybody. Instead of a note to Mr. Sawyer he’s got a dossier. Is this Anthony Cooper the same one that Locke and Helen want to invite to their wedding? If he’s such a baddie then why would they want him there?

Like a good partner Miles sets up Sawyer with a new lady to bone. I guess sex on the job doesn’t count, how nice of Miles. Did you hear where the girl was from though? She works with Miles’ dad at the museum. MILES’ DAD! PIERRE CHANG LIVES! Another father/son duo that got off the Island before it sunk. Anyways, who does this mystery lady turn out to be? Charlotte Staples Lewis! From the freighter. Man Daniel sure isn’t going to be happy about what she does with Sawyer. After they do the dirty Charlotte digs a little bit overzealously into Sawyer’s underware drawer and finds the Sawyer files. She definitely looked like she was searching for something and it wasn’t the tshirt she asked for. What was her motive for that? Sawyer finds her and kicks her out. After being touched by an episode of Little House on the Prairie he tries to rekindle that relationship and Charlotte slams the door in his face. Side note – Charlotte was born on the Island so she’s another person who escaped before it sunk.

Miles, showing an almost creepy interest in his partner’s life, uncovers that Sawyer went to Austrailia not Palm Springs. This sends him into a jealous rage and he breaks up the band! No! I totally would have watched Ford & Straume Police Cops when it went into syndication! Sawyer eventually tells Miles what the deal is but their touching moment is ruined by worthless Kate wrecking her car into them. Was she escaping the hospital that Claire gave birth in?

Really all this flashsideways did was show us again how people would have been different if Jacob hadn’t called them to the Island. Sawyer’s seems to be fairly good. So far only Sayid and possibly Kate’s flashsideways seem to have been bad.

The Island – Crazy Is As Crazy Does

So you remember that whole thing about Claire saying she was going to kill Kate for raising Aaron? She meant it. Cat fight city. Dead Inside Sayid doesn’t do anything to stop it instead Evil Locke tosses Claire aside and reprimands her like a little kid then apologizes to Kate. After that he goes off into a weird tangent about how he once had a mother who was crazy and kids with crazy moms don’t grow up well adjusted. So is Evil Locke’s mom some sort of Egyptian deity? Anyways the point is Claire isn’t fit to raise Aaron so Kate should. Of course the whole reason she’s crazy is cause of Evil Locke in the first place…

The Island – The Re Con

So you thought the episode title Recon was just about Sawyer’s recon mission to the Hydra island? No sir! Straight off Damon Lindleoff’s Twitter feed: “Recon. Verd. To con again”. Yup it’s all about Sawyer’s conning. This time he’s conning both Widmore and Evil Locke although I don’t think piloting a submarine is that much easier than piloting a plane. That might be a flaw in his plan.

Two questions from Widmore’s submarine: what is behind the locked door and who’s side is Widmore on? Something super important is behind that door for sure. Like the hydrogen bomb that was introduced last year. Maybe it’s a Desmond Bomb! Boom brutha! Is Widmore really on Jacob’s side or is he a 3rd party just trying to take the Island for himself? Or is he on Evil Locke’s side and Sawyer just had his con pimped by Xzibit? Yo dawg I heard you liked cons so we conned your con so you can con while you con!

One thing is for sure – I can’t wait for next week’s Richard episode. I might have to take Wednesday off from work cause I’ll still be sitting on my couch with my mind blown by the time 9am rolls around.

Dr. Linus

2010-03-10T09:30:00.004-05:00

I’m not an actor. I don’t know anything about the craft. Really I have no authorization to say this but – Michael Emerson is the greatest actor ever to act. He’s taken an evil manipulator and turned him into somebody we root for with Ben Linus. I don’t know about the rest of you but I sure was glad that he stayed with the good guys rather than joining Evil Locke. On to the episode review!

Alternaverse – It’s True This Principal Has No Dick

Yes that was none other than anal retentive EPA agent Walter Peck playing the principal at Ben’s school. I’m surprised he made the jump to teaching after Dr. Peter Venkman insulted him in front of the mayor of New York.

The main point of this flashsideways was to show that in the alternaverse Ben sacrifices his ambition for the good of Alex. Unlike on the Island where he sacrificed Alex for his power. Another flashsideways where the subject is righting the flaws they had while on the Island. All of them, except Sayid, have been like this. As I’ve theorized previously these flashes seem to be shaping up to be more like a coda for the series. Like these are what happens to everyone after whatever happens when everything on the Island finishes.

Another interesting point of Ben’s flash is that he’s living with his dad, seems to have a good relationship with him, and they both were previously with the Dharma Initiative on the Island but they left. I think the fact that Sayid shot Lil’Ben really brought the two together and mended the fences of hatred between the two of them. Ben’s dad realized how bad it was to almost loose his son and he stopped drinkin’ and blaming him for the death of his mother and instead started loving him. In a way Sayid was like Dr. Phil bringing people together.

Other notes – looks like Danielle is off Island too. Working 2 jobs to support Alex. Guess being a crazy French woman doesn’t pay like it used to. Artz is really getting some screen time this season! Plus he’s a hacker now? Way to be Leslie.

The Island – I Really Dig Ben

First we learn more of Miles’ power. We already knew that he needed to be near the body and now we find he can’t talk to dead people he can only hear their final thoughts. Good for him when it comes to finding diamonds (that was the first time mention of Nikki and Paulo didn’t send me into a murderous rage!) but bad for Ben and keeping the fact that he killed Jacob a secret.

Ilana, Frank, Sun, Miles, and Ben all return to the beach where it all started and Ilana immediately sets Ben to work digging his own grave. After he’s got a nice hole dug Evil Locke shows up and offers him an out – he’ll free him if he joins up with him at the Hydra. Ben bolts and Ilana follows. We are then treated to a dramatic acting clinic by one Michael Emerson as he explains why he killed Jacob and why he’s sorry about it. He put power before his daughter and he’s been asking himself why Jacob required that sacrifice ever since. After his touching speech Ilana invites him to join them and he does rather than side with Evil Locke for the promised position of Island Protector. Now there could be an ever so slight chance that Ben is still Ben and he’s merely staying with them to gather information which he can then give to Evil Locke but I think Ben has really turned over a new leaf and redeemed himself. He’s going to play a big part in end game battle between Jacob and Evil Locke me thinks.

The Island – Should I Try Another Stick?

Hurley and Jack are headed back to the Temple. Or at least are trying to. First you have Hurley’s stalling and then Richard comes out of nowhere and takes them to the Blackrock instead. Now it’s pretty obvious that Richard came to the Island on the Blackrock but we still don’t know if he was part of the crew or one of the slaves. What we do learn is how he’s not aged the entire time – Jacob’s gift. A gift which while keeping him eternally young also prevents him from killing himself. Does anyone else remember another guy who couldn’t kill himself no matter how hard he tried? Yup, Michael Dawson. He tried to kill himself in a car and then tried to shoot himself but Jacob wouldn’t let him die. Well not until the freighter blew up.

After seeing the carnage at the Temple Richard has given up on Jacob as well and wants Jack to kill him. Jack is either bat shit insane now or he’s finally started to have a little faith in Jacob cause he sits right down with Richard and lets the dynamite fuse burn all the way down. Just as Jacob wanted though he has realized that he’s important. He doesn’t know why yet but he believes enough that he won’t let a silly thing like lit dynamite stop him from having a nice conversation with a man wearing guyliner. The dynamite doesn’t blow and it looks like Richard might have gotten his faith back as well. They all head back to the beach and we have a touching slow mo reunion scene with high fives and butt slaps all around. Except for Ben. They’ll accept you in time Ben. Maybe if you shared your Bagel Bites with them?

And what’s this at the end? A submarine? And who’s in it? Why Charles Widmore of course! Is he the one Jacob wanted back on the Island or is he there on his own accord? I’m still holding out that it is Desmond Jacob wants back not Widmore.

Sundown

2010-03-03T11:34:00.002-05:00

Did you just feel that? That was LOST rearing back and cold cocking you right in your stupid face with a fistful of awesome!

Alternaverse – Martin Keamy, Egg Gourmand

So things pick up in the Alternaverse with Sayid arriving at Nadia’s doorstep and they lovingly embrace. Fantastic, we think, Sayid finally got the woman he’s longed for ever since season 1. Not so fast LOST says; she’s married to his brother. Thanks to the terrible things he did as an Iraqi torturer Sayid did feel worthy enough of Nadia and so he pushed her into the arms of his worthless brother. Still there is the underlying love there which really makes for an uncomfortable family dining experience. Mommy why does Uncle Sayid have this naked picture of you?

As he’s done all series long Sayid is still trying to prove that he isn’t the man he once was. And once again a situation presents itself to show that he really hasn’t changed at all. His brother is paying “interest” to a loan shark and needs Sayid to take care of him. Sayid says no and Omar gets stabbed in the chest and sent to the hospital (Hi Jack!). Now Sayid is ready for vengeance but Nadia stays his hand and gets him to watch over the children. Tragedy averted right? Wrong – the loan shark sends his boys to pick up Sayid. At this point it’s like kicking a sleeping grizzly bear until it wakes up and mauls you. Thinks aren’t going to turn out well for these guys.

Turns out the loan shark is our good friend Martin Keamy - mercenary, Alex killer, and cooker of a mean omelet. He isn’t half way through with his eggs before Sayid has killed both his goons and put a bullet in his chest. Try as you might Sayid you cannot fight the darkness inside you. Gosh I wonder if this will parallel with what happens on the Island…

Before Sayid flees the scene of the crime he finds Jin locked up in a meat freezer. Looks like his watch delivery didn’t go well. Surely Martin Keamy wasn’t the guy Sun’s dad was trying to bribe? He seems too low on the totem pole to get Mr. Piak’s attention. Who’s above him? Widmore perhaps?

The Island – Sayid Can’t Fight That Feelin’

Back on the Island Sayid is a little perturbed by Jack’s revelation that the Others want him dead so he goes and finds Dogen to get some answers. Things don’t stay civil long and soon the boys are engaged in some mighty fisticuffs. Eventually Dogen’s bearded kung fu gets the best of Sayid’s greasy hair karate and he has him in a position to kill him. Just then Dogen’s beloved baseball falls to the ground and brings him a level head. He exiles Sayid rather than killing him.

Outside the Temple Evil Locke and Claire have reached the edge of the Temple grounds. Evil Locke still seems to be unable to cross the ash line and Claire doesn’t seem to be able to clear it away and let him pass. Interesting. Evil Locke needs someone to give the Others a message and he picks Claire. Why not Sawyer she asks? Where the hell is Sawyer I ask? We haven’t seen him since the freaky name cave! And now that I think about it – where’s Jin? Last episode he was going to take Claire to the Temple to “get her baby” now he’s gone too!

Claire enters the Temple and gives them Evil Locke’s message which basically is just “he has a message but he wants to deliver it to Dogen outside the Temple”. A message of a message really. Dogen, being a wise samurai, sends Sayid instead. Not before giving him a knife and telling him to kill that Evil Locke mother f#@ker dead as soon as he sees him. No chatting about the weather. No asking about his kids. Dead before he even speaks. Sayid heads out leaving Miles and a recently returned Kate standing around doing nothing. “Where’s Sheppard and Reyes” Lennon Glasses asks but nobody answers cause nobody really gives a damn about him unless he’s translating Japanese.

Sayid meets up with Evil Locke. “What’s up Sayid” says Evil Locke. “This knife in your heart is what is in fact up good sir” says Sayid and he stabs him. “Dude. That was totally harsh, you put a hole my favorite Hanes brand t-shirt! How am I going to mack on honeys now?” replies Evil Locke. Evil Locke then promises Sayid anything he wants if he delivers his message back to the Temple (Man, there are a lot of messages going in and out of there!). Sayid wants Nadia but she’s dead. “It aint no thang but a chicken wang” Evil Locke says to that. I have no idea why today I’ve decided to make Evil Locke talk in jive, just go with it.

At this point I’m getting a super “I am the devil” vibe from Black Shirt. The way he’s manipulating people is classic Lucifer. He’s promising people anything they want free and easy just follow him whereas Jacob works in mysterious ways yet provides people what they want but not without sacrifice, very God-like there. Some might still be believing the whole Black Shirt “I’m really the good guy here” (perhaps thinking it’s one of LOST’s famous twists) but I’m going to have to be on Team Jacob with this one.

So Sayid returns with the message telling everyone that they have till sundown to get the fug out or Black Shirt will kill them. People start to bail once they find out they don’t have to stay including former Oceanic stewardess Cindy. Sayid once again tracks down Dogen and confronts him about the whole sending him to Evil Locke to die thing. Dogen shares a touching tale about him killing his son drunk driving, explaining his attachment to the baseball, and how Jacob gave his son back his life but forbade him from ever seeing him again (once again the give you what you want but requiring a sacrifice). It looks for a moment that Dogen’s sad tale has touched Sayid’s heart but no, it’s now infected fully by Black Shirt, and he drowns him. Lennon Glasses shows up just long enough to say Dogen was the only thing keeping Evil Locke out and then gets his throat sliced. That’s pretty much when all hell breaks loose.

Black Smoke rushes in and starts killing anybody it finds. Ileyna, Frank, Ben, and Sun show up to rescued Miles and Kate. Kate leaves them to save Claire who, in case you were wondering, is still batshit insane and singing Catch a Falling Star. Illeyna and crew escape via Hurley’s secret door and Kate is left to look over the wreckage Black Smoke has wrought. It’s probably about this time that she feels like perhaps she made the wrong choice. Evil Locke gives a creepy smile and starts to lead his followers (where’d they all come from? Were they Others who left the Temple and became his? Were they hiding in the jungle waiting for his attack?) away. Thus concluding one crazy ass episode!

Some points to add:
- Dogen is somehow attached to the potency of the ash that protects things from Black Shirt. Once he was dead that ash didn’t mean anything and Black Smoke flew into the Temple.

- Will Dogen and Lennon Glasses come back to life since their dead bodies are floating in the spring that was supposed to heal Sayid or is that thing’s magic gone and Sayid only came alive again due to Black Shirt?

- All of the flashsideways up until now have shown how the character they’ve been focused on has changed for the better with no crash. Not this one. Sayid is still the same killer that he was in all timelines. He’s also the first flashsideways we’ve seen for somebody on Black Shirt’s side. Does that mean something? People on Jacob’s side improve in the alternaverse whereas Black Shirt followers remain the same? Something interesting to note? When Jacob visited Sayid last season it was just as Nadia was killed by a car. Everyone else met Jacob in much happier circumstances. Does that mean something?

- Where were Sawyer and Jin?? If they’re seemingly with Evil Locke then why didn’t they show up during the big attack?

- Next week it looks like Ben’s traumatic but brief talk with Sayid pushed him over the edge regarding his guilt on killing Jacob. He’s going to dig up Locke’s body and, hopefully, resurrect him somehow. I’d love to see Evil Locke vs. Good Locke and feel that Locke’s story arch isn’t over quite yet. I want him to find out why he was special!

The Lighthouse

2010-02-24T14:50:00.003-05:00

If I had to describe this episode in one word it would be…slow. The good thing is that in slow episodes they’re usually moving pieces into position to blow our minds the following week so prepare for a mind blowing of epic proportions in March!

Alternaverse – Pappa Jack
Given the revelation that Jack has a son in the flashside ways I’ve decided to stop calling it Non-Crash Time. The fact that they didn’t crash is almost insignificant in this alternaverse. This alternaverse is showing what would have happened if Jacob hadn’t drawn them to the Island. I think.

Anyways – so the two main points in this flashback:

1. Jack has a son and is divorced. Who’s the kid’s mother? If you try not to over think it the obvious choices is his ex-wife Sarah whose spine he fixed back in season 1 Maybe an Other? Perhaps Juliet? I just hope it isn’t somebody we haven’t met before.

2. Jack has an appendicitis scar and he can’t remember where he got it. His mom says it was from 7th grade but he doesn’t seem to recall that. Perhaps because the scar is from when Juliet took out his appendix on the Island? Jack, of all the people we’ve seen in the Alternaverse, is the only one who seems to be noticing that things “aren’t right”. First it was the scratch on his neck in the airplane and now it’s a scar he can’t remember getting. As we found out at the end of this episode Jack is important to Jacob’s plans. Perhaps that’s why he’s got this feeling that something isn’t right?

3. Bonus point – Dogen shows up at Daniel’s recital. Yet another Other who shows up in the Alternaverse playing a seemingly mundane role in the non-Island world.

One thing I’m noticing with the Alternaverse is that all our Losties seem to be acknowledging faults that they’ve fought against so much on the Island. Locke realizes his limitations as a paraplegic and gives up his “don’t tell me what I can do” attitude. Jack now no longer seeks the approval of his father and understands that you can’t make your kid afraid of failure. Kate…well she doesn’t seem to have learned anything yet. Maybe she’ll learn how to dance or play the accordion…

The Island – Claire is Tom Cruise Crazy
Claire certainly is channeling Danielle Rousseau’s crazy at full tilt. The similarities make me wonder if Danielle was infected/recruited by Black Shirt. Similar “Others have my baby” mentality too. Although we know the Others did in fact have Danielle’s baby… And the scar on her shoulder? Looks like she got tested for infection at the Temple just like Sayid.

Justin survives one more episode than Mac and then takes an axe to the chest. Jin, fearing batshit crazy Claire, says the Others do in fact have her baby and he can take her to them. Instead of asking about her baby Claire should have asked Jin how he learned English! Last time they saw each other he was only rocking the Korean. Oh yeah, she says she’d also kill Kate if she did in fact raise Aaron. Obviously she’s not remembering the whole leaving Aaron in a tree while she went off god knows where with Christian.

So what’s Claire been up to these last 3 years besides being crazy? Having Island Arts & Crafts Day ever Wednesday making crazy ass babies out of animal bones, hanging out with her dad, Christian Sheppard, and her BFF Evil Locke. Does the fact that she spent time with both of them give credence to my theory that Christian was in fact resurrected by Black Shirt like Sayid? Yes I say because I love being right! One thing about the arrival of Evil Locke at the end – wasn’t he with Sawyer in a cave last episode? Did he black smoke it over real fast or is Sawyer with him?

The Island – Jack Hates Mirrors
Oh poor Hurley. Always getting mixed up in things you don’t understand. Once again Jacob’s ghost shows up and gives him a task. This time it’s take Jack to the Lighthouse, set it to 108 degrees (sum of the numbers), and let it burn. Burn mother f#5ker, burn. Hurley, knowing how much Jack hates doing things he doesn’t understand, tries to go alone but Dogen stops him. Here Jacob tells Hurley to say he’s a Candidate and Dogen lets him go. If my Japanese is correct he says “You’re lucky I have to protect you otherwise I’d cut off your head”. And by Japanese I mean the internet. We knew Locke was special to the Others when he was alive but now it looks like anyone remaining on Jacob’s list of Candidates gets special privileges with the Others. Of course leaving the Temple sans Jack is a big Jacob no-no so Hurley has to lie and get him to come by evoking memories of his dead father and promising he’ll see Jacob.

Outside of the Temple they run into worthless Kate worthlessly filling up her worthless water bottle before she goes on a worthless hunt for Claire. After that they hit up the old Caves and reminisce about the good times back when they only had boar and fruit to eat and Shannon was always complaining about her asthma. They talk about the skeletons and Hurley postulates that maybe they could be one of them who got sent back to dinosaur times. Rose and Bernard maybe? We also find out that Jack came to the Island hoping to “be fixed”. He finally started believing John Locke’s faith in the Island only to go through all the time travel business and now he’s a pissed off man of science again. Finally they reach their destination: the Lighthouse! A structure whose very existence was covered up with a little dues ex machina from Hurley, “guess we never looked for it”.

In the Lighthouse things start to get interesting. We’ve got this big dial thing with 360 names on it, one for each degree. Hurley has to get it to 108 to bring whoever Jacob wants to come to the Island but every degree apparently lets Jacob view that person’s life. First we see the fancy Shinto temple where Jin and Sun got married, then we see the church where Sawyer’s parent’s funeral was held, and then Jack catches a glimpse of his old house. Moving the dial back to 23 gets the house clearly in view at which point Jack does the wise thing – he freaks the f#%k out, demands to see Jacob, and then beats the ever loving sh!t out of the mirrors. Oh Jack. Why couldn’t you have controlled your temper?

Much like the cave wall I had to go to the internet for some screen captures of the wheel and all the names on it. There was some duplication with the cave but there were others there too, including one Kate Austen at 51. Here are the notables:

Danielle Rousseau crossed out at number 20.
Kate Austen at number 51. Austen is not crossed out!
Juliet Burke crossed out at number 58.
Daniel Faraday crossed out at number 101.
Charlotte (? Or her mom?) Lewis crossed out at number 104, which is different from The Substitute where she has number 140.
Shannon Rutherford crossed out at number 32, which is different from The Substitute where she has number 31.
Wallace crossed out at number 108 – The person Jacob wanted Hurley to set the dial to.
Tom Friendly crossed out at number 109.
Ben Linus crossed out at number 117.
Michael Dawson crossed out at number 124.
Claire Littleton crossed out at number 313.
Stuart Radzinsky crossed out at 106.

So Kate is still considered for Candidacy? And an interesting find with Charlotte and Shannon being different numbers from the Cave. Production error or perhaps somebody was copying the numbers in the Cave from what they saw at the Lighthouse? As if Black Shirt was keeping track in the Cave of what Jacob was doing in the Lighthouse…

After Jack goes ballistic Jacob shows back up and reveals that it was all just a ploy to get Jack on the path he needs to go. Somehow by showing him that Jacob has been watching him for a long time he’ll eventually make the right decision (perhaps the decision that makes all this alternaverse stuff happen??). Also there is bad bad thing on the way to the Temple and he needed to get Jack and Hurley away from there. The bad thing would be Claire and Evil Locke I surmise.

Does Jacob intend to actually bring somebody to the Island to help or was it part of his plan to get Jack to freak out? 108’s name is Wallace. Think of the only famous Wallace you know. You were thinking of William Wallace weren’t you? Thanks Braveheart. Anyway you know what nationality William Wallace was? He was a Scot. You know who else is a Scot? Desmond. He’s coming back. In a big way. Brutha.

The Substitute

2010-02-17T11:50:00.004-05:00

Has there ever been a Locke centric episode that disappointed? I think not! We got a lot deeper into the mythology of the Island in this one and we might just be getting a clearer picture of the whole Jacob/Black Shirt thing. Plus I had like a thousand screen captures of those cave walls to look through meticulously for familiar names. Some of which might surprise you!

Non Crash Time – Locke Is Still A Sad Sack But At Least His Has Peggy Bundy
Yup things are looking pretty sad for John Locke at this beginning of this one. His wheelchair lift is broken, he’s laying on his yard, and the sprinklers turn on. Poor poor John Locke. But what is this? Helen comes out of the house and helps him?! They’re back together? Did they ever separate? Why does she offer a shotgun wedding with her parents and his dad? I’m beginning to think things are not as they seem in this alternaverse.

I would seriously doubt Locke would want to invite his dad to his wedding. I doubt even more that Helen would want him to since he was the reason she dumped Locke in the first place. So I’m assuming the whole kidney stealing pushing his son out of a window breaking his spine and leaving him unable to walk thing didn’t happen in this timeline. If it did people in this timeline are ridiculously forgiving!

In addition to the “my life is slightly better” version of Locke we also get some heavy flight 815 cross over action going on. First he meets Hurley which leads to him meeting Rose and finally meeting Benjamin Linus. Another Other off Island (Ethan being the other, who will be next? I’m betting the big guy, Tom), teaching European history, and being anal about coffee. Those poor students. I’m not entirely sure I like this version of Locke though. Without his faith Locke is…not Locke. I’m still not giving up on the Locke to Jack leg connection for a TD. I think that’s what will restore Locke’s faith and make him the Locke we all know from the past 5 seasons. Anyone see the parallels between Jack fixing Sarah so she could dance on her wedding day and Jack possibly fixing Locke so he can walk down the aisle on his wedding day????

I’m beginning to think that the point of all these non-crash time shifts are to show us what life would have been like for everyone if Jacob hadn’t intervened and began drawing them to the Island. I wouldn’t be surprised if we find out in the finale that this time shifts are actually the post script to the show. Like Island Time will end such that everyone restarts without Jacob but instead of needing a credit sequence like the end of Animal House telling us what everyone did after their time on the Island we’ll already know because we’ll have had these time shifts that show us. One thing is for sure – the Non Crash Time is not occurring back in 2004 when the original crash happened. I’m thinking it is happening sometime after.

Island Time – Ben Is A Great Eulogizer
Ilyena, Ben, Frank, and Sun are headed to the Temple. The safest place on the Island according to Ilyena. First they have some unfinished business with Locke’s body. They bury it at the old beach graveyard which houses old favorites like Libby, Ecko, Anna Lucia, Boone, and Shanon. After a fantastic eulogy from Ben (“I am sorry I murdered him”, classic!) they head off for the Temple.

Not much happening with these guys excep Ilyena saying that Evil Locke is now recruiting and that his was stuck in the Locke body from now on. That is an interesting notion. Why is he stuck now and now all the other times he’s taken other forms? Does it have something to do with Locke’s body?

Island Time – Sawyer and the Cave of Mystery
Now that was kind of a cool intro thing where we saw through the eyes of Black Shirt as he black smoked around the Island. Then he came to rest where he had Richard tied up in a tree. They obviously have some history together and Black Shirt totally scares the piss out of Richard. It is unsettling to see the normal cool and calm Richard in such a freakout mode. Evil Locke offers Richard the chance to join him but Richard says heck no. No big deal to Evil Locke, he’s off to get Sawyer instead. Not before he, but not Richard, sees a creepy blonde kid in the jungle bleeding from his hands. WTF?

Sawyer, being in a delicate emotional state in addition to being shit canned, agrees to follow Evil Locke for the promise of the answer to the “why am I here” question. During their hike Evil Locke once again sees the creepy blonde kid. Unlike last time Sawyer sees the kid too. Double WTF. Locke bolts off chasing him. When he catches up to the kid the kid reminds him that he “can’t kill him”. At first I thought this kid was Jacob reborn. Then after that I thought it was some weird Island ref reminding Evil Locke that he can’t kill Jacob but some co-workers this morning mention that him could in fact be Sawyer not Jacob. As that I like that theory infinitely better than mine I shall take it as my own (credits to Allison and Matt). So the little kid is a Lil’ Jacob and Evil Locke is planning to kill Sawyer. Second hand somehow I’d imagine since there are rules that apply to him and killing people. Not that he can’t kill at all, he certainly has killed as black smoke (Mr. Eko, the pilot, countless mercenaries from the freighter, Brahm and his crew earlier this season).

While Evil Locke was playing hide and seek with Lil’ Jacob Richard took the time to hop out of the jungle and save Sawyer by taking him to the Temple. Only problem is Sawyer doesn’t want to go back. Richard senses Evil Locke coming back and bolts. Both Evil Locke and Sawyer lie to each other about talking to nobody and the journey continues. Sawyer quotes a little Of Mice and Men for a second but doesn’t pull the trigger on Evil Locke. Once again appeased with promises of answers. Sort of like all of us Lost viewers back during the first part of season 3. Evil Locke does mention that that book was well after his time meaning that he is very old indeed.
After a nice little climb down a rickety ladder on a sheer cliff Evil Locke and Sawyer reach the Secret Cave of Names. All of the names on the walls represent people Evil Locke says were candidates to replace Jacob as “protector of the island”. That could be the end game to all of this – getting replacements for Jacob and Black Shirt.

A lot of names were crossed off and if you check the screen captures you can see the following recognizable names: Littleton (Claire), Lewis (Charlotte), O’Toole and Lacombe (French scientists with Danielle), Jones, Mattingly, and Cunningham (all US military from the 50s), Goodspeed (Horace or Ethan?) Burke (Juliet), Pace (Charlie), Faraday (Daniel) and Straume (Miles, why is he crossed of it he’s not dead!?).

Those not crossed off have The Numbers (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42) attached to them:
4 – Locke (who is then crossed off)
8 – Reyes (Hurley)
15 – Ford (Sawyer)
16 – Jarrah (Sayid)
23 – Sheppard (Jack)
42 – Kwon (Sun or Jin)

All of which Jacob interacted with in last year’s finale. Everyone’s there except Kate Austen and she isn’t even on the wall as crossed off. What does it mean for her? Given some of those names Jacob has been pulling people to the Island for some time now.

Evil Locke gives Sawyer 3 options: he can wait and see how it plays out, he can become Island Protector, or he can come with him and get the fudge out of dodge. The key point to note is that Evil Locke needs somebody to come with him to get off the Island. He can’t, unlike Jacob apparently given the interactions off Island he had last year, leave the Island on his own. Sawyer says he wants to get the hell off. This is what I think though - he’s workin’ a long con. Yes that’s right I’m throwing that out here right now: even though Sawyer is depressed, drunk, and an emotional wreck I still think he’s working on figuring out what Evil Locke’s deal is and how he can screw him over and save everyone. He’s looking for revenge for Juliet now and he’s not going to stop until the Island itself pays.

One final note regarding Black Shirt/Evil Locke. They certainly are trying to give his side of the story and make him seem like the good guy. By him making Jacob the enemy by implying that everyone is on the Island because of him he’s making him the bad guy. It sounds like just the sort of thing the devil would do which is why I’m not on the Jacob is Evil Boat.

One final final note that just popped in my head – those two skeletons they found in the cave way back in season 1 that had a white and black rock with them? Former Island Protectors!

Let that marinate inside your brain banana for a while.

What Kate Does

2010-02-10T10:37:00.003-05:00

Is it just me or are Kate centric episodes almost always boring as hell? All she ever does is go after people who explicitly tell her not to go after them. At the close of this one I thought it was a rather dull episode but after I had some time to think about it I realized that there were some pretty serious implications from what we learned turning a relatively mundane episode to a fairly interesting one. Want to know more? Read on!

Non-Crash Time – Kate Does A Bunch of Boring Shit
When we last left Kate he was hijacking a cab with a pregnant Claire in it. For some reason she’s serious about keeping the preggo as a hostage but not so much for the fat cabbie. He doesn’t so much run away as he waddles hypnotically to freedom. That leaves us with Kate and Claire until Kate tosses Claire out and refuses to give her her luggage. What a bitch!

Jump to Kate pulling into a random auto shop where she meets a friendly mechanic who cuts off her handcuffs no questions asked. Now are all auto mechanics so anti-law that they’ll practically trip over their own feet to help a wanted fugitive or is Kate’s gun able to shoot magic friendliness bullets that rather than terribly wound her target instead convert them into Kate’s best buddy for life? Kate has a change of heart when she tries to get some new clothes from Claire’s bag - it’s full of baby stuff. Realizing she can’t fit into any of those maternity moo-moo’s Claire brought from the outback Kate decides to give the stuff back. Proving she can track people in a city just as well as she can in the jungle Kate finds Claire on the side of the road waiting for the bus. Showing that she’ll be like the best mother ever Claire willingly accepts a ride from a wanted fugitive who a little over an hour ago stole her luggage and left her in the middle of a LA ghetto.

So Kate takes Claire to the soon to be adoptive parents of her baby only to find that the woman’s husband has left her and she totally doesn’t want the kid anymore. Was she so devastated that she couldn’t even, you know, call the pregnant lady whose baby you were going to take BEFORE she boards a plane from Australia? All the crying ladies around makes Aaron want to bail on this pity party and he pulls the ejection seat cord and next think you know Claire is about have her baby with the help of her new best friend Kate. That magic gun sure works wonders Kate!

Back in a hospital you’d assume they’d run into Jack cause that’s just how LOST works but he’s a spinal surgeon not Cliff Huxtable so Claire’s doctor turns out to be none other than….Ethan Goodspeed. Yes Horace’s adopted son is off Island and working as an OBGYN; similar to what he was doing on Island. Is he still an Other? Do the Others even exist in this alternate timeline since their Island is underwater? One thing we do know is that baby Ethan survived whatever caused the Island to sink under the ocean. He sticks Claire with a couple needles and Aaron decides the womb isn’t that bad of a place after all. As Claire sits recovering from her near labor she covers for Kate with the cops and gives her her credit card. You’re going to be the best mother ever Claire!

Island Time – Kate Doesn’t Listen
So Sawyer bails on the whole Temple crew and tells Kate not to go after him. Immediately Kate goes after him with Jin, a new Other named Justin, and my favorite Other/Philadelphia bar owner Aldo. You may remember Aldo from season 3 when he fell for the old Wookie Prisoner Gag. You may also know Aldo from his off Island alter ego Mac, co-owner of Paddy’s Pub! Aldo immediately starts channeling his inner Mac and gets up in Kate’s face. Before he can bust out his sweet karate moves Kate has him unconscious and she’s off after Sawyer. Better luck next time Nightman.

Kate finds Sawyer weeping like a little girl in Otherville. We find out that Sawyer was going to propose to Juliet and then both him and Kate take turns apologizing for killing her. One limp wristed toss later Kate’s leaving Otherville, a lobster has a sweet engagement ring, and Sawyer’s holed up in a cabin eating Hagen Daz, watching Jennifer Aniston movies, and weeping quietly to himself.

Jin catches up with Kate in the jungle and so does Aldo and Justin. “What’s up bitches” Aldo implores just before taking two caps to the chest. Justin takes a hit too and we look up to find the shooter is none other than Claire back from her 5th season hiatus and looking very, very crazy. I’m talking Rousseau crazy and that aint the good kind of crazy.

Island Time – Indiana Jack and the Temple of Gettin’ His Ass Beat
Finally all that boring Kate business is past us and we can get to the meat of the episode! Sayid is alive and confused. His confusion grows even greater when Asianpants McGoo starts randomly torturing him. Turns out he’s testing him for infection. And Sayid’s got it bad. Aint no cow bell going to cure that fever.
Jack and Asianpants McGoo have a little pow wow and Jack finds out that Sayid is “infected”. Asiantpants tells Jack that, as Sayid’s physician, has to get him to take a mystery pill. Jack, remembering one of his med school classes mentioning something about not giving patients medicine when you have no clue as to what it actually does, decides not to give Sayid the pill. Instead he does the logical thing – he takes it himself. Hell, it worked for that guy who created LSD. This leads to Jack getting his ass beaten again by AsianPants McGoo using the same technique my mom used to use when I accidentally swallowed something bad. Guess what? The pill was poison and the only way to cure Sayid is to kill him. Again. Rough week for him.

In addition to Sayid we find out at least one other person is infected – Jack’s half sister Claire. Thus explaining the whole crazy thing she had going on with Jin and Kate. This is where the implications of the episode start to get interesting! Claire has been infected. By who? Well the last time we saw her she was being daddy’s little girl in Jacob’s former cabin so we can assume it was Christian Sheppard. Now I’ve always thought that the Christian on the Island was merely Black Smoke taking a human form but think on this: we have just seen somebody who was dead, Sayid, come back from the grave but infected by Black Shirt. Christian’s body has been missing since way back in the first season! What if Black Shirt found him and resurrected him with his taint (the infection, not the other thing, get your minds out of the gutter)? Thus Christian Sheppard isn’t just a Black Smoke figment he is as real and alive as Claire and Sayid are! So Black Shirt has at least 2 (soon to be 3 if Sayid continues to live) followers on the Island. Either one of them could have disturbed the circle of ash around Jacob’s cabin allowing Black Shirt entry.

The whole “infection” thing as been around longer than just this episode we’ve just forgotten about it because it hasn’t been mentioned in a while. Danielle was always talking about how her science team was infected. And where did all her science team go last season? Into the Temple! Dragged there by the Black Smoke. And remember Desmond stayed holed up in the hatch all that time cause he thought there was an infection running loose on the Island. It’s going to be interesting to see what happens to the infected and how it makes them loyal to Black Shirt.

The Science Behind LOST

2010-02-03T17:07:00.003-05:00

Here's a link regarding the science of last night's episode. It's by Dr. Michio Kaku so you know it's right!

Rock Solid Science!

LA X

2010-02-03T07:47:00.008-05:00

Welcome back LOST aficionados! It’s been a long wait but finally, after months of waiting, we got our first new episode of Lost in what seemed like forever. Let’s not waste time on pleasantries there’s LOST to discuss!

The biggest revelation in this episode had to be that the bomb worked. Sort of. What it did was create a forking of the time line starting at the point of The Incident that yielded two distinct universes. Parallel timelines – one where all the previous events of LOST happened and everyone’s still stuck on the Island and another one where the Island was destroyed by the bomb and sank under the waves thus preventing Oceanic 815 from crashing allowing it to touch down safely at LAX. The implications and possibilities in the non-crash timeline are huge. Already we saw a couple: Charlie alive and well and Desmond enjoying a book next to Jack instead of being stuck in a hatch pushing a button every 108 minutes. Those are just little things imagine what else could have changed because the Island isn’t there: what is Ben doing in this timeline? Does he even exist? Is Charles Widmore still searching for the Island? Are Jacob and Black Shirt still alive and if so where are they? And how are the two timelines going to be joined together? I’ll get to that a little further down. For now let’s examine each timeline.

Island Time – Jack n’ Company
So the bomb didn’t work and they’re still stuck on the Island. But they aren’t stuck in 1977 anymore they’re back in the “present” Island time and synced up with everyone on the beach at the statue. Jack and crew wake up at the site of the imploded hatch but it seems a lot of steel debris from the ’77 construction project has followed them. That and the bitchin’ van. Sawyer’s pissed off at Jack, Kate’s in a tree, and Juliet is pinned under a metric f#%k ton of scrap metal. Everyone works to get her out yet she dies and her spirit passes forward into the body of a FBI agent on V. Before she leaves though she tells Miles via his spooktravision that the bomb worked. Contrary to what everything around them says. How’d she know it worked? Does death somehow get you in touch with your alternate dimension self?

While all that Juliet stuff is happening Sayid is dying and the ghost of Jacob is chatting with Hurley telling him that the only thing that will heal Sayid is to take him to the Temple. You may remember the Temple from such things as “the place where that French guy got dragged by the black smoke”, “where they took lil’ Ben to heal him from Sayid’s bullet wound”, or “the place all the Others are hiding out per Ben’s instructions prior to all the wheel turning business. They go to the Temple and meet Asianpants McGoo and his translator John Lennon. We also get to see Cindy the stewardess and the two kids from the tail section that were abducted by the Others way back in season 2. Asianpants breaks Hurley’s ankh and reads a list from Jacob. Man does that guy love lists! I’m betting it didn’t say “Sayid better live or everyone’s screwed” like John Lennon said.

They take Sayid to the spring and notice that the water has turned from clear to brownish. I’d assume that’s totally a bad sign but they drown Sayid in it anyways. Before drowning him John Lennon says there are risks. That’s the same thing Richard said back in ’77 when Kate took lil’ Ben to him for healing. With the brown water I’d imagine those risks are even greater. Low and behold the crap water doesn’t work and Sayid is brought out in a very Jesus Christ like fashion, with his arms spayed out as if on the cross. Hmmm…Jesus Christ…resurrection…who needs to be resurrected….Jacob! Did we just witness Jacob being reborn in Sayid’s body? I’m thinking we did thus the whole “we’re f#%ked if Sayid doesn’t live” cause if he didn’t then Jacob is really gone and they’re stuck with Black Shirt. The Others lose their sh!t when they hear Jacob’s dead and scramble to encircle the Temple in black ash, Black Shirt’s only weakness. Well that and the sonic barrier around Otherville and delicious apple pie.

Speaking of black ash you remember when we last saw it? Around Jacob’s cabin. But somebody had broken the circle thus allowing Black Shirt to get in. While one might ask “why’d he want to get in?” that person would be stupid. He wanted to get in so he could pose as Christian Sheppard and start telling folks to move the Island. The real question you need to ask is who was in cahoots with Black Shirt and broke the circle in the first place! Black Shirt is not without at least one follower on the Island I say!

At the very end Sayid comes alive again just before Jack gets the crap beaten out of him again for like the 5th time that week. Fade to black, LOST! . Damn you LOST those 2 hours went quick!

Island Time – Evil Locke
Hopefully by now it should be blatantly obvious that Evil Locke was the Black Smoke monster, the Black Smoke monster was responsible for almost all of “hallucinations” of people who couldn’t possibly be on the Island, and Black Smoke is in fact Black Shirt. And Black Shirt’s plan to kill Jacob worked now he wants to go “home”. Where is home? Why the Temple of course! That’s why the Others were totally freaking out cause daddy’s coming home and he’s been drinkin’. An interesting thought – Black Smoke dragged the frenchie scientists into the Temple back in the 60s so if I’m right and Black Shirt’s home is the Temple then at some point between the dragging/arm ripping off incident Black Shirt gets evicted cause present day Temple is Others territory.

Not much else happens on the beach. Lapedus and Sun just stand around with WTF looks on their faces and Richard yells at Ben and throws him into the sand at dead Locke’s feet. Evil Locke then tells Richard he looks good without the chains (PS - he was a slave on the Black Rock) and then beats the hell out of him. As he tosses him over his shoulder he reprimands everyone on the beach saying he’s very disappointed in them. Why!? Because they were following Jacob’s foolish ideals and disproving his believe that humans fight and destroy everything?

Non-Crash Time
It seems that even without the crash the Losties are being drawn together. Boone making small talk with Locke. Jack saving Charlie from choking to death. Sawyer helping Kate get away and then Kate hijacking the cab with Claire in it. Hell we even saw Arntz for a little bit talking to a now “most luckiest man in the world” Hurley. And in what I thought was the coolest interaction of the night – Jack talking to Locke and telling him nothing was irreparable. The past 5 seasons of LOST have been basically Jack versus Locke and now we have Jack offering Locke, a man he pretty much can’t stand on Island, a free surgery consult that could lead to him walking again! There’s also the subtle implication that “nothing was irreparable” meaning that perhaps this fractured parallel universe could be fixed. And who’s the man to fix it? Desmond!

Desmond has always been “uniquely different” due to him turning the implode key on the Swan. I think this is going to allow him to either travel between timelines or his Non-crash version of himself will have the knowledge his Crash self has. That’s the reason I think he was on the flight and then vanished so mysteriously. BTW the book he was reading on the plane? The internet tells me its Haroun and the Sea of Stories. Not entirely sure what to make of that yet but LOST writers to like to foreshadow with their book choices.

That’s about it for now. Why don’t we continue the discussion in the comments section?

I Was Wrong

2009-05-29T09:30:00.000-04:00

Turns out it was Taweret not Sobek. Oh well, good hustle Mike.

The Incident - Post Mortum

2009-05-14T14:26:00.007-04:00

Wow. My brain is still buzzing following that epic finale. My thoughts on the episode keep popping in and out of existence in my head but let me see if I can get most of them down here in some sort of summary:

Island Circa 1977
-First of all let me say that I am strongly in the school of thought that believes that, just like Miles said, everything they did actually caused the Incident. Not only this but their actions further intensified the hostilities between Dharma and the Others. Think about it. A group of what they assume are Other terrorists bust into their construction site, shoot up the place, and drop a bomb into their drill hole. We know Radinzsky survives to man the Swan with Kelvin so you can bet your ass he’s going to be spearheading the Post-Incident Hostile hate. He was pretty unstable to begin with and now that they’ve blown up his project he’s going off the deep end. And Dr. Chang, what did I tell you about casually leaning your arm against that drill? Sorry you had to learn the hard way, hope you don’t miss that hand too much.

-Speaking of Changtastic, unlike Radinzsky, he is pretty level headed. He was against drilling and knew the Losties were trying to avert a catastrophe so how will he act after the smoke clears? I doubt he’ll go on a Hostile witch hunt like Radinzsky but whatever he does won’t be able to stem Radinzsky’s quest for vengeance. I’m guessing that the Losties vanish back to their time post Incident and Chang is left holding the bag wondering where his son went and is drummed out of a leadership role by Radinzsky.

-What was up with Juliet’s wishy washy-ness? Did she really feel that she’d already lost Sawyer or was she playing her scripted part to make the Incident happen? That’d mean she knows more than she’s letting on and I’m not really ready to believe that yet.

-Man that fight between Sawyer and Jack was rough. I thought for a second Sawyer was going to beat Jack to death. Once Sawyer and Juliet started talking did you notice Jack stumbling around in the background in a daze? Hilarious.

-I’m guessing, and I’m sure a lot of others are thinking the same thing, that the Incident propels Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, Sayid, and Jin forward in time to the present. I’m guessing Miles will go too cause he’s from that time but he was never visited by Jacob so perhaps he’ll stay behind and get to hang out with the father he never knew. That’d be nice. And what about Juliet? Does she die or does she get sent back to the present with everyone else? If she gets sent back I sure hope the Island does a quick healing job on her cause otherwise she’s in some rough shape.

-Bomb + Swan = white sky and possible time travel. Fail Safe Key + Swan = purple sky and the ability to see into the future. Hmmm, I wonder that since Juliet was so close to the bomb when it went off, similarly to Desmond when he turned the key in the Swan, if she’ll not only live but have some sort of power like seeing the future or something.

-I hope this episode erased any doubt in your heads about the identity of Adam & Eve from season one. Those bones are obviously Bernard and Rose. Looks like we know at least they have a happy ending. Since they weren’t in that close proximity to the Swan I guess they didn’t get to time travel that go-around.

-I wish Sawyer had gotten a chance to give old Phil a quick one liner after he got impaled by giant metal rods, something a la Schwarzenegger in Predator, “Stick around”.

Jacob’s Travels
-Did you notice that every time Jacob visited one of the Losties he touched them? Does that somehow link them to him? Will they perhaps have some of his “power” once they get to the present?

-Did anyone else think that it looked like Locke was actually dead after the fall from the window and then Jacob touched him and brought him back to life?

-I mentioned this in the live blog, but the book Jacob was reading when Locke hit the ground was Everything That Rises Must Converge (Wikipedia , Revelation Summary , Everything That Rises Must Converge Summary) I can definitively see how Ben could be considered Julian and Jacob Julian’s mother.

-That plane Lil’ Kate was holding? In case you don’t remember it’s the same toy plane her childhood friend (the boy in the flashback) gave her. You’ll also remember she later caused that friend to get killed while she was running from the law. She risked getting caught getting that plane back from a safe deposit box and once she was on the Island got it out of the Marshall’s briefcase.

-Why did Jacob space out his visits to the Losties? He visited Kate when she was a child, Jack before the crash when he was a resident, Jin/Sun when they got married, Sayid shortly after he got off the Island and Hurley right before he went back.

-And what about his visit to Ilyna? Why was her face covered in gauze? Was she a leper? Obviously Jacob healed her. Who else was known for healing lepers? A guy you might have heard of before – Jesus!

Present
-The big statue turned out to be a giant crocodile man who I believe is the Egyptian god Sobek . Appropriate place for Jacob to live, under a god who was known as a repairer of evil that had been done. That certainly fits his relation ship with…

-This seasons bad ass game changer? EVIL LOCKE! I had my suspicions early in the episode but I didn’t figure out what was in the box until like 2 seconds before they tipped it over then all of a sudden everything made sense!

-Who is Evil Locke? Why the black shirted guy from the beginning of the episode the guy who wants to kill Jacob. A revelation that gives the Jacob/Island dynamic a spin on its head. I got the feeling that these were two immortals perhaps God and the Devil or, if you want to tap into the whole feel of the Island, Fate and Free Will. Jacob certainly seems to be a believer of Free Will even up to the end telling Ben, right before he kills him, that he had a choice. Jacob believes that eventually humans will make the right decisions for the Island and use its powers for good whereas Black Shirt thinks that all they’ll ever do is fight over who gets control over the Island. We meet them right as Jacob has brought yet another group of people to the Island much to Black Shirt’s displeasure. The other group? Why the Black Rock. Although how it eventually ends up in the middle of the jungle remains to be seen.

-Given these adversarial nature of these two perhaps they are like Jacob and Esau from the Bible. Warring brothers. Another Biblical connection? Jacob had a son named Benjamin. Jacob also wrestled with an angel for 2 days and when he couldn't be beaten the angel touched him, blessing him. Jacob touching all the Losties blessing them?

-With the revelation that Neo-Locke was actually Black Shirt we know he has been the one showing up as dead people on the Island: Eko’s brother Yemmi, Ben’s Mother, Horace, Alex, and most importantly Christian Sheppard.

-So Ilyna’s crew didn’t turn out to be Dharma, they were more like Jacob’s Special Forces squad. Is Ilyna an ageless person like Richard? They didn’t know each other but she certainly has some sort of special position with Jacob.

-The answer to Ilyana's question "What lies in the shadow of the statue"? Richard's answer, "He who shall save us". Very Christ-like...

-Poor John Locke. He ends up being the ultimate pawn. All his life he was looked down on and then finally somebody tells him he's destined to be great and it turns out once again that the only thing great about him is his gullibility. His dad takes his kindey, Black Shirt takes his whole body! Even Richard has always wondered by Locke was "special" when he didn't show any signs of it. Turns out he was just a loser all along.

-Think of all of the absolutely crazy stuff Black Shirt arranged so that he could get to the position where he could kill Jacob? He’s been manipulating practically everything from the start? The whole concept of Locke as the leader of the Others was manufactured by him so that he’d be able to access Jacob. “Jacob’s Cabin” was never Jacob’s home, he lived in the foot of the statue! The cabin was the home of Black Shirt. When Locke thought he was talking to Jacob it was Black Shirt! Black Shirt took the form of Christian telling Locke that he had to die to lead. He pulled all the strings to effectively make everyone believe that Locke was the leader the Others had been waiting for. All so he could take the form of Locke when his dead body showed up and command Ben to kill Jacob. When Ben asked Smokie for forgiveness and Alex showed up saying that Jacob wanted him to do anything Locke said? That was Black Shirt telling Ben to do whatever he said while he was Locke! Also notice how in that episode Locke and Smokie were never in the same place? That’s because Black Shirt IS the smoke too! And when Smokie grabs you and lets you live that’s Black Shirt scanning you and getting all your history so he can effectively BE you if the need arises.

So that’s my attempt at summarizing what could be considered one of the greatest 2 hours of TV man has ever known. But going into the final season there are still questions that need answers:

-Walt. What’s his importance and what role will he play. People hypothesize that Matthew Abbadon (the bald black dude) is just a older time traveling Walt but I’m not ready to believe that. And what was up with his dream about Locke where a lot of people were trying to hurt him? Shortly after that Locke was dead and it doesn’t look like he’s getting any more alive. Will he come back to life next season and be confused with Evil Locke/Black Shirt, thus a lot of people would be trying to hurt him.

-Claire. She’s currently hanging out with Christian, which I theorize is actually Black Shirt. That’s not a good person to be keeping company with. Not at all.

-Aaron. A lot was made about this kid at the beginning but he’s pretty much just a point of contention between Jack and Kate now. Will he come back to the Island? Will he be reunited with his mother Claire?

-So are Widmore and Ben actually on the same team? They’re both team Jacob (although Ben’s stabbing Jacob will probably not help his case). The real battle isn’t between Widmore and Ben, it’s between Jacob and Black Shirt. And that’s what next season is going to be about that war. Maybe Ben and Widmore will even put away their differences. And are the same rules that Jacob and Black Shirt are bound by being followed by Ben and Widmore, thus why Ben couldn’t kill Widmore?

-Finally – is Jacob really the good guy? LePedus had it right, the more a person tells you they’re on the good guy side the more you have to distrust them.

Ok, now let’s discuss all through the summer and into 2010!

It Begins!

2009-05-13T20:59:00.060-04:00

In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson in Jurassic Park - Hold on to your butts.

9:02 Who's this Robinson Caruso chap? Oh shit - is that the Black Rock?!

9:03 Are these two dudes some sort of Gods using men as their play things? White clothed to black clothed.

9:03 Loophole....JACOB!?!?

9:03 Who is an Egyptian God with a freaking crocodile head?

9:04 Ah, commercial break. I don't know how I'm going to do all this live bloggin. So if the guy in white is Jacob who's the guy in black? Perhaps he is....the BLACK SMOKE?!?!

9:06 Poop, a Kate flashback.

9:07 Jacob? Bailing Kate out? He's obviously had his eye on Kate for a while. For whatever bet he and Black Shirt are running. Will we find out that he hung out this other Losties?

9:10 Fucking punch his ass Changtastic!

9:11 I kinda like the little "Lost March" music. I need that to play when I walk around town.

9:12 Ben admits that he's never actually met Jacob.

9:13 Candidate? Perhaps for Dharma?

9:15 To quote Detective Mills in Se7en, "What's in the box? WHATS IN THE BOX!!!" Lost has the upper hand now.

9:17 Egyptian crocodile god - Sobek. Repairer of Evil. Thank you internet.

9:19 Well look at that Jacob visited Lil' Sawyer too.

9:23 Wasn't Horace an Egyptian god too? Horace the god, Horace the crazy Dharma stoner?

9:24 Could Locke actually be Black Shirt? Black Shirt said he wanted to kill Jacob...

9:25 Locke is TOTALLY Black Shirt, that's why he's going to make Ben kill Jacob. He can't do it due to whatever rules they have!

9:27 More on Sobek: Sobek's ambiguous nature lead some to say he was a repairer of evil that had been done, rather than a force for good in itself, for example, going to Duat to restore damage done to the dead as a result of their form of death. He was also said to call on suitable gods and goddesses required for protecting people in situation, effectively having a more distant role, nudging things along, rather than taking an active part.

9:29 Jacob can get off the Island whenever he wants at whatever time period? Also - OH SNAP!

9:34 Ouch, gut wound! Sayid might not make it. On a personal note, I've totally been to the place where they film Otherville in Hawaii. Little known fact its actually a YMCA camp.

9:37 BTW, Jenni, Richard is totally not Jacob :)

9:40 Vincent?! WTF? Oh, Bernard and Rose.

9:43 All we care about is being together? Eh Bernard? I'm thinking that almost assures that him and Rose are the couple in the case from season 1.

9:44 Why look, they found Jacob's shack. And the ash is broken, what does it mean?

9:45 Ok, so looks like Ilena and crew are sided with Jacob. Not Dharma :(

9:47 Been using...."it"?

9:47 Right now you're thinking, "Hey Mike, good call on the whole Sobek thing. That's going to be important".

9:49 Commercial thought - when the Losties go back to their own time I think they're going to pop out right in the shadow of the statue.

9:52 The amazing travelin' Jacob shows up right when Locke does his swan dive. Not only that but he brings him back to LIFE!

9:55 Jacob = God, Black Shirt = Devil?

9:57 I've totally been to that temple where Jin and Sun are getting married.

9:58 No surprises anymore - Jacob has meet all the Losties before the crash.

10:03 That book Jacob was reading: Everything That Rises Must Converge

10:05 Aaaahhhhh, what lies in the shadow of the statue? Jacob, bazingo!

10:08 Kyle's onto something with the physical touching of Jacob...

10:12 I wonder if Jack could die this episode?

10:18 Watch your arm Changtastic! Look how he's causally just leaning it against the drill. That's a recipe for disaster!

10:23 Crazy Commercial theory - whats in the box? A sarcophagus.

10:29 Ahhhhhh, so Jacob is the reason Hurley went on flight 316. Tricky little guy.

10:30 Sweet jesus only 30 more minutes!!!

10:33 Ben's ultimate moment of redemption could be coming when he DOESN'T kill Jacob...

10:41 This much gunplay, somebody has to die.

10:43 Oops, we caused The Incident!

10:46 That was INTENSE. Poor Juliet.

10:47 That's probably going to cause some friction between Jack and Sawyer...

10:51 Crap, I don't speak Spanish!

10:52 Lockes Body! Just came to me right before they flipped him out!

10:54 I was totally RIGHT!

10:56 That book Jacob was reading is starting to make sense. Only after Ben kills Jacob will he realize the error of his decision.

10:57 They're coming? The 77s Losties perhaps?

10:59 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2010 so far away!!!!!!

Well folks that's it. What a ride. I'll try and summarize all this stuff later but for now I have to try and put my brains back into my head.

Live Blog TONIGHT!

2009-05-13T08:29:00.003-04:00

To celebrate the season finale of Lost I'll be live bloggin' throughout the episode. Want to see my crazy theories develop on the spot? Then load up the Lost Forum come 9pm.

You're Going to Kill Who Now?

2009-05-07T10:07:00.001-04:00

This week’s episode was like a chess match, every piece being moved into position for next week’s season finale where LOST will ultimately say “checkmate” and all our minds will be collectively blown all over our living rooms. Start breaking out the tarp now so you’ll limit the mess to a minimum.

First let’s start with our friends in 1977:
- Daniel is starting to look pretty darn dead. I’m beginning to think he might not make it…

- Did you see Charles’ covert pat on Ellie’s stomach when they were side baring in the camp? I’m thinking she’s already got a Lil’ Dan in the oven.

- Looks like Dr. Chang is stepping up to fill the void of awesomeness left behind in the wake of Daniel’s death. His grilling of Hurley was classic, “You’re 46?”. Looks like he’s got enough authority to get people moving off the Island. Even a touching moment where Miles saw why his dad made him and his mother leave. I can’t be the only one who wanted Miles to run down there and give his dad a big hug and then both of them start playing a little father son catch. But even Dr. Changtastic (I’m copywriting that!) can’t seem to get Radinzsky to shut the hell up. That guy is a loose cannon.

- Jack has completed the metamorphosis from a man of science to a man of faith. Now his faith is saying “lets blow this mother fucker up!”. Kate of course, being Kate, doesn’t go along and gets captured. Thus she’s in the sub as it departs, much to Juliet’s displeasure. Cat fight eminent. Every time she and Sawyer seem to be out of it Kate shows back up to be the annoying third wheel. But given the previews for next week somehow they get back on the Island…

- So how’d the Others get Jughead down in the tunnels in the first place? As Richard said it’s a 4,000lb 12 foot bomb, that isn’t exactly the most mobile thing out there. And it’s probably still blasting out radiation, is that going to cause future implications? Is the series finale going to have Jack and Sayid dying from radiation poisoning?

- Are Miles, Hurley, and Jin headed back to the beach? Or are they going to somehow rescue Sawyer, Juliet, and Kate from the sub?

Now back to 2007:
- NeoLocke is one confident bastard. And he’s operating just like old Leader Ben – telling people where to go or what to do but not telling them why. And he’s totally manipulating like Ben too. Sun is going to be quite ticked off when she finds out Locke wasn’t really trying to save their people, instead he was focused on killing Jacob.

- Speaking of killing Jacob I’m guessing a lot of people are taking that as a bad thing. Remember back when Locke first saw Jacob Jacob’s ghostly voice pleaded “help me”? Given what we now know about the Island and its unique time shifting properties, I’m thinking instead of physically time shifting like the Losties were doing at the beginning of this season Jacob’s mind has shifted leaving his body god knows where. He is looking for the sweet sweet release of death, and thus Locke will be “helping him” by killing him. And that’s my Crazy Lost Theory of the Week™.

- Still on the subject of Jacob, Ben didn’t really seem to fight Locke’s accusation that he never was able to see Jacob. Was Ben using Jacob in a Wizard of Oz type role to keep the Others placated?

- I thought for a second at the beginning of this episode when we saw Richard building a ship in a bottle we were going to get a Richard back story episode that was going to boggle the minds and senses but alas we didn’t. Although the ship got me thinking – did Richard come on the original Black Rock and that’s why he likes ships? Or has he just always been on the Island. It is clear he is like the Island’s ambassador to the Others. Meant to guide and advise the Other’s Leader. And it looks like he’s never had to work with a proactive Leader like Locke. Even he is starting to have second thoughts about Locke. Or is he in awe of what the Leader that they were looking for can really do?

- Another cool point for NeoLocke – when he took them straight to where his past self was going to show up with a bullet wound and sent Richard to help him. Nice to see that callback and it further proved that NeoLocke knows what he’s doing. He even had Richard give himself the compass so that past self could then give the compass to past Richard in the 50s so that future Richard would have the compass to give to future Locke at that very moment. You’re eyes just crossed didn’t they?

Well that’s about it. Why don’t you all discuss it in the comments below. Last week had very poor participation. I’m going to go into week long meditation now in preparation for the season finale.

Harken Back to the Time of the Fonz

2009-04-30T10:17:00.001-04:00

Lost’s 100th episode left my mind a bubbling pile of goo splattered all over my couch. I’ve always thought Daniel was pretty neat but last night’s episode upgraded him from neat to totally awesome.

- First off, we find out why Daniel was twitchy and strange when we first met him. His mind was slowly recovering from being completely fried by his experiments. As his genius was repaired he got more and more coherent and his weird speech patterns vanished. I didn’t really notice it until this episode but as the episodes went by Daniel was slowly getting better and better. Remember the memory experiments Charlotte was running with Daniel? It was Daniel testing to see if his memory was in fact getting better. Now he’s back to the Oxford genius level Desmond saw when he visited him thanks to a) the Island’s healing properties and b) his finding of a constant to ground him, my main man Desmond. Yes that note in his journal makes a lot more sense now!

- Speaking of his experiment we now know what happened to poor Teresa. Astute minds will remember Teresa as the chick that Desmond visited a couple episodes ago who’s memory was all sort of messed up and everyone blamed Daniel. Daniel tested his device (the one he used to send Eloise the Mouse through time) on himself first and then Teresa. Apparently the mind fracturing side effects take a little time to develop and both of them ended up unable to remember things any more, although Teresa seems to have taken the brunt of the mindf$%k.

- On a nice call back to season 3’s opener we see Daniel watching the Oceanic crash news and crying but not knowing why. Now we know, he’s crying because subconsciously he knows his connection to that crash and his involvement. Also in that scene we get Charles Widmore owning up to the fact that he faked the whole thing.

- Daniel was Eloise and Widmore’s son. Didn’t I call that like seven episodes ago. Go ahead read through the forum posts, you’ll see it 

- Speaking of Eloise and Charles’s love – obviously there was a falling out between the two of them. Possibly because of Charles knocking up some off Island chick and having Penny? Or did it happen before then?

- On the subject of Eloise – she knew everything Daniel would end up doing that’s why she constantly drove him into academia (side note, I had total déjà vu while writing that sentence, weird). That also means that she knew that if Daniel did everything she drove him to it’d mean that eventually she’d shoot him. Her sacrifice for the Island, just like Widmore’s sacrifice of his relationship with Penny for the Island. Hell, I think Widmore actually likes Desmond but he’s been forced to push him away for the Island.

- Will Daniel die? I can’t say many people die on the Island as a result of a gunshot. Maybe the Others will take Danny Boy to the Temple for its magical healing properties? I’m thinking/hoping they do something so he doesn’t die, he’s such an interesting character.

- Daniel’s big point of this episode – things CAN change. But is he right though? It’s looking to me that everything he’s doing is actually CAUSING the Incident to happen. In the end maybe he’ll realize that his attempts to change things turn out to be the original things that cause things to happen. Just like Sayid though he’d change things by shoting Ben and Jack thought he’d take out Ben by not helping him after being shot. Turns out those are the things that exactly had to happen for Ben to become Ben. Even Daniel’s warning to Lil’ Charlotte – he’s just saying exactly what needed to be said to make sure Charlotte DOES come back to the Island (PS – “I’m not supposed to have chocolate before dinner” was exactly what Charlotte said before she died in Daniel’s arms). And do some of the Losties even want to prevent their crash? Kate for sure is better off after the Island since she was in federal custody during the flight. Sawyer certainly has changed for the better thanks to the crash as well.

Now on to non Daniel type stuff:
- Have you noticed that every time Kate is put in a position to pick between what Jack wants and what Sawyer wants Juliet pushes her into Jack? Seems like somebody’s a little insecure…

- Fonzi Times, enough said.

- How are Sawyer and crew going to get out of their jam with Radinsky now? We know Radinsky won’t be killed because he has to eventually go into the Swan and push the button with Kelvin and paint the map on the blast door. Will Jack and Kate return to save the day? Maybe Sayid will show back up with some Others backup? Perhaps Henry Gale will drop out of the sky in his hot air balloon float them all to safety?

Michael Emerson - He'll Read To Your Kids

2009-04-18T11:37:00.003-04:00

I don't watch the Jimmy Fallon Show but I've got to admit this was a good idea - get Ben Linus reading the classic nursery rhyme Little Boy Blue. Hilarious!

Chewbacca, What A Wookie

2009-04-16T10:14:00.001-04:00

Lost has now successfully blended in references to my college (UGA) and my favorite childhood film (Empire Strikes Back), I don’t know if it is physically possible for it to get any cooler. It was a nice Miles episode, confirming what many suspected about his “power” and his heritage. Let’s discuss:

- Main “shocker” of the episode was that Miles dad turns out to be none other than Dr. Pierre Chang, aka Dr. Marvin Candle aka Dr. Mark Wickmund aka Dr. Edgar Halliwax. Side note – all of Dr. Chang’s aliases seem to reference a candle, what could that mean?

- So what happens between happy Dr. Chang sitting there reading a polar bear book to baby Miles to the alluded to angry Dr. Chang who wants nothing to do with his wife or child? I’m thinking….nothing! Dr. Chang really did love Miles and his wife couldn’t take all the crazy shit that was going on on the Island and took them both away leaving a heart broken Dr. Chang. Crazy theory I know, but I’ve got an even crazier one!

- Dr. Chang is still alive! If he was dead and buried on the Island like his mom said (the Island being a “place (he) can never get to”) then Miles would have been able to talk to him when he arrived. Instead he saw his mother behind him at lunch one day and linked her to Dr. Chang. How Dr. Chang survives the Dharma Purge I don’t know but I do suspect he’s the head of my hypothesized 3rd faction joining the battle for the Island. Who are those people you ask?

- Why they’re the “what lays in the shadow of the Island” people! We know Ilana and now Brom. Brom being the guy who picked up Miles on the side of the road and for those with astute observation skills was also with Ilana on the beach when they took up weapons. They’re not with Ben and they’re not with Widmore, I think they’re with the remnants of Dharma seeking to reclaim their Island and all their fancy experiments. You didn’t think Ben could just kill all of them and their financers off Island wouldn’t notice did you? The Degroots and Alvar Hanzo are mad and they’ve unleashed their main man, Dr. Pierre Chang aka Changtastic, to get their Island back. It’ll make for quite the touching father/son reunion one day.

Now for the non Miles stuff:

- The dead dude Miles picked up? A filling pulled out and through his brain? Sounds like the work of an electromagnetic anomaly. That means he was working on constructing the Swan station (aka The Hatch, man I’m using a lot of akas today). The presence of Radinzsky only further confirms it. Was his body taken to the Orchid for quick disposal? Did they pop him out in Tunisia?

- I can totally believe that not only did Hurley write Empire Strikes Back and send it to George Lucas; George Lucas filmed that script and thus made the greatest of the 6 Star Wars movies. It also explains why the last 3 were terrible, no Hurley rewrite.

- Things are looking rough for the Sawyer/Kate/Juliet Let’s Get Ben Saved By The Others Corporation - they’ve been found out by Phil and Roger. How long can Sawyer keep Phil tied up and how long can Roger stay drunk enough that people won’t believe his crazy ramblings. I will give out negative points to Juliet for not thinking of a better excuse for Ben vanishing than “I turned my back and he was gone”. Tell him they took him to the Hydra for operating or something!

- Everyone who predicted Daniel Faraday would show up right before the Lost BOOM just won a free Faraday bobblehead! What has he been doing for the past 3 years in Ann Arbor? According to the next episode preview (in 2 weeks DAMN THEM!) he was figuring out pretty much everything about the Island.
Enjoy the clip show next week :(

Note To Self - Never Shoot Desmond

2009-04-09T10:55:00.001-04:00

How rare an episode of Lost comes along in which we actually get more answers than questions and luckily last night’s episode was one of those times.

- First off we learned a lot about Charles Widmore. He was the leader of the Others and could only be trumped by orders from Jacob (the defacto spirit of the Island) or his right hand man Richard (the defacto spirit of badassery). He was certainly willing to go to extremes to protect the Island and had no problem killing a woman and her child. Well strike that, he had to problem telling somebody to kill a woman and her child, he didn’t actually do it himself. We also find out how he was exiled from the Island – not via the Wheel like we were led to believe but taken off by the submarine. And it was for a rather mundane reason – he left the Island several times and knocked up non-Islander with Penny (thus canceling my theory that Eloise was Penny’s mom in addition to Daniel’s). Given that Richard and Tom could leave the Island freely I’m guessing it was the siring of Penny that got him in trouble.

- On the subject of Alex, it seems that the Island did in fact want her dead and that Widmore was right for ordering Ben to kill her. It took a couple years but it finally got its bidding done and I think part of the reason Ben was spared was because Alex’s death was its will.

- Lots of holes about Ben filled in too! Turns out he totally just swooped in and kidnapped Alex. The curious thing about that was that according to the time frame, around 1988ish, the Purge hadn’t happened yet so he was still with Dharma yet he was doing the bidding of the Others. Not only that but he had brought along young Ethan too. How were they sneaking in and out of the Dharma camp to hang out with their Other buddies? And why was Ethan willing to forsake his own people?

- Another Ben answer that we pretty much knew – he went to the marina to kill Penny. But it turns out Ben does have a heart when it comes to kids and he couldn’t gun her down in front of little Charlie. Probably due to his own daddy issues. That lead directly to the ass beating of a lifetime at the hands of one Desmond Hume. He got of lucky with that, Desmond probably should have just shot him and been done with it. This was another reason I think the Island spared him – he is actually a good guy. For the most part.

- The main point of this episode I think was to establish the duality between Charles and Ben and Ben and Locke. Ben came in and usurped Charles’ position with the Others and now the same thing has happened to Ben with Locke taking over. Locke pretty much called it out when he asked Ben how it felt to not know what the hell was going on. At that point it was clear their positions had switched.

- Inside the Temple we get a whole bunch of what seems like Egyptian glyphs and a picture of Anubis Egyptian god of the dead communing with a weird zig zaggy thing with a face (the black smoke?). Smokie comes out, surrounds Ben, checks his soul, and then lets him live after Ben says he is truly sorry for what he did. THAT is the key difference between when Ben confronted Smokie and when Eko did. Eko had no remorse and was thusly beat to death. After his fun little Smoke meeting Ben then runs into Alex who proceeds to tell him that he’s going to follow John Locke and he’s going to like it. It’ll be fun to see follower Ben for a while, I wonder how long it’ll last. While Ben does like the Island he isn’t a follower, he’s a leader and sooner or later he’s going to try and take down John Locke. Speaking of...

- Here’s my Crazy Lost Theory of the Week™ - John Locke is really dead, the John Locke we’re seeing now is a black smoke apparition like Christian, Eko’s brother Yemmi, and Alex. Whenever the black smoke was around Locke vanished. I’m going to be paying close attention to his whereabouts in the future and see if he and Smokie exist at the same place in the same time. How could Locke have known where the Temple was? He’s never been before. Yeah Smokie tried to pull him down one of his holes but that was in the middle of the jungle. Jin, so far, is the only one who’s been to the Temple while he was time jumping and caught up with Danielle and her crew.

- Why doesn’t Ben remember Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sawyer, Juliet, and Miles from the Dharma Initiative? Either he’s lying or they’re going to be leaving 1977 before Lil’ Ben gets back from the Others healfest.

- And what’s up with Ella? All of a sudden she’s got guns and some weird passcode, “What’s in the shadow of the statue?”. She’s shaping up to be a Widmore plant and I’m guessing it was her crew that were totally shooting at Sawyer and company when they were in the outrigger.

Your Highness

2009-04-03T15:31:00.000-04:00

Do You Twitter?

2009-04-03T14:52:00.002-04:00

Follow the amazing insights of the Lost Island - @thelostisland.

Irony Meet Jack. Jack, Irony.

2009-04-02T09:07:00.003-04:00

First off let me say that I am starting to really not care for Kate. Her whole set of flashbacks were rather boring if you ask me. Luckily '77 Island storyline was solid.

- Lets get the boring part out of the way first, Kate. Coming as no surprise we find out that Sawyer told Kate to take care of his daughter when she left the Island. Somewhat surprising was that Kate spilled the entire Oceanic story to her. Way to go Kate. Not happy with just telling one person she later tells Claire's mom the whole thing too and leaves Aaron with her. I guess the only real nugget we got out of the Kate flashbacks was that she didn't go back to the Island for Sawyer she went back to find Claire. Which is a relief cause Sawyer is much better off with Juliet.
- The chances of Aaron growing up to be a regular well adjusted kid are starting to look pretty grim. Born on the Island, mom abandons him, surrogate mom abandons him, and now he's left with his grandmother who he's never met before. Plus the kid can't even decide if he wants chocolate milk or a juice box. Always get the chocolate milk man! As for the fortune teller who told Claire to not let him get raised by another that's totally gotten messed up. He's been raised by 3 different people thus far.
- The Hurley/Miles conversation on time travel was great. Any show that can reference Back to the Future immediately gets like +10 points in my book. Hurley did bring up the big question that everyone was thinking - if Lil' Ben got shot by Sayid why didn't adult Ben remember the guy torturing him was the same guy that shot him? And by the end of the episode we knew why, how nice of the writers.
- Some might call Jack a heartless bastard for not moving to save Ben and I might be inclined to agree. Jack before he got off the Island would have totally let Lil' Ben die but now that Jack's back on the Island he seems to be at peace with the idea of fate which he was totally against previously. He has come to the conclusion that he was fighting against the Island and now he's finally just going to step back and let the Island do what it will with him which is an interesting character change. I like it. Much better than Always Yelling Jack.
- Ironically Jack's decision to not operate on Lil' Ben directly leads to him become the Ben we all know and love today. Because he doesn't operate Kate and Sawyer have to take him to the Others. The Others will fix him but at a price: Ben won't remember anything (thus explaining why he didn't remember Sayid shooting him), he'll always be an Other now (thus being the inside man to take down Dharma), and finally he'll lose his innocence (thus becoming the heartless manipulator). Jack's inaction just proving that whatever happened, happened and making sure Ben stays Ben.
- Jack's apparently dickheadery seems to have really pissed of Juliet and Sawyer going to help Kate because Juliet wanted him to puts that whole love quadrangle in a good place. Sawyer and Juliet look like they're going to stick together, good. I like the new clam leader Sawyer.
- Not sure how the Others healing Lil' Ben effects my theory that Ben grows up to love Juliet because she saved his life. Maybe once they bring him back that's what they tell him? That or my theory is blown out of the water.
- Where does Richard take Ben to save his life? The mysterious Temple from whence the Black Smoke emits and where Danielle's team of Frenchies went into. I wonder if it is the Temple itself that "infects" the French guys. Once they went in they became Others. By what process and to what extent I do not know but I'm thinking they got some directive from the Temple to do something with/to Danielle and obviously she didn't want to do. Probably involving the baby.
- Speaking of Richard what is his position within the Others? There was mention of him running the whole Lil' Ben situation by Elle (Daniel's mom) and Charles (Widmore). Last time we saw them back in the '50s they weren't anything but little soldiers in the Others army now they seem to have risen to a position where they should be consulted. Richard, ever the badass, says he doesn't answer to them and goes ahead with saving Lil' Ben. Thus beginning the process that will eventually eject Widmore off the Island.
- A nice end to the episode with Ben waking up to find a living John Locke hovering over him. Ben's look of shock, I think, was manufactured. I'm of the opinion that he knew that Locke would come back to life once he was back on the Island. If you'll recall my brief religious connection back when Ben killed Locke - Ben knew Locke wouldn't come back to life if he killed himself (suicide being a mortal sin) so Ben killed him fully knowing that once he got Locke's body to the Island he would be resurrected.
- Next week looks mind blowingly awesome: Ben's judgment by the Island. Make sure to wear a hat so that when your head explodes your brains will be kept centrally located.

Lil' Lost

2009-03-29T19:26:00.000-04:00

It could happen!

The Tao of Sayid

2009-03-26T13:48:00.003-04:00

This week was all Sayid and Ben and their crazy Three’s Company like relationship. But replace Mr. Roper with a bunch of killing.

- First of all we get to the bottom of why Sayid and Ben’s relationship went south, Ben pretty much used Sayid to kill everyone he needed killed and then left him out to dry. Sayid now found himself without anything left to do and lacking direction in life and while Ben was probably willing to give him an excellent reference contract killing really isn’t a skill most employers are looking for today so Sayid joined up with Habitat for Humanity to live his days peacefully making houses in third world countries. That is until Ben shows up again and tells him Locke was killed and Hurley was being watched by Widmore. At which point Sayid didn’t fall for Ben’s manipulations this time and told him to shove it. Or at least he thought he wasn’t being manipulated and yet he then went on to do pretty much everything Ben needed done to get back to the Island.

- Llana the bounty hunter? Totally stuck on Sayid’s trail by Ben to make sure he was on the plane when he needed to be. Sayid had killed bunches of people for Ben and was never even suspected of one of them and then all of a sudden the dude who he killed on the golf course’s family puts a bounty on his head? There’s only one guy who knew that Sayid killed him and that was Ben. And how appropriate she needed to bring him to Guam on the very same flight as everyone else.

- Now comes the interesting stuff – Sayid shoots young Ben and escapes off into the jungle. Now if we were using the Faraday method of time travel then at the point Sayid shot him present Ben would remember that Sayid was the guy that shot him just like when Faraday met Desmond in the Swan. But I like to think that Ben’s known all along that Sayid was the same guy that shot him when he was a little kid, from the second he was brought in during season 2. Thus he knew just how much of a “killer” Sayid was, he was cold enough to blast a 10 year old kid who helped him escape. Unfortunately Sayid didn’t hear Faraday’s speech about not being able to change what happened so it’s pretty obvious that Ben’s going to live which leads me to this week’s Crazy Lost Theory™: Ben’s life is saved by Juliet an act which will make adult Ben want her to be his. Recall when Juliet first came to the Island people mentioned that she “looked like her”. Her being the woman who saved kid Ben from a gunshot wound!

- Now how does getting shot by what he thought was a Hostile effect young Ben’s conception of them? Obviously he’s not turned off to them forever because he’ll eventually gas them all but surely the kid can’t be all gung ho about joining them now that he’s been on the receiving end of one of their cap bustin’s. Will he go pro-Dharma for a little bit?

- For those of who were wondering, the book young Ben gave Sayid that he said he had read twice already was A Separate Reality is a supposedly non-fiction book that catalogs an apprenticeship with an Indian sorcerer in the author’s attempt to learn how to “see” the energy of the universe. Perhaps paralleling an apprenticeship between Ben and Jacob?

- God I can’t stand how they’re trying to set up Kate v. Juliet for Sawyer’s love. But I do like the completely hands off approach Jack has taken. It’s almost like he got to the Island, saw he was in the past, and said “fuck it - yes, Sawyer I’ll be a workman and let you lead”. But secretly I think he’s just biding his time until things get really bad and he’ll take over again. “Suck it Sawyer” he’ll say and then to add insult to injury he’ll show him the photo album from his and Kate’s wedding.

- Radinzsky SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT YOUR STUPID MODEL! Nobody cares.

- Drugged up Sayid = awesome. I’m from the future.

Until next time Losties.

Go Dawgs, Sic Em!

2009-03-18T22:03:00.003-04:00

With the inclusion of the University of Georgia into the Lost lexicon tonight this show has officially become The Greatest Show Ever. For those of you who are blind Sawyer brought Hurley a sweatshirt with my beloved Georgia Bulldawg on it. Good stuff in this episode for those of you who can remember things from earlier seasons, if you can't....well at least you have me here to fill you in.

- The mysterious runway that Frank was able to land the plane on, where did that come from? Ben had it constructed back in season 3! Remember, Sawyer and Kate we sent to move and chop up rocks to create a runway? The question is, how does Ben come to know that he has to built a runway so that the plane he'll eventually crash on lands relatively safe allowing him to survive?
- I couldn't understand the name that that woman said when Ceasar woke her up after the plane crash but knowing Lost I'm sure its fairly important.
- We finally get to meet the often mentioned but never seen Radzinsky. You'll remember him as Kelvin's former partner in the Swan hatch who Kelvin tells Desmond blew his own head off when the pressures of the Swan become too much for him. Back in 1977 he's alive, quite an asshole, and working on designing what will eventually become the Swan.
- Horace and Amy's child? None other than everyone's favorite fake Canadian Ethan Rom. Just as we suspected.
- There's some sort of connection between the whispers and the weird "animal" in the woods that happened right before Frank and Sun ran into Christian. Is it somehow part of how he manifests himself?
- Speaking of which, what was up with Othersville? It had trappings of 70s era Dharma but if my runway link from above is correct they're actually in present day 2009. Did crossing over from the Hydra island to the main island did they timeshift?
- Why's Phil so untrusting? Maybe I just don't like him because he plays an asshole on Mad Men...
- I really don't like how they're setting up Jack vs. Sawyer Part II. Can't they all just get along? And for the love of God don't bring Kate and Sawyer back together, lame!

Be Part of Lost!

2009-03-18T10:09:00.000-04:00

TVGuide is reporting that Lost is going to allow the fans to think up the name for this season's finale. Previous finales were called "Bagel", "Callah", "Snake in the Mailbox", and "Frozen Donkey Wheel".

I'm submitting "The Cheeky Dr. Marvin Candle".

But Does It Have 4 Butts?

2009-03-05T09:41:00.002-05:00

Well this episode was kind of a filler episode. Not always the most exciting but certainly necessary for plot development. Damn Dancing With the Stars to hell for having a 2 hour premier next week and taking Lost away from us. I thought the whole reason they started in January was so that they could run uninterrupted. Blast!

- Sawyer and Co were blasted waaaay back with the Locke/Well timeshift. So far that our pal the Four Toed Statue was visible over the treeline. Too bad we could only see its ass, I bet if we had seen its face it'd be none other than Richard Alpert.
- Sawyer really progressed in the 3 years with Dharma from the self loathing con man to respectable member of Dharma. Head of Security even. Perhaps he was on the fast track due to some collusion between him and Richard? I'm sure that the conversion they had on the bench was just the first of many.
- Speaking of Richard, apparently the sonic fence does nothing to him or the other Hostiles. So it is only effective against non-Hostiles and the Smoke Monster. What drives this sonic immunity amongst them?
- So the whole Paul/Amy/Horace love triangle was only there to give Sawyer a chance to say 3 years is more than enough time to forget somebody. Here he is now, 3 years post Kate, in love with Juliet and can't even remember Kate's face. I find that believable. What I don't find believable, and what will probably happen, is that Sawyer is going to immediately forget Juliet and want Kate back. Kate, a girl he's really only known for like 100 days or so (however long they had been on the Island), versus Juliet who he's now known for 3 years. Boo!
- Did anyone else notice that Jin was looking at Daniel weird every time the two of them were together? What was up with that? Was it just cause Daniel seems to have lost it or is there something else?
- RE: Daniel - so he's kinda taken Charlotte's death hard. Now he's trying to convince himself not to tell her never to come back to the Island but deep down he knows he's going to tell her because what happened can't be changed. Also - in the 3 years the rest of the crew integrated into Dharma what did Daniel do? We know he makes it to the Orchid Station construction at some point but he didn't seem to be part of Sawyer's security team with Jin and Miles.
- I want to know more about The Truce between Dharma and the Hostiles! Apparently Dharma can't kill any Hostiles. But then again the Hostiles had already killed Paul so are they exempt or would Horace have been able to yell at Richard for breaking the Truce. And dead bodies, there's something important about them. Richard wanted to get his people's bodies and took Paul's body as payment. And Amy called Paul's body "it" before calling him Paul. We know that not all dead bodies stay dead on the Island (see Locke, John and Sheppard, Christian).
- I wonder if Sawyer and Company invent the whole "quarantine" thing knowing that Ben is going to eventually gas all of Dharma in efforts to save some Dharma people?
- So Jack and the rest of the Oceanic 6 get 3 years in the present off Island while Sawyer and Co get 3 years in the past (1971 - 1974, good times!).
- What the hell happened to Bernard and Rose?! They've definitely got to be the skeletons in the cave from season 1. They got tired of that time skipping shit and ended up dying in a cave.
- Who does Horace and Amy's son end up being I wonder. Born in 1974 means he'll be 30 about when the Losties first crash on the Island.

I Reiterate - My F**king Tibia!!!!!!!!

2009-02-26T16:54:00.001-05:00

Lost is awesome - I know it, you know it, the whole damn world knows it. Onward to discussion!

- Casesar is certainly a Widmore plant. He took a bunch of maps of the Island plus a sawed off shotgun and then hid that fact (rather easily, he must be a professional) from Ilana. In the future I’m betting we’ll see him lobbying Locke to kill Ben. If he doesn’t try it himself.
- Since Widmore has a camera set up in the middle of Tunisia does that mean he really was spit out by the Island by turning the Wheel? On one hand I think no because there didn’t seem to be any camera there when Ben got spat out but on the other hand I think that Ben knowing that Widmore knew where he’d get spit out would explain why he went ballistic on those two dudes on horseback when he turned the Wheel.
- Even though Widmore claims he was the leader of the Others I’m still convinced he wasn’t. No doubt he thought he should be the leader of the Others but I don’t think Jacob or Richard were having any of that. And if he really was exiled from the Island forcibly then I’m guessing it was cause he tried a little Others coup.
- How did Widmore know that Ben had already tried to kill Locke once back in season 4 when he shot him in the back? He wasn’t on the Island when it happened. None of his Frieghter people saw it. Was he merely guessing or perhaps Sun leaked some information to him post getting off the Island.
- So Sayid’s falling out with Ben was because of the 2 years of working for Ben that he thought was protecting the people on the Island went afoul. Still not a concrete answer, but Lost never gives those does it?
- Abaddon knew that Walt was Michael’s son, showing more proof that Widmore knows more about the Losties than originally thought. He’s probably got big folders full of information just like Ben had on all the other Losties.
- I wonder if Helen’s death was just staged by Widmore to keep Locke on track. It wouldn’t be the first death staged by him, the fake Oceanic 815 at the bottom of the sea ring any bells? And the fact that Abaddon “gets people where they need to be” for Widmore. Widmore needed Locke to get back to the Island and he might be less inclined to do so if the love of his life was still alive.
- I like that Jack still was dismissing everything as coincidence when in the previous episode he finally acknowledges that perhaps fate is driving them. I wonder if the night that Locke visited him was the same night that he saw Christian in the hospital. I don’t remember if he had a beard or not at that point…
- So the big shocker of the night: Locke doesn’t commit suicide, Ben kills him! I think Ben originally came to Locke looking for information, not to kill him. But as soon as he heard about Eloise Hawking it was all over for Locke. Did Ben not know about her until that night? Did he figure he’d kill Locke off Island since apparently on Island Locke can’t be killed (see Exhibit A - Ben shooting Locke in back). He’s in for an interesting wakeup call when he finds out that yes he’s back on the Island but Locke is alive, and hopefully, finally, ready to put Ben in his place. Maybe it’s Lent getting to me but I also had this thought: given Ben’s speech about Thomas the Apostle last week could he have gone to kill Locke so that he could get to the Island with a “clean” soul? Catholics believe that suicide is a mortal sin….so if he killed himself he wouldn’t have been able to be resurrected on the Island! Locke is Jesus!
- Brief cameo appearance by Taller Walt. He’s still seeing the future! When will they bite the bullet and bring him back full time? I refuse to believe that we’re done with him, not by a long shot!
- For those not following: while Jack, Hurley, and Kate landed on the Island the rest of the plane (and apparently Sun, Ben, Locke, and Frank) landed on the Hydra Island off the coast of the Island. When Locke was told that “the pilot and some woman” left in an outrigger that was Frank and Sun. Duh! That conveniently gets an outrigger and at least one bottle of Air Ajirha water over to the Island for Sawyer and Company to find while they’re flashing back and forth through time. It doesn’t mean that Frank and Sun are the people in the outrigger who eventually follow Sawyer and Company and start shooting at them. I’m pretty sure once they get to the Island they go in search of Jin.
- Obvious question: how come Jack, Hurley, and Kate get the magic time teleport safely to the Island while Sun, Locke, Ben, and Frank have to do the hard landing? And are the two groups even in the same time as each other? I’m betting no. I think those on Hydra are in present time and those on Island are in the 70s. I have no basis for this other than gut feeling and that it’d be too easy of a reunion for Sun and Jin if they just walked into each other in the jungle.
- Where the hell is Sayid?! Island or Hydra!?

I Served No Purpose In This Episode

2009-02-19T18:09:00.002-05:00

First of all, make sure you take a look at the picture in the post below this one. If you don’t smile upon seeing that then you are dead inside. Secondly – Lost continues to be the awesomest show on TV. Read on to find out why:

Pretty much everything took place off island this week (or above island towards the end) so no break down of On/Off Island.

The explanation of how they get back to the Island was sort of weak, but I really can’t think of a better method of getting to the Island so I guess I can’t complain. Basically the Lamp Post was created for the specific purpose of finding the Island and with it they can approximately determine the time and place of the Island. The trick is just getting to that point at the right time. Of course we have to ask who the hell was this guy that Mrs. Hawking said figured out all the math on finding the Island? Is it Velenzetti? He’s been referenced before. Also for our Oceanic 6 the more like their original trip to the Island the better. Thus we have:

o Hurley with a guitar that surely must have belonged to one Charlie Pace, but how’d he know to get to the plane? He was in jail when all the Lamp Post business went down. Was it Ben? No! I think it was the ghost of Charlie who told him he had to go.

o Jack outfitting Locke with some Christian Sheppard Chucks

o Sayid coming in handcuffs with a Federal Agent a’la Kate. The same Fed might I add that got to him way back in season 1 to infiltrate that terrorist circle with the promise that she’d tell him where Nadia was living. Sayid, same as Hurley, how’d he know to get on that plane?

o Here’s a stretch theory, Kate jumped Jack’s bones the night before because she wanted to get pregnant to fulfill the Claire role.

So before we jump to the airport lets cover Ben’s mysterious ass kicking. I think it’s pretty safe to assume his unfinished business was the whole “killing Penny” thing. Where does he make his bloody phone call to Jack from? A marina. Who just recently arrived in LA via a boat? Desmond and Penny. But did Ben succeed in killing Penny or did he get his ass handed to him by Desmond? I’m thinking that he did kill her which will give Desmond reason to go back to the Island.

Oh one more thing before the airport – what’d Kate do with Aaron? Did she smother him in his sleep? That’d certainly make Kate one cold ass bitch. But no, I think she left him in the hands of Sawyer’s ex-lover and mother of his daughter Clementine.

Now the airport. The gang’s all here. Plus we have mysterious guy who talks to Jack at the counter to offer him his condolences. This is Lost so he’s no random airline loving patron, he’s there for a reason. Most likely in the employ of one Charles Widmore and tasked with finding the Island. Once on the plane we get to see our good friend Frank Lepedus looking much more Lawnmower Man like without the beard. I wonder what he was thinking once he got back to the cockpit knowing that some sort of crazy shit was going to happen to his plane. I bet he started drinking those little airline bottles of booze like he had some weird disease that made his wang shrink and the booze was the only medicine that could stop it.

So the inevitable happens; shit goes down on the airplane, the time travely flash happens and our heroes are back on the Island. We know the whereabouts of Jack, Kate, and Hurley but Sayid, Sun, Ben, Lepedus, Federal Agent, and Widmore Plant Guy are MIA. Oh and John Locke’s body (which we know from next week’s previews comes back to life). What happened to the plane? Did it crash or did they get peacefully transported to the Island via the flash since they’ve been there before?

At the very end of the episode they get their bearings and start moving out only to run into Dharma Jin! We’re in the 70s baby! We know that Jin and Daniel have infiltrated Dharma by this time but no word about Sawyer, Juliet, and Miles. I’m thinking they split into 2 groups – one for Dharma and one for The Others. Does Locke come back to life because they’re now in a time before he died? Time travel is confusin’!

And what about the mysterious Air Ajirha water bottle in the outrigger of 2 episodes ago? Is that from as of not seen survivors of the crash? Is that from our heroes who for some reason in the future want to blast Sawyer and crew? Or maybe its Widmore Plant Guy and some more Widmore Cronies?
Discuss!

Intermission

2009-02-19T11:56:00.002-05:00

Won't update the blog till later - in the meantime enjoy this wonderous picture. Writing by Mike, Graphics by Trey.

My F#%king Tibia!!!!

2009-02-12T21:49:00.004-05:00

Ah Lost, you never disappoint. Another fantastic episode in an overall fantastic season. Why can't all TV be this awesome?

Off Island
- Not too much going on off island except Ben being his awesome self and the Oceanic 6 being whiny bitches. It was interesting to see the look on Ben's face when Desmond told him he was at the church to see Faraday's mother. It was the kind of look that said "oh snap, I didn't know she was Daniel's mother", which would be big for Ben because he prides himself on knowing everything.
- Locke did some nice work as well getting around his promise to Jin not to bring Sun back to the island. Instead he comes to Ben, gives him Jin's wedding ring, and lets Ben do what he does best - manipulate.
- For like the 5 week in a row we see that Sayid has some serious angst against Ben. What could it be?!
- Ben's been protecting the Oceanic 6 from the efforts of Widmore, how nice. Surely not because he cared about them, more because they're his ticket back to the Island. Plus he hates Widmore, bonus!
- Why was Mrs. Hawking seemingly cool with Ben when he showed up with just four people instead of all of them when a couple episodes ago she was all about all of them going back.
- Looks like Desmond could be stuck going back to the Island as well...

On Island
- So much good stuff going on here. First of all we get to see the black smoke again. And second of all it confirms all the stuff Danielle tells Sayid when he first meets her. "Nadine was first to die", check. "Montrau lost an arm", check. And we get to see the mysterious Temple for the first time. The Temple, which you might remember, Ben told Danielle to take Alex and where the Others were hiding out.
- After Jin's mini-flash we get to see Danielle kill Robert just like she told Sayid. The curious thing is that Robert seemed to know a whole lot about the black smoke by this point. Its a security system for the Temple he says. Is he really crazy with the sickness or was it Danielle who had gone insane? He did seem to pull his trigger pretty easily given that he was trying to shoot his lover and mother of his unborn child. Man I hope they revisit this.
- I used to think Christian was just a shape that Jacob was taking to communicate with people and the actual Christian was long dead but this week made me change my mind. When he tells Locke "say hi to my son" that's straight Christian Sheppard, not something Jacob would say.
- Did Ben move the Wheel knowing that John was supposed to do it? Was he doing it in an attempt to get back into Jacob's good graces or is he actually playing his own game. One outside of what destiny/Jacob has planned for the Island. I wouldn't put it past him. Ben isn't the kind of guy to serve anyone, even some weird Island ghost spirit.
- So now that Locke has righted the Wheel and, if his theory was correct, stopped the time flashes then the Losties are stuck in some past time not present. I wonder when the well Locke went down was originally dug since after the flash there was nothing but earth above him.
- Charlotte, as she got closer and closer to death, started to exhibit symptoms very similar to that Theresa girl that Faraday left in Oxford after an experiment gone bad.
- For those of you who can't follow time travel and are asking "why would Charlotte remember Daniel warning her not to come back to the Island if he doesn't remember it?". That is because Daniel hasn't travelled back into the past to warn her yet, thus he doesn't remember. But he will travel back because we saw him at the Orchid's original construction. His love for Charlotte will cause him to try and warn her to not come back but he should know the laws of time travel won't allow that. If he warns her and she doesn't come back than he won't have to warn her not to come back because she won't be dying on the Island. It'd be a paradox. Also, guess I was wrong about Daniel being Charlotte's father. Oh well. Win some, lose some.
- I'm guessing the Losties are now trapped in the 70s, back when Dharma was still in power and just before they started digging the Orchid station. Does that mean that the Oceanic 6, when they return to the Island, will come into the 70s as well?

The Comedic Stylings of Sayid

2009-02-06T10:08:00.001-05:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Your Nose Might Bleed By The End of This Post

2009-02-05T09:30:00.004-05:00

Several interesting turns of events this week but all around it was more of a set up episode. Next week should really blow our brain bananas!

Off Island
- Ben once again shows why he's the greatest manipulator in the history of manipulation. Not only does he hire a lawyer to draw out Kate but he gets a guy to attack Sayid in the hospital and plants Kate's address in his pocket to ensure that Jack will go get her. Ben is freaking awesome.
- Man I really want to know what the falling out is between Ben and Sayid! Sayid is totally against Ben getting to Hurley. Why!??!
- Everything is all set up for the Oceanic 6 to be together next week. Will Ben be able to convince Sun not to pop a cap in his ass? I'm guessing hell yes.

On Island
- Here's where the real crazy shit went down! The Losties time travel back to the first season. Locke sees the light from the Hatch that gave him hope and Sawyer gets to see his beloved Kate again.
- The big question, for me, from this episode is who the people on the outriggers are. Has a mysterious third faction come onto the scene? What's up with the Ajira Airways water bottle? Given the destroyed camp and missing Zodiac I propose that the Losties have now flashed forward in time past the initial Island move from season 4.
- And look who isn't dead, Jin! That gives Ben a huge playing card with his dealings with Sun. But how does Ben know that Jin is alive? A skillful bluff that just happens to be true or something more interesting? Another observation - Jin is jumping in time in different directions that the rest of the Losties. He went backwards to when Danielle crashed whereas the Losties jumped forward post-Island Move. That is assuming the scenes they showed were in order.
- And look who Jin is hanging out with - Danielle and her Frenchie crew. Now we know why they could so easily kill her off last season without telling us her whole story, we're going to get to see it go down from the beginning! How does the rest of her crew really die? What is the "sickness"? Although, I wonder why she didn't recognize Jin the in the present if she met him in the past...
- Time Travel Sickness starts to claim another two people: Juliet and Miles. Daniel hypothesizes that time on Island causes the Sickness. Juliet has been there for a while but what about Charlotte and Miles? Charlotte we learned last season is apparently from the island but Miles......could he be Dr. Chang's baby we saw in the season opener?!
- Speaking of parentage...could it be that the reason Daniel loves Charlotte is because....wait for it...he is her father?! We know he's jumped into the past from the opener flashback involving the construction of the Orchid and his doting seems more fatherly than I wanna bang ya.

Prepare To Have Your Dick Blown Off

2009-02-03T12:15:00.001-05:00

Their Leader Is A Sodding Old Man!

2009-01-29T09:07:00.004-05:00

Big revelation this week! No coverage of the Oceanic 6 but my main man Desmond does some searching. Lets do this thing!

Off Island
- Desmond and Penny must have conceived their kid like on the boat the night she rescued him cause that kid looks older than 3 to me. And I totally knew he'd be named Charlie the second he was born. The duality of the name is clear - Charlie the rock god who drowned and Charles the cranky old man who wants the Island.
- So it looks like Daniel's experiments in sending people's brains through time sorta worked on the Theresa chick. She hasn't died like the Frighties that suffered the Time Sickness near the Island so there's some sort of difference between Daniel's manufactured Time Sickness and the Island Time Sickness. She just lives in a vegitative state occasionally snapping out of it to think she's 3. The real questions from this are: 1) what is her relation to Daniel that would make her willingly participate in this experiment 2) why Daniel bolted to America after it happened 3) why's Widmore keeping her alive. Is the sickness Teresa is suffering from the very sickness that Charlotte has? Is that why Daniel knows the symptoms?
- So Daniel's mother is totally the Mrs. Hawkins that Ben visited in the previous episode. Now that we know she's in Los Angeles it is confirmed.
- Does Widmore realize how important Desmond is to the Island? He seems to still look at him as the loser his daughter shacked up with.

On Island
- The big reveal this week was the Charles Widmore was at one time an Other. Totally explains his claim to the Island now. I wonder if he was an original Island inhabitant Other or if he was shipped in like Juliet. And I bet that he thought he was going to assume leadership of the Others until Ben dropped in on the scene and took it from him. My crazy theory - for some reason Widmore will have to visit the Frozen Donkey Wheel and move the Island, thus ejecting him from the Island which is why he is looking for it now and why he can't get back. Yeah, that's some quality theorizing there.
- Locke didn't shot Widmore while he was running away because "he's one of my people". Yeah that's a nice thing to say but that isn't why he couldn't shoot him. He couldn't shoot him because of the laws of time - if he killed Widmore in 1950 he wouldn't be around in 2008 to send the Frieghties to the Island. My knowledge of time travel is exceptional!
- "Their leader is a sodding old man!", ah Widmore if you only knew how awesome Locke is. Face!
- The Blonde Other chick, she said "you just couldn't stay away" to Daniel when she captured him. Does that mean she's seen him before or was she just saying it in a general sense as in "you US military guys just couldn't stay away"? And why does Daniel think she looks familiar? Could she be.....his mother?!?!?!? Crazy theory #2.
- So the Dharma Initiative evolves from the current US military presence on the Island.
- How old is Richard? Does he have 4 toes like the statue from season 2?
- Now we know why Richard has been tracking Locke since he was born, Locke told him to in 1950! Richard showed up at the hospital when Locke was a baby, then he showed up when he was a kid to test him and got all pissed off when he picked the knife over the compass, then he sent Abbadon to talk to him after his back got broken.
- Charlotte, while ending this episode on the ground bleeding out, was apparently ok in the trailer for next week's episode. Does Daniel know how to fix what's going on with her? Why didn't he do it for Theresa?
- The H Bomb - will it show up again in the present? Or was it involved in the mysterious Incident that Dr. Marvin Candle/Chang/Haliwax mentioned in the Swan Station video?

There's some starting points - now discuss!

Kimmel Looks For Answers

2009-01-24T19:44:00.000-05:00

I Love My Shih Tzu

2009-01-22T10:23:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh, Lost is back. Back with a furious vengeance! We've got crazy ass time travel and hot pockets sailing through the air willy nilly. My body was tense the entire 2 hour premier drinking up Lost's mysteries like sweet sweet booze. Only the mysteries didn't get me drunk nor did they leave me with a hangover the next day, only a feeling of wanting more. So maybe it was more like heroine. Anyways, lets get into the plot!

For simplicity's sake lets break this up between the Off Island and On Island Folks.

On Island
- Locke: why'd he get separated from the Others when the time jump occured? He gets to witness the crash of Yemi's plane, is this why he could later have a vision about it to find it originally (originally being a relative term since technically he already saw it when he found it...time travel is fun!). Also - Locke is back to being a bad ass with a knife saving Sawyer and Juliet from the mysterious Dharma troops?

- Richard: when he met up with Locke he had been sent there by another version of Locke. My guess is time travelin' John shows up in Richard's past to tell him about the gun shot he was going to get in the future so Richard would know where to find him to help him. Also, Richard said that while John moved the Others didn't go anywhere. Are the original inhabitants of the Island immune to the time skips? Note that Richard gave Locke a compass, one of the original items Richard showed young Locke last season when testing him for their "special school". If I recall correctly it was the item that Locke didn't pick, instead he picked the knife which then pissed off Richard. And he told Locke that he had to die to save the Island...is future Locke really dead or is he in a coma...similar to the deathlike coma everyone's favorite extra's Paulo and Nikki went into when bitten by a spider...

- Faraday: he's going to be very important this season I believe what with his knowledge of time travel and his Dharma journal. He knows Charlotte is starting to come down with the same disconnect time travel sickness that Desmond and Minkowski came down with, where is she going to find her constant? Perhaps on the Island as that, if we remember from last season, she is apparently from there. The whole interaction between him and Hatch Desmond is super time travel technical. Since Desmond met Daniel in the past, back when he was jumping around time and met Daniel in Oxford, he can now met Daniel again at the Hatch. And now just like in The Constant Daniel's conscious caught up with him after sending Desmond to meet him at Oxford (when he noticed that he had written "Desmond Hume is my constant") Desmond's conscious caught up with him off Island remembering that Daniel had told him to go find his mother. Who's Daniel's mother? Top candidate - old lady Hawkins. The chick Ben talks to at the end of the episode. Who you may also remember is the lady that told Desmond not to buy the ring for Penny and was in a picture with the monk who fired Desmond from being a monk. She certainly shares Daniel's passion for time, but she has an English accent whereas his is all nervous American. Also is this time traveling the reason that last season when we first met Daniel he was crying for a reason he couldn't understand when he saw the news coverage of 815 being found? AND! What was he doing in the past at the construction of the Orchid station? I think he's there to fix the time jumping problem and we'll find out in a later episode.

-Dr. Chang aka Dr. Robert Halowax ake Dr. Marvin Candle: What are the "rules" he talks about down in the Orchid? Are they the same rules Ben and Widmore have to follow or are those more of a gentleman's arrangement whereas Chang's are physical laws? And we still don't know how he loses his arm, I thought for sure he'd lose it in some accident down there. And the worker being taken out - exhibiting the same nose bleed symptoms of the time sickeness.

- Miles: he can talk to the dead. Did he use that to find the dead boar?

- Mysterious attackers: Are the the Others from the past who hated Dharma enough to kill them all? I think so, flaming arrows are totally their style. So the arrows lead them into the jungle where they get stopped by some Dharma guys. I think they're in the time of around when Ben initially got to the Island judging by the state of the Dharma/Others war.

- Frogurt: alas poor Frogurt, I mean Neal, we knew you...well, not so well.

Off Island
- Sayid: is he with Ben or against him now? Last time we saw him he was on Ben's side as a personal assassin and now he's telling Hurley to do the opposite of whatever Ben says? Plus once he finally wakes up from his drug coma he panics to find out that Ben knows where Hurley is. Had he gone rogue and picked up Hurley to keep him from Ben?

- Kate: who's behind the lawyers sent to Kate? Widmore or Ben? I think its a plot by Ben to draw her out, get her freaked out, and thus make her more open to returning to the Island. Or maybe it was Sun? She did seem to arrive in LA a little too conveniently.

- Sun: does she really want to kill Ben or is she playing Widmore to find the Island again? One thing is for sure I totally don't believe her when she said she didn't blame Kate for Jin's death.

- Ben: was the lady in the butcher shop an off Island Other or just one of his lackies with no Island background? And who were the people she mentioned having checked in? Where is he in regards to his mission to kill Penny? Is that why Sayid stopped working for him? Ben told him to kill Penny? Why does he only have 70 hours to get everyone back to the Island? And what is the horrible outcome if he doesn't? "God help us all" sounds pretty dire Mrs. Hawkins. What was in the mysterious box he pulled out of the air vent in the hotel?

- Frank: where is he now, why did he seem a bit "off" back on the boat, and what was that beer he was drinking because I want some!

Ok, there goes my first brain download. Discuss!