The End

After six years of the best television I’ve ever watched LOST is finally over. Like many series finales this one has sparked “vigorous” debate on whether it was good, great, or a total cop out. I, for one, think it was a good ending. A couple more answers would have made it great but for the most part it was a satisfying end to a great show.

On Island – Jack Attack

Jack, now infused with Island Protector magic, begins his plan to kill Evil Locke. He sends Sawyer off to get Desmond “The Weapon” Hume and the rest of his merry band proceeds to the Island’s Golden Cave o’ Magic.

Meanwhile Desmond wakes up in the sprawling palatial estate of Bernard and Rose (and Vincent). They broke their isolationist rules and got him out of the well but now he needs to leave cause it’s 11am and that’s the time Bernard and Rose get it on. But Desmond’s departure is too late! Evil Locke has found him and threatens to painfully kill his rescuers unless he goes with him. Even though Rose says don’t Desmond heads off with him and Ben.

At the same time Sawyer has found the well but found it to be empty. He hustles back to Jack and crew to warn them. It’s cool says Jack then Evil Locke, Desmond, and Ben join them. What hell – lets all go to the magic cave together! Protector Jack is starting to feel a little cocky bringing Evil Locke right where he wants to go.

At the entrance to the magic cave Evil Locke says that only he, Desmond, and Jack should go and that everyone else has to wait. Sure why not listen to the crazy evil smoke guy.

Jack and Evil Locke’s conversation while they lower Desmond down the waterfall is awesome.

“You do realize I’m going to destroy this Island Jack?” says Evil Locke.
“You do realize I’m going to kill the shit out of you Evil Locke?” says Jack.
“Oh really? How?”
“It’s a surprise. Bitch.”

Desmond wades into the crazy electromagnetic pool and pulls out the cork (hey the Island WAS a cork!). The golden water drains away and is replaced by an angry red throbbing. Desmond passes out at the base of the waterfall and the whole Island starts losing its shit.

“Told ya so chump!” Evil Locke mockingly says to Jack. PUNCH says Jack. And Evil Locke bleeds. Then he clocks Jack with a rock and heads off to his boat. Jack lays around for a little bit and then his Island Protector Ninja Skills awaken. What proceeds is, in my mind, one of the most epic events in LOST history – Jack and Evil Locke fight. Jack gets a knife to the gut (guess that wasn’t an appendix scar in the Alternaverse) and a cut to his neck (Alternaverse!) as Evil Locke tries to finish him off. But, after six seasons of being completely useless, Kate blasts Evil Locke with the last shot from her rifle. She could have been a little more clever that “I saved one for you” zinger. How about something like “guess you’ve just been…smoked”? Anyways Evil Locke is down for the count and Protector Jack wastes no time giving him the literal boot. Over the cliff. Seems the body of John Locke is always meant to be flung from high places. One problem solved but there is still the little matter of the self destructing Island. Jack, Ben, and Hurley (didn’t trust the ladders I guess) stay on the Island to save it while Kate and Sawyer head off to Desmond’s old boat to get over to Hydra island and the plane.
Back on Hydra Island Frank (he’s still alive!), Richard, and Miles are working hard on getting said plane flight worthy. I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I’d trust that plane to fly me across the Pacific to safety but I guess when you’re on a dying Island anything will do.

Back at the magic cave Jack’s tenure as Island Protector ends as quickly as it began with a dirty bottle of water shared with Hurley and then he’s headed down the waterfall. Down there he finds Desmond’s passed out body and he hooks him up with the rope so he can be pulled up and then he grabs the big stopper and puts it back in its place. The angry red throbbing leaves and the water once again flows, the Island is saved!

Sawyer and Kate make it to Hydra island and hop in the plane just before takeoff. They second guess themselves when they find out the inflight movie is Gigli.
Jack passes out only to waken on a rock in a stream (that’s where Black Shirt’s body was deposited too!). He stumbles through the bamboo forest to the same place he initially woke up after the crash of 815. As he lays down Vincent the dog (or is he God?) lies down with him. His last sight is the Ajirah plane flying over him to safety and then he closes his eyes. Paralleled how it all began - the perfect end.

Alternaverse – Why Oh Why Didn’t I Take the Blue Pill?

Jin and Sun are waiting in the hospital for….Juliet! She shows them that their baby is ok and FLASH they remember their Island life and I get all weepy. Also they now know English. Juliet leaves the room thinking she’s the best f@#king doctor in the world for not only finding the baby but somehow teaching them English in the process. Then she runs into her ex-husband Jack. Not really a big surprise there we were all suspecting it. He gives her tickets to the big concert for their son and new aunt Claire and then he’s off to fix John Locke’s legs.

Sawyer, having been sent to watch over the Kwons, gets to the hospital only to find that they don’t need him. Confused he goes to get an Apollo bar but it gets stuck. Those things NEVER come down on the first try. Juliet shows up to help him and FLASH they both remember their island selves and we find out why Juliet, when she died in the 1st episode this season, was talking about getting coffee together.
Post surgery Jack visits Locke and finds him surprisingly resilient to painkillers. Not only that but he can already move his toes. FLASH! Locke remembers his Island life and he’s back to the fantastic John Locke we all knew and loved. Jack half flashes but stubborn old Jack Sheppard isn’t going to remember things so easily and he leaves.

Hurley makes a brief side trip to pop Charlie with a tranquilizer and then takes Sayid to a bar just in time to see Boone get his ass kicked and Shannon get slapped. What fun! Sayid springs into action and rescues her. FLASH! He remembers his Island life. So does Shannon. Boone already did apparently based on his comments to Hurley. Who would have thought the love of Sayid’s life was really Shannon? The only women more annoying than Kate.

Meanwhile at Widemore’s Concert for the Cure (or something) Daniel starts playing with Drive Shaft and, to be honest, it’s f@#king terrible. Charlie spots Claire in the audience and is smitten. Claire spots Charlie and…goes into labor. Don’t worry Charlie I have that affect on women too. Claire goes backstage followed by Kate and Charlie (who walks off mid set apparently. Guess the bassist isn’t that important). Claire pops out Aaron and FLASH FLASH FLASH all 3 of them remember their Island lives.

Everyone meets up at the church where Jack’s dad’s body was left at the beginning of the episode. Outside the church Ben asks Locke for forgiveness which he grants and Ben thankfully accepts. He then tells Locke he doesn’t need that wheelchair and wouldn’t you know; only hours after surgery, Locke stands up and gives us one of those big Locke grins. Hurley comes out to ask Ben if he was coming inside but Ben declines saying he as a few more things to work out. Hurley says he was a great #2 and Ben says he was a great #1 (alluding to their reign as Protectors of the Island!) then Hurley goes inside.

Kate tracks down Jack at the post-concert and takes him to the church. Jack goes to his father’s coffin and upon touching gets a FLASH. Is he ready to believe? He opens it and….nothing is inside! Behind him his father speaks. How are you here dad you’re dead? How are you here son? I’m dead. BWOANG! FLASH! Everyone in the alternaverse is dead! Yes the alternaverse is a way station the Losties created so they can all meet up before heading on to the next stage of existence. Cue big reunion party complete with banner in the back that says Oceanic 815 Crash of 2004. Christian opens the doors in the back of the church and a bright light fills the screen. The end.

Theoryland (although are they really theories? Maybe more like Explainationland)

- Why’d Desmond pull the cork if it was going to destroy the Island? Cause the magic gold pool was what made Evil Locke immortal. Without it he was made killable but at the same time the Island couldn’t exist without it so it became unstable. So both Jack and Evil Locke won when Desmond pulled it out.

- So did all the events on the Island happen or did they all die in the crash? ALL THE EVENTS ON THE ISLAND WERE REAL! Christian says so himself but for some reason (perhaps due to the shots of the plane crash they showed during the credits) people keep saying “OMG they died in the crash!”. You want more proof? Hurley and Ben’s conversation about being a great team alludes to all the work they did on the Island after Jack put the cork back in. The alternaverse was where all the Losties went after they died. They didn’t all die at once though – some died before Jack and some long after. Since time doesn’t exist in the alternaverse though it seemed like they all arrived there at the same time. So immediately after Jack died in the bamboo forest he woke up in the alternaverse on Oceanic 815. Kate meanwhile escaped the Island and lived out her life and maybe died of old age. At which point she woke up on Oceanic 815 at the same “time” as Jack.

- What about the people in the alternaverse who didn’t go into the church – Ben, Danielle, Alex, Faraday, Faraday’s mother, Widmore, Charlotte, Miles, Ana Lucia, ect. They weren’t ready to progress yet. Some people believe that that meant they still had issues to work out but I don’t agree. I think they weren’t ready to leave because they had all they wanted in the alternaverse and had no reason to leave. Ben had a relationship with Alex again (and the chance to get with Danielle if I’m reading her after dinner flirting correctly). Faraday had a chance to finally get with Charlotte. Faraday’s mom finally got to have time with her son in a place where she wasn’t doomed to kill him. Miles had a relationship with his dad Dr. Changtastic. Ana Lucia, um, she kinda seemed like she got worse. Crooked cop much? Fisher Stevens…just got his script for Short Circuit 3 green lit!

- What about people who didn’t even show up in the alternaverse? Michael, Walt, and Frank? Michael we know was trapped on the Island fated to be a whisper for quite some time although I like to think Protector Hurley eventually freed him of that. Walt had much more of a life off the Island than on the Island. He didn’t have a need for the alternaverse way station. Frank? Honestly I don’t know why Frank was left out. Maybe cause of all the havoc he caused when he was the Lawnmower Man?

- What about Jack’s kid Daniel? In the words of an awoken John Locke “You don’t have a son!”. Daniel was a figment of the alternaverse who’s only purpose was to give Jack perspective on his relationship with his father. Same for all the other extras in the alternaverse. Figments!

- So the alternaverse was purgatory? I don’t think it was purgatory. Purgatory is where you go when your sins aren’t so bad you go directly to hell but bad enough that you have get wait listed for heaven. The alternaverse was more like the loadup room in the Matrix. Everyone met there before going on to heaven/afterlife/whatever you call it. They had already atoned for whatever misdeeds they did they just had such a bond forged on the Island that they wanted to continue to the next life together. Thus they made the alternaverse.

- So the bomb last season did nothing? No, it was what saved the rest of Dharma from the Incident. Without the bomb going off then the electromagnetic energy would have continued to pull down anything and everything metal. It didn’t create a new timeline it played out exactly how it was supposed to play out. In the aftermath the Losties were brought back to their original time.

- So why was the Island in the bottom of the ocean in the alternaverse? The alternaverse represented a place where the Island couldn’t bring the Losties back thus it was at the bottom of the ocean unable to do anything to them.

And so ends LOST. What did you think about the finale? Reactions? Thoughts? Theories? And what mysteries were you disappointed they didn’t solve? In the following weeks I’ll make up best guess answers for them so you can have a little closure.

Blog Update

Sorry folks been really busy this week and haven't been able to organize my thoughts on the finale yet. My quick reaction: the Island end was perfect but I was initially undecided on the sideways end. The more I think about it thought the more I like it so that's good.

I think people's opinion of the finale will be determined on whether they wanted character or mythology closure. If you wanted character closure then you loved the finale. If you wanted more answers on the mythology, of which none was covered with the finale, then you're a little mad.

I was initially drawn to LOST because of all the mysteries but I've grown to really enjoy the characters. Because I enjoyed the characters so much the finale sat well with me. My only complaint would have to be that there will never be any more episodes of LOST again. I guess I'll have to comfort myself with self written Ben & Hurley fanfictions.

Full blog will be available sometime this week. Hopefully.

Why They Died

Can it be? Only 1 episode left of LOST for forever?! I guess I’m a week away from writing LOST fanfiction rather than this blog!

Alternaverse – I Love It When A Plan Comes Together

Jack wakes up and the mystery cut on his neck is larger than it was in the 1st episode of the season. Island Jack doesn’t seem to have the same cut on his neck so what is causing it? Is AlternaJack getting some universe bleed through from future Island Jack? Jack, on island, in the alternate universe, but in the future? Only when dealing with LOST could I write a sentence like that and it not seem too crazy. Maybe Evil Locke will try and slice his neck open in the finale? Anyways, Jack enjoys a gourmet breakfast (Super Oat Bran! Ask for it at your local grocer!) with his son and new half sister then he gets a call – his father’s body has been found!

Only that call was not from Oceanic it was from Man In The Know, Desmond. He’s back at Locke’s school and got his sights set on him and his arrogant wheel chair having ass. But not so fast! Dr. Ben is here to save the day! Only not so much. Desmond beats him so hard he sees Desmond kicking his ass in another universe. Yet Ben is left feeling strangely as peace and he tells Locke that Desmond was there to open his mind up not commit vehicular homicide!

Fresh off his Ben beating Desmond promptly turns himself in to the Detective Sawyer and soon he finds himself with Murderin’ Sayid and Cell Block Kate. Everything’s going according to plan he chuckles to himself.

Meanwhile Locke has given into the machinations of fate and taken Jack up on his offer to fix him. He is finally ready to get out of that wheel chair. Huzzah! Old Locke, Man of Faith, is starting to come back! What will it mean for Evil Locke?

Back at the prison Desmond, Murderin’ Sayid, and Cell Block Kate are going to be moved to county. Calmly Desmond explains to them that they are going to get free and that they are going to have to do something for him. “He’s crazy, just nod” thinks Kate while all Sayid can hear are the voices telling him to kill, kill, kill. Suddenly the van stops and Ana Lucia lets them out. Hurley shows up in his big yellow Hurleymobile and pays her off. Hurley is fully aware of his Island self now, “Oh cool Ana Lucia’s here, is she coming with us?” “No, she’s not ready”. Desmond sends Sayid off with Hurley to a mystery location (to get Sawyer perhaps…) and he and Kate head to the concert where we already know Jack, David, Claire, Charlie, Miles, Dr. Changtastic, Charlotte, Daniel, Penny, Widmore, and Eloise are going to be at. How do I know all this? Because it’s the Drive Shaft concert baby! Desmond pulls on his fingerless gloves, lights up a cigar, and makes like Hannibal from the A-Team – I love it when a plan comes together.

On Island – I Choose You Pikachu

Jack, Kate, Sawyer, and Hurley are left filled with sorrow and hate for Evil Locke. They’ve got to kill him they just don’t know how. Desmond is the key Jack says and they’re off! Enroute Lil’ Jacob shows up and demands Hurley give him his ashes and then he bolts. Surprisingly Hurley catches up with him and Lil’ Jacob has grown up to regular Jacob. The rest of the gang shows up and surprisingly they can see Jacob too. Then we GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING ANSWERS!

Jacob brought them all to the Island to fix this mistake he made thousands of years ago by tossing his brother into the magic cave. Not only that but they were picked cause they all had pretty shitty lives. The Island needed them but they needed the Island. I would say he’s pretty spot on with that. While their lives aren’t the greatest; the Island certainly has made them better people. Now one of them has to take over as Protector and it has to be willingly; not like what his mother did to him. Although he is kinda railroading them by saying bad things will happen if nobody does. Jack, completing his transformation from a man of science to a man of faith (or perhaps a hybrid of both), says he’ll do it.

Jacob takes him to a stream, utters some Latin, and has him drink. Bam – he’s been Protector’d! Was it just me or was there was a look in Jack’s eyes of a rush knowledge hitting him? Now he’s off to the magic cave to protect it. A cave which apparently was very close to where he was originally spat out onto the Island. Does that mean he was intended to be the Protector all along?

On Island – My Glock Goes Pop, Pop, Pop

We finally get back to the adventures of Miles, Ben, and Richard. They just reached Dharmaville. Miles walks over Alex’s grave and hears something strange but we aren’t privy to it (could be important?) and then we are in Ben’s secret room o’ suits and C4. Just then they hear a rustling in the kitchen. Apparently Zoe was hungry for a snack. Then Widmore joins them and Ben gets really agitated.

They posture a little and then Zoe reports that Evil Locke is here. Ben gives them a place to hide and he and Richard go out to meet him. Miles runs. Fast. Where to Miles? Richard, still convinced Evil Locke wants him on his team, confidently strides along the grass only to get clobbered by Black Smoke. Ben just calmly sits on his porch sipping a mint julep. Is Richard dead? I hope not cause he deserves a little better death than that. Deaths like that are reserved for nameless Others and mercenaries not Ricardus!

Evil Locke recruits Ben to do his killing and then Ben rats out Widmore. Regardless of how things went down in the secret room I still think Widmore was on Black Shirt’s team all along. Sure he gets blasted by Ben but I think that’s because Ben was acting as a wildcard finally taking his revenge on Widmore. Whatever he whispered to Evil Locke proved that he was in cahoots I just wish I knew what was said.

Anyways so Ben says he’s ready to go kill the next victims and Evil Locke says he’s going to destroy the Island which kinda doesn’t work for that whole promise he made to Ben to give him the Island if he helped him. Also Desmond has mysteriously gotten out of the well. Who got him out? Miles? A waterlogged Frank???
Theoryland

To be honest I don’t have a clue as to how this is all going to end so I only have a couple theories this week.

- Desmond turned the Hatch fail safe key and now he has become the Island fail safe key. Either Evil Locke wants to throw him into the magic cave to destroy the Island or Evil Locke will start the process of destroying the Island and Desmond will have to sacrifice himself again by throwing himself into the magic cave to stop it.

- Alternaverse is all going to come to a head at the Widmore’s party featuring Drive Shaft.

- Super out there theory – Jack is going to get his throat sliced on the Island. Maybe he’ll even die and somebody else will have to become the Protector.

- Even more out there? Series ends with Evil Locke destroying the Island. That’s why it is sunk in the alternaverse.

Across the Sea

While this episode didn’t really move forward the plot of LOST as it pertains to us it did key us in on several mythologies of the Island. Rather than recap it I’m just going to cover the interesting stuff we learned:

- Jacob and Black Shirt are twin brothers raised by an Other Mother who was the Protector of the Island before Jacob. How long she’s been there is anyone’s guess but it’s been long enough for her to go more than a little crazy. She hates people. Hate, hate, hates them. Her job? To keep people away from the golden cave. Almost as important as that job is her belief that she cannot let her 2 boys interact with people or get off the Island and be subjected to their evils. Up until they saw the people there was a certain Garden of Eden like innocence in Jacob and Black Shirt. “What is lying”, “What does dying mean?”, ect.

- So we now know what the Island is – the spiritual center of the world. Somewhere on that Island is a golden cave that represents life, death, and rebirth. It is that cave that the Island Protector is responsible for protecting and apparently it is hidden such that only the Protector can find it although people can dig through the Island and find it based off the electromagnetic energy it puts off.

- Black Shirt, with his innate super power of knowing how things work, was the mind behind the Frozen Donkey Wheel and it’s attachment to the Island’s core.

- The origin of the Black Smoke! The golden cave killed Black Shirt’s mortal body but freed his immortal soul into the black smoke. The mechanics behind how he forms into other bodies is still a mystery but at least we know why he can do that and Jacob can’t. There is a possibility that Black Shirt actually died and Black Smoke is some ancient evil released when he was tossed in the cave but Evil Locke seems to know what Black Shirt would know so I’m discounting that theory for now.

- Adam and Eve were NOT Emilia Earhart and her co-pilot they were Other Mother and Black Shirt’s discarded body. And the stones were from Lil’ Black Shirt’s game.

- Has Jacob been Protector for so long that he’s gotten a little of the crazy from his Other Mother? The job definitely could get a little tiresome after a couple thousand years doing it.

- Theory expansion! Last week I said Widmore and Black Shirt were in cahoots. Now we know what Widmore gets! The golden cave! He represents the personification of exactly what Other Mother feared from people.

- We still don’t know why Black Shirt can’t get off the Island but Jacob can. Is that a benefit of being the Protector?
Two more episodes left! Sadness!!

The Candidate

End game is in full effect and now nobody’s safe! Anyone could die at any second? Oh shit! Did Hurley just die while I wrote this? No, no he didn’t. But he could have.

Alternaverse – “I’ll Fix You”, Coldplay Must Be LOST Fans

The action picks up with a post-surgery Locke and a beaming Jack:
“Dude, I totally saved your life” says Jack.
“Thanks, bro” responds Locke.
“That’s not the best part man – I can totally fix your legs. You’re going to walk again mother f#%ker!”.
“No thanks.”
“Wha!??!”

Turns out alterna-Locke got his pilot’s license, convinced his plane hating dad to accompany him on his first flight, and then totally crashed it paralyzing him and turning Anthony Cooper into a vegetable. If only Locke knew about his dad’s con man past maybe he wouldn’t be punishing himself with his paralysis and he’d take Jack up on the offer.

Before Locke actually tells Jack about the accident he turns to Locke’s dentist Bernard to get some answers. Bernard directs him to Cooper and almost seems like he knows what’s going on as he does it. “Of course I remember a guy from 4 years ago Jack”. Strange…you’re up to something Bernard.

Jack also gets a visit from sister Claire and her music box. You know who else had a music box? The Crazy French Danielle who Island Claire has taken the place of on the Island.

Outside of finding out about alterna-Locke the purpose of this flash sideways to get Jack thinking about the fact that everyone he’s meeting these days was on flight 815. Locke, Bernard, Claire, Desmond, the pizza guy from last night, that cat that he almost ran over. All of them were on Oceanic 815! Oh yes Jack it most definitely means something.

On Island – If I Can Blow Up That Sub Then All The Rest of the Dominoes Will Fall Like A House of Cards…Checkmate!

Back in the real world everyone is stuck into the old bear cages at the Hydra Station (man, I need to get a bear cage – those things are SO useful!). They’re hopelessly trapped! Oh wait, here comes Smokie and Jack and now they’re free again. Nice job Widmore! Now off to the plane and sweet freedom.

Not so fast it seems! Widmore wired the plane to explode but thankfully Evil Locke spotted the exposed wires and took out a bunch of C4. Still there could be more so our heroes head to their new ticket off the Island, the sub.

They find the sub surprisingly unguarded and get in with ease. Jack wishes them well but he’s staying here. Evil Locke asks him why he wants to stay and he says because somebody told him to. Who asks Evil Locke. “Your face!” shouts Jack and he pushes him into the water. Then all hell breaks out as Widmore’s men open fire from the shore. Kate is hit! Unfortunately it doesn’t seem fatal. Everyone, minus Claire and a water logged Evil Locke, make it into the sub and hasten away.

Jack goes into his trusty backpack for something to stop Kate’s bleeding and finds…the plane bomb! I totally saw Evil Locke switch his backpack before they went after the sub. Yes, it seems they’ve all fallen for Evil Locke’s clever plan!
Cool your jets Jack says cause he’s got Evil Locke’s whole plan figured out. Evil Locke needs them dead but he can’t kill them himself so he’s arranged this little sub bomb. But the bomb won’t do it alone – he needs them to try and defuse it at which point he isn’t actively killing them they’re killing themselves. Sawyer, not around for Jack’s dynamite stare down, isn’t buying it and pulls the wires. Not surprisingly the bomb goes into super fast mode. Sayid, in a final act of redemption, grabs the bomb and dashes to the far reaches of the sub. Not before telling Jack about Desmond; who’s still alive in the well.

The explosion vaporizes Sayid, seems to kill Frank with a hatch door, and pins Sun behind a bunch of metal crap. Kate is passed out from the gun shot and, of course, the sub is sinking. Hurley and Kate head to the surface (fat floats!) and Jack, Sawyer, and Jin try and free Sun but they can’t. Sawyer gets nailed by some debris and he’s out for the count too. Jack leaves with Sawyer after Jin tells him to go. Jin and Sun, finally reunited only an episode ago, die holding each others hands in a moment that I was glad my girlfriend was in Orlando for cause she might have seen me mist up a bit.

On the beach the survivors are left with the tragedy they just went through and break down. Back at the docks Evil Locke sets out to finish the job with Crazy Claire in tow.

Theoryland

- Bernard seems to know something of the other world. Has he touched his On Island self? Is he some sort of omnipotent demigod watching the whole thing play out? He has a knowledge greater than his character to this point should have. Why!?

- I’m calling it right now – Evil Locke and Widmore are in cahoots! All of Widmore’s actions on the Island have been to set up Evil Locke’s master plan which was to blow them all up in the sub. Evil Locke wouldn’t have had the C4 unless Widmore left it for him. And don’t you think that if the Candidates were really important to him he would have guarded them with more than the slightly chubby guy and a rifle? In fact all of Widmore’s “important” things are only half assed guarded. Desmond? Easily captured by Sayid. Their generators? Easily taken out of Sayid. The plane? Easily taken over by Evil Locke. Yes it’s all been one big con. Evil Locke gets his freedom from the Island and Widmore gets the Island’s all important electromagnetic pockets and all the scientific wealth they represent. The person Jacob needed brought to the Island was not Charles Widmore it was Desmond Hume!

- Does the fact that Alterna-Locke have his pilot’s license mean that somehow his conscious will integrate into either his dead body resurrecting him or displacing Black Smoke from his Evil Locke body and then be the pilot that flies everyone to away in the Ajira plane? All this time I thought Frank was going to do it but it seems his continued presence was a red herring since he is now dead (potentially).

- Will Jack pushing Evil Locke in the water have any effect on him? We know Evil Locke can’t just black smoke it over water which says to me he has some vulnerability to it. Perhaps now that he got wet he can’t turn into Black Smoke anymore?

- What is Team Richard up to? Man I hope they’ve grabbed Locke’s body and are going to resurrect him somehow.

- Now that the Candidates are wise to Evil Locke’s treachery how will he kill the rest of them?

The Last Recruit

Looks like we got another set up episode this week. Not quite as crazy as the last couple of weeks but still some interesting things happening.

Alternaverse – Fly Together, Die Alone?

Everyone was getting together in the Alternaverse this episode. Locke and Ben head to the hospital only to meet up with Jin and Sun while Desmond delicately pushes Claire into meeting her half brother Jack (as well as previously blown up Illenya) just before Jack is called to the very same hospital Locke, Ben, Sun, and Jin are at. Meanwhile Sawyer and Miles chill with Kate and then go apprehend Sayid. The only one missing from a fully fledged Oceanic get together was Hurley. Most likely because he was too busy getting’ it on with Libby.

On Island – What’s With All The Explosions?

Jack and Evil Locke have a little side conversation (lots of these side chats happening here…) and we find out that Evil Locke was in fact the Christian Sheppard people were seeing around the Island. And just like that another LOST mystery is solved. Why did he lead Jack to the caves and water? Cause he wanted to help. How nice!

Magically it is day again and Not-Tina Fey shows up and tells Locke to give her back Desmond. Then she has her people drop a mortar on his camp. Badass Evil Locke doesn’t even flinch when the shell goes boom. He has till the end of the day which given that we just went from night to day in like a second could mean he could have hours or seconds. Crazy Island.

The impending shelling makes Evil Locke move up his plans and he sends Sawyer and Kate to fetch his sweet sailboat, “Monkey Business”, while he takes the rest of the folks by land. “Large groups move slow” he says but his eyes say “plot device”. Sawyer, putting all his chips on this submarine hijacking scheme (and really who in their life hasn’t done the same?), side chats with Jack and tells him to double back and bring all his Oceanic buddies (minus Crazy Claire and Zombie Sayid) to a special beach where he’ll pick them up in the boat and then they’ll steal the sub and sail away to freedom. Evil Locke then has yet another side chat with Sayid telling him to go kill Desmond. The groups split.

Locke, worried about Sayid, goes back to look for him giving Jack & crew the perfect chance to escape. Unfortunately he abandons Claire. His half sister and girl he just had a 10 minute talk with about how everyone abandoned her on the Island…
Sayid is all totally read to kill a very serene Desmond until Desmond asks him what he’ll tell Nadia he did to bring her back. Apparently killing Dogen and John Lennon and a couple of Widmore dudes is cool but maybe Nadia might draw the line at killing a dude stuck in a well. Does he kill him? Does he not kill him? We don’t know but he tells Locke that he did.

True to his word Sawyer picks everyone up but ut-oh what is this? Abandoned Claire. Perhaps angry about being abandoned? Kate talks her down and their merry band grows by one but not before Claire ominously warns that Evil Locke will not be happy they left. You should have just shot Kate Claire.

As the Monkey Business sails across the water Jack looks pensively out at the ocean. He’s been doing a lot of that this season. Maybe since Evil Locke wants them to leave so bad maybe they should in fact NOT leave he reasons. Sawyer misunderstands him and thinks he said something anti-submarine and kicks him off the boat. A couple mile swim later Jack is back on the Island and at the feet of Locke. Just in time for the shelling of a life time courtesy of one Charles Elizabeth Widmore who, after a touching Jin/Sun reunion, altered the deal. Sawyer, pray that he doesn’t alter it any further or you could end up in carbonite buddy!
We end the episode with Locke telling Jack he’ll be alright, he’s with him now. And thus Jack becomes the titular character of this episode – The Last Recruit. Not to be confused with Bruce Willis, who was of course The Last Boy Scout.

Theoryland

- So my theory about Christian Sheppard being brought to life by the Man in Black and being a zombie henchman like Sayid proved to be false. He apparently was Christian the entire time. At least on the Island. Who was Christian off Island then!? Smokie can’t get off the Island! Evil Locke is lying, he wasn’t him! He resurrected him I tells ya! I refuse to let my theory die! If he was Christian than why is he stuck in Locke’s body and not Christians?

- Maybe Sayid isn’t irredeemable after all. Looks like Desmond got him thinking about something other than murderin’ people. And that saved his life. The question is…did he also get Sayid thinking about pulling poor Aussies out of wells?

- We’re right on track for Jack to fix Locke’s paralysis in the alternaverse. Bank on it.

- Speaking of alternaverse Locke – in the ambulance when he said “Helen, she’s the woman I was going to marry”. Did he say that cause he thought he was going to die before he could marry her or did he say that because he had tapped into his Island self. A self who was going to marry Helen but ended up alienating her with his crazy daddy obsession. I’m thinking he’s tapped in.

- Also what about Sun seeing him in the stretcher next to her say “It’s him!”. She’s also tapped in thanks to the bullet she took.

- I think if you’re a Candidate you have a certain immunity to Evil Locke’s voice. Yes, Sayid and Claire fell for it but none of the rest of the Candidates seem to be irrevocably tied to him. I don’t think we have to worry about Jack now that he’s the only Candidate left on the Island. In fact I believe Jack is going to step into the Jacob role – going full circle from Man of Science to Man of Faith. Additionally him taking the Jacob role will imprison Evil Locke on the Island once again. A certain poetic ending: Jack and Locke forever trapped on the Island battling against each other much like Jack and the real Locke were for most of the series.

- At some point Frank is going to fly that plane off the Island. That’s the only reason he’s been kept around. What we should wonder about is who will be on that plane when it takes off. I just said Jack won’t be there. Who else?

- Who the flip is David’s mother? Most people are probably saying Juliet but you know who I say? Nikki! Wouldn’t that be a kick to the nuts 

- I think the massive Oceanic reunion is going to happen at the hospital but what is going to bring Sawyer, Miles, Kate, and Sayid there? How will Desmond do it? There’s only so many problems you can solve by running your car into them…

Prepare for Mindblowing of the Highest Degree

I give you ALL OF THE WHISPERS transcribed.

Everyone Loves Hugo

Things are starting to roll now! I think every episode post-Desmond is going to be just of a wild ride as tonight’s was!

Alternaverse - Chang Has 2 Arms!

So in the alternaverse Hurley came into his money due to, not the lottery, but his eternal love for fried chicken. Without the numbers he isn’t cursed, his grandfather Tito didn’t die and, judging from his absence at Hugo’s award ceremony, his dad is still touring the country with his buddy Chong. But the good news is that Mile’s dad, my favorite Dharma scientist, the best Asian French physicist out there, Dr. Pierre Chang is alive and well heading the museum that Hurley donated a chunk of change to. Best of all – he has both his arms. More on that later.
With all his fame and fortune there is one this Hurley doesn’t have – a woman. That is until Libby shows up. Crazy. She’s tapped into her Island memories and remembers their time together. Before she can explain she’s carted back to her mental institution and Hurley is left with an empty basket of tortilla chips. And questions. Lots of questions. As many questions as he does not have tortilla chips.

Desmond, being a man who also loves fried chicken, tracks down Hurley downing a family sized bucket where he gives him a little push in the right direction – “so what if she’s crazy brutha” Desmond says, “don’t you want to find out where she thinks she knows you from brutha?” Implying “yes she’s crazy but…boobies brutha boobies!”.

Hurley tracks down Libby at the nut house and since she checked herself into the place (you can do that!? Guess what I’m doing next weekend!) she can check herself out for a beach date. They get to the beach and Libby cannot resist the allure of a man who brings not 1, not 2, but 5 different cheeses to the beach and they kiss. Turns out “the power of love” that Huey Lewis sang about is the power to see your crazy Island vision. Desmond smiles to himself from the parking lot, checks off Hurley on his Oceanic list, and guns it out of there. His bumper is due on John Locke’s face in less than 5 minutes!

Ben, ever stick up the ass teacher, asks Desmond why he’s prowling around a high school parking lot. “Just checking it out for my son brutha.” That sounds reasonable thinks Ben and goes back to his Gogurt. Desmond hits the gas and blammo John Locke is road kill. Or is he? More on that later.

On Island – Boom Goes The Dynamite

On Island Richard is spearheading the Blow Up The Plane Initiative and Illyena has collected the dynamite for him. Hurley is having second thoughts at Libby’s grave. Whisper, whisper and look who shows up, Michael! “WAAAAAAAALT” he screams then suggests Hurley not blow up the plane. For some reason, even though he killed Libby and then blew up in the freighter, Hurley trusts him and goes totally anti-plane blowyupy. Illenya starts to tell him why they need to blow it up and then She gets Artz’d. How delightfully shocking!

With chunks of his protector on the ground Hurley changes his tune – lets blow up the plane he says! A little too late for Illenya and all two million pieces of her. They go back to the Blackrock to get more explosives only to see Hurley running in the opposite direction. No more Blackrock and no more plot point dynamite!

Richard begins screaming like a little girl about how stupid that was and how they’ll never blow up the plane now. A line is drawn and two teams are formed: Team Die Plane Die (Richard, Miles, and Ben) and Team Truffle Shuffle (Hurley, Sun, Frank, and Jack). Team Truffle Shuffle shuffles off to find Evil Locke for a chit chat. On the way Jack confesses that he’s finally stopped trying fix things and that’s why he’s following Hurley. Me thinks he’s got at least one more thing left to fix – Evil Locke’s face. Michael shows up again to point Hurley in the direction of Evil Locke’s camp. Also he explains the mystery of the whispers that have taunted us since day 1 – dead folks like him who can’t “move on”. Man, I’d watch every episode from episode 1 thru now just to note all the whispers.
Hurley and crew show up at Evil Locke’s camp and Jack gets a creepy “Hello Jack” from Locke. What does that mean?

On Island – Nice Looking Well Brutha!

Desmond continues to act high as a kite and is unphased by anything that happens around him. Sayid ties him to a tree, cool brutha. Evil Locke cuts him loose and takes him to a creepy well? Love it, brutha. Evil Locke tosses him down said well? Aaaaaaaiiiieeeeee brutha.

Theoryland

- Dr. Changtastic has both his arms. That sort of helps my theory that the alternaverse is what would have happened if Jacob hadn’t touched them. If they hadn’t been chosen by Jacob then they would have never crashed on the Island nor would they have ever time traveled to 1977 to cause the Incident. The Incident which, in case you don’t remember, took Changy’s arm.

- Did Desmond run down Locke as payback for tossing him down the well on the Island? No! He ran him down to give him the near death experience he needed to peek through the veil and see his Island self. Locke is going to live (thanks to Jack), walk again (thanks to Jack), and regain the faith he doesn’t currently have in the alternaverse (thanks to Desmond’s car hood). Will he be the counter balance to Evil Locke somehow?

- Michael cannot “move on” even though he’s dead. Do you remember who said he “could go now” right before he blew up in the freighter? Christian Sheppard, Evil Locke’s right hand man. I think the whispers who can’t move on are all there because of Evil Locke not Jacob. Remove Evil Locke and they’ll be free.

- The well Desmond is currently stuck in seems similar to the well the Frozen Donkey Wheel was located in. It isn’t the same well since it isn’t under the Orchid station but it has some electromagnetic properties which is why people dug down there in the first place. I don’t think Desmond is going to find some Island shifting wheel down there but being close to that electromagnetism is going to do something to him. Perhaps something he already knew was going to happen which is why he was so cool about everything going around him?

- Jack has given up his desire to fix everything. Hurley has learned to speak up and stop being a follower. Will all the Losties have to overcome their greatest flaw? What flaws match to each Lostie?

Happily Ever After

I remember way back when Desmond first arrived on the scene and I crazily hypothesized that he was a modern day Jesus. While he hasn’t quite achieved messiah status he certainly has turned out to be the most important character in LOST.

Alternaverse – Desmond Hume, Swinging Bachelor

Thanks to a massive EMP aimed directly at him Desmond finds himself staring at an Oceanic arrivals board in the alternaverse. He runs into Hurley and Claire before he’s picked up by everyone’s favorite Short Circuit star, Fisher Stevens. More LOST related Fisher Stevens was also George Minkowski, radio operator for the Freighter who succumbed to time jumping sickness cause he couldn’t find a constant. George is a limo operator now rather than a radio jockey and he can take Desmond anywhere he wants to go. First stop? Widmore Industries!

At Widmore Industries Desmond is treated to a warm welcome by former arch nemesis Charles Widmore. Alterna-Desmond is his right hand man and fixer. A man so trusted that Widmore shares some of his prized McCutchen scotch with him. A drink, you’ll remember, Widmore declined to share while he was busy telling Desmond he wasn’t worthy of his daughter. It seems Desmond has achieved that which he wanted in the original timeline – the approval of one Charles Widmore.

Widmore charges Desmond with a seemingly simple task – pick up the freshly bailed Charlie Pace so he and Drive Shaft can perform with his artistic musician son at some charity benefit. Not so fast Charlie says – I had a near death experience where I saw Claire and loved her and now I want you to have the same thing! Next thing you know they’re both sinking to the bottom of the ocean in Desmond’s car in a scene purposefully similar to when Charlie died on the Island. Desmond gets a flash of “Not Penny’s Boat” and then he’s in the hospital. The MRI machines electromagnetic play further havoc with Desmond’s brain banana and he gets flashes of his other life with Penny. This causes him to try and track down Charlie again. After a brief talk with Jack (what are the chances that 3 of us Oceanic folks would be in the same place at the same time Jack wonders…) and a chase Desmond catches up with Charlie who has some sage words for him, “I wouldn’t be looking for me, I’d be looking for Penny”.

Desmond heads off to confront Mrs. Widmore and her fabled temper and she surprisingly takes the news of no Drive Shaft really well. Up until Desmond hears “Penny Milton” (I wonder if her mother is somebody we know??) and asks her about it. At that point Mrs. Widmore goes into full Mrs. Hawking mode and tells him that he shouldn’t be looking for her. Why is it that Eloise, regardless of timeline, always seems to know more about what’s going on that anyone else? Is it because of Daniel’s notebook?

Speaking of Dan – he shows up and tells Desmond about his brief encounter with Charlotte and how it was love at first sight. Yes, it seems the original timeline is bleeding into the alternaverse for many people. Dan gives Desmond the location of his half sister – one Penelope Milton. Desmond meets up with her at the very same place he originally met up with Jack (Hawaii’s Pro Bowl Stadium). Is Penny there doing the same thing Desmond was – training for a race around the world? They talk and Desmond proves that I was on to something by fainting whenever I talked to a girl in high school – he secures a date!

On Island – Crouching Tiger, Hidden Sayid

Desmond wakes up and finds he’s been kidnapped by his best bud, Charles Widmore. Desmond shares his IV bag with Charles. Several times. Across the face. After that Charles tells Desmond that he hopes that everything he suspects about him is right and that he’s going to ask him to sacrifice something. He then unleases like a billion electromagnetons on him (I think the technical term is gausses?) in a little box that looks suspiciously like Jacob’s Cabin. This zapping causes Desmond to shift conscious to the alternaverse where he spends a good couple hours running after Charlie before he shakes Penny’s hand and is transported back. Only those hours in the alternaverse were only seconds in Island time.

Desmond wakes up with a serenity that comes from knowing what he has to do. He calmly tells Widmore he’s ready to do what needs to be done and Widmore sends him off with a bunch of cronies. In the jungle ninja Sayid shows up and kills everyone except Zoe, who he allows to run off, and Desmond who he tells to come with him. “Sure, brutha”.

Alternaverse – How Easy Is It To Get A Passenger Manifest?

Back in the Alternaverse Desmond tells George to get him his flight’s manifest (more Fisher Stevens? Yes, thank you!). He’s got to find everyone on the Island in the Alternaverse and make them see something just like Charlie made him see. End game has begun. LOST!

Theoryland

-We’ve been focusing so much on the good versus evil battle on the Island that we’ve been missing another of LOST’s central themes: love. So many couples – Penny/Desmond, Sun/Jin, Sawyer/Juliet, Charlie/Claire, Hurley/Libby, Sayid/Nadia, Jack/Kate (Boo Kate!). Will the re-pairing of these couples in the Alternaverse repair what’s going on On Island (re-pair/repair, hilarious Mike!).

-Still on the subject of the Alternaverse – does the alternaverse represent a place where you get your deepest desire? Desmond wanted Widmores’ approval, he got it. Daniel wanted to play the piano, done. Hurley wanted his bad luck reversed – blammo! Sawyer wanted a legal way to take out the real Sawyer – booya! Claire wanted to raise Aaron – schblammy! Kate wanted…well who the f#@k cares what Kate wanted! Is it sort of like the cursed monkey paw where you get your wish but it has horrible consequences? In the end will the Losties be given the choice to go on living their idyllic lives in the alternaverse but allowing Evil Locke to escape the Island in Island Time?

-Desmond’s mission is to bring all the Oceanic passengers together and make them see Island universe. Somehow this will lead to our end game. Will both universes survive? Will one be destroyed? Will they bend together in some sort of crazy bi-universe milkshake?

-Why is Desmond so damn calm and serene now? Is it because he knows exactly what he has to do? He’s almost as zombielike as Sayid is. Why did he go so willingly with him? Cause he knows that what he has to do doesn’t happen On Island but in the alternaverse?

The Package

I do so enjoy it when one of my theories is proven correct and this week I was vindicated regarding what was in the submarine’s locked door. Hooray for me!

Alternaverse – Feels Like…Pulp Fiction
Jin and Sun are not married in the alternaverse but they are still very into each other. It seems unlike in the original timeline where their relationship was ruined when Jin started working for Sun’s dad instead it seems to have started it. But how did Jin get a job with Paik Industries in the first place then? He got the job initially because he asked to marry Sun. In this universe he is afraid of Paik finding out about the two of them (man does LOST pile on the daddy issues).

Anyways turns out Keamy was hired by Paik to kill Jin for doing the dirty with his daughter. In a giant smack to the face he even made Jin personally pay Keamy to kill him. Nice, I’ll have to remember that move when I have a daughter. Sun tries to access her “secret” Runaway With Jin Fund only to find that her father found it and emptied it. Oh yes, everyone’s favorite indestructible Russian Mikhail shows up too. With both eyes! Lucky him.

So things are looking bad for Jin and then Sayid happens. Blam, blam, blam and Jin is free. Well partially free, Sayid won’t cut his bindings for him he just gives him a razor. Then Mikhail and Sun show up. Gun play. Karate action. And then Mikahil is dead with a bullet through the eye (ouch! The universe really doesn’t want him to have both eyes!) and Sun is shot through her pregnant stomach. Off the rush to the hospital. Who do you think is going to save them? Ethan? Jack? My guess is we’ll see Juliet for the first time in the alternaverse and she saves her. She was a fertility doc after all…

On Island – Widmore’s People Are Surprisingly Accurate
Sayid can’t feel feelings anymore. He’s basically a zombie. A murderous zombie minus the hunger for human brains. Perhaps his body was revived but his soul remained dead? Claire on the other hand is worried about Aaron not knowing her and Evil Locke basically gives her the unspoken clearance to kill Kate as soon as they get off the Island. Sawyer is seeing his plan fall apart before his eyes and Jin is totally “f$&k this, I’m outta here”.

Evil Locke explains to Jin that he needs all 6 Candidates on the plane to leave and he promises that he’ll get Sun back for him. What he really meant was he needs to kill all 6 Candidates and he doesn’t know which Kwon he needs so he’s going to kill both. He leaves to go get Sun and then Widmore’s ninjas attack and abduct Jin.

On Island – Join Me Or You Can’t Speak English!
Back on the beach everyone is eagerly waiting the return of Richard and Hurley. Sun gets fed up of their constant anti-finding Jin policies and storms away to her garden. First she is joined back Jack, who she yells away, and then Evil Locke who promises her Jin. Surprisingly Sun doesn’t fall for his siren song and bolts. Right into a tree. Never look behind you when running through the jungle! She is awoken by a concerned Ben Linus and finds she can no longer speak English. She can understand it just fine though. I haven’t figured out if this means something or if it is just a convenient plot point by the writers. If it does mean something I’m betting her inability to speak English is going to have a dire effect somewhere down the line. In the end Jack gives her a note pad and joins the list of people who’ve promised to find Jin.

Richard shows up and tells them they’ve got a date with the Hydra Island, explosives, and a plane. They’ve got to blow it up so Evil Locke can’t escape. Now one wonders…did his wife really tell Hurley that he had to stop Evil Locke? It seemed odd that all the other things she said we saw her speaking them to Hurley but that last request came directly from Hurley and he didn’t look comfortable saying it. Was it Jacob? Was it Evil Locke?? Could it just be part of his master plan to get everyone on that island so he can kill them all in one quick move?

On Island – Jins On A Plane
So Jin is swept off to Hydra Island by Zoe and crew. He’s stuck in Room 23; the same propaganda room that Karl got stuck in way back in season 3. Just in case you’ve forgotten Jin hits a switch and the pro-Jacob techno beat starts. Fun! Then Zoe shows up and asks him about electromagnetical maps he signed off on back in the 70s when he was with Dharma. Oh yes electromagnetic pockets are still important and somehow the key to whatever Widmore is trying to attempt on the Island. Is it really stopping Evil Locke or is his plan something more self serving? Immortality perhaps?

Also – Widmore throws his cap into the ring and joins Jack and Evil Locke in saying he’ll save Sun. And the what behind the locked sub door? It isn’t a what at all but a who? Gosh who could that be?!?

On Island – Charles and Locke, An Intimate Portrait
Well Evil Locke’s rep doesn’t get any help from Widmore; he basically says he’s a legendary dick. Locke quotes Widmore (to Ben in season 4), “There’s a war coming”. And it’s ON! I think the LOST endgame has finally begun. Hold on to your butts!

On Island – Mike Is Right
So Sayid has been just chillin’ in the ocean until dark. Now that it has fallen he approaches the sub only to see a highly drugged man get dragged out (drugged, dragged, ha!). This man is none other than the guy I predicted when we first saw the locked door – Desmond Hume! Holla! While drugged Desmond still seems to recognize Sayid before he’s dragged away.

Theories!
Honestly do any of you read the recaps or do you just skip to the theories? I might just stop the recaps and only do theories since the recaps take a lot of time…

- Why is Desmond here? Because of his special connection to the Island. There is no doubt that by being at ground zero when the Hatch imploded he was imbued with some sort of special powers. He could see the future. And shifted through time. My guess is he’s going to be able to shift through universes soon. Yes, my next bold Desmond related prediction is that the Desmond we saw on the plane at the beginning of the season was not a alternaverse Desmond but original universe Desmond!

- We knew things were going to be bad if Evil Locke got out but now Widmore said that everyone will die if he gets off. Like life would end or somesuch?

- I think all the alternaverse storylines are going to start merging together real fast now until all characters are linked for the big finale.

- I still don’t buy Widmore’s story. Sure he’s trying to stop Evil Locke but that’s just cause he wants what’s on the Island. The only “good” guys I think are the folks on the beach.

- Alt-Sun had a moment in the hotel where she was looking in the mirror and paused for a second. Did she have a feeling that something wasn’t right like Alt-Jake?

- What if Sun’s inability to speak English On Island is from her Alt personality bleeding over? Alt-Sun didn’t seem to know English…

Ab Aeterno

Tonight’s episode was hands down the best of the season and perhaps the best of the entire series behind only The Constant. Things we theorized about Richard were confirmed along with some new information given regarding him and the epic and seemingly eternal battle between Jacob and the Man in Black.

1867 – Ricardo Has A Really Bad Week

So his wife Isabella has tuberculosis. He runs off to the doctor to get some help unfortunately the doctor was in the middle of a delicious zebra steak and can’t be bothered to go a half day’s ride out to bumfuck Spain. He does have some medicine he’ll part with for some Spanish Yen though. Unfortunately Ricardo doesn’t have enough. A fight ensues and the doctor takes a table to the head. Dead. Ricardo runs and the world’s most useless butler stands and does nothing. It’s a bad day but at least he got the medicine right?

Nope. He gets back to Isabella and she’s already dead. Plus the gardener or somebody definitely not the butler (cause he’s still standing at the doorway with an armful of blankets being useless) called the Spanish cops and Ricardo is arrested for murder. Or murdero as they call it there. Super bad day.

So once in jail Ricardo passes his time teaching himself English from a Bible. On the day he is to be hung a priest comes to give him his last rights. As that a damned soul will get more on the slavery market the priest denies him forgiveness, condemns him to hell, and promptly sells him to some English guy. Pretty much par for the course with the Catholic church – at least he didn’t get molested (Hi-oh! Scathing religious humor!). Could this week get any worse for old Dickie Pern-bags?

THUD. Yes, yes it could. The Black Rock slams into an Egyptian statue while at sea and is shipwrecked in the middle of the jungle (more on that in the theories section). Ricardo wakes up just in time to watch a stabbing spree by one of the English officers. He is stopped just before gutting Ricardo by the arrival of Black Smoke. A couple roars and a shifting of gears later and Black Smoke has killed everyone and is hovering in front of Ricardo. He does his little flashy thing to extract some memories from Ricardo and vanishes. Next time he appears to Ricardo it is in the form of Isabella telling him he’s in hell and he needs to escape the devil. A monster roar cuts off Isabella and Ricardo makes her leave to save herself and he’s left all alone once again.

Just when all hope is lost the Man in Black visits Ricardo, gives him water, and frees him on one condition – he help him kill Jacob. The instructions he gives Ricardo are the exact same Dogen gave Sayid: kill him as soon as you see him and don’t let him say a word. Even gives him the same knife. Tells him Jacob is the devil and killing him is the only way to escape hell.

Ricardo heads to the Temple and proceeds to get an ass beating of epic proportions at the hands of Jacob, looking quite a bit more wrathful then he has in the past. He finds out the Man in Black sent Ricardo to kill him and explains that the Island is not hell but basically a stopper on a jar full of evil. Implying the evil is Black Shirt. Him and Black Shirt are arguing over man – whether they are inherently evil or can make good choices without prompting. At this point Ricardo mentions that since Jacob never steps in before Black Shirt Black Shirt is always getting first dibs on the new castaways. This statement hits Jacob like he’s never heard or thought about it before (odd). He then offers to make Ricardo his voice on the Island to intermediate between people he brings and himself. In exchange he makes it so Ricardo can never die. Think of the 401k potential!

On Island – All Work And No Play Make Richard Go Crazy

The episode starts with our little band of pro-Jacob survivors. After the feel good slow mo hug-a-thon everyone calmed down and tried to figure out what the hell they should be doing. Ileyna (I think I spell her name different every recap…) says her only job was to protect the remaining Candidates. The one who knows what to do next is none other than Richard Alpert. Ricardus. And as we are soon to find out Ricardo. The problem is…Richard’s gone crazy. He tells them they’re all dead and that the Island was hell and then bolts into the jungle. All at once millions of LOST fans yell at their TV “but the writers said they all were definitely NOT dead and the Island was NOT Purgatory!”

Jack and Ileyna chat and then we notice Hurley is talking to a ghost in Spanish. That’ll be important later…right?

We catch up with Richard back at the same place where he buried Isabella’s necklace. He digs it up and yells to the Man in Black that he’s reconsidered and wants to join him. Instead of Evil Locke showing up he gets Hurley. But Hurley has brought an undead friend – Isabella. She’s the Spanish speaker he was talking to (totally called it like 40 minutes before it happened. Ask Meghan). Isabella tells him it was her time to go and they reconcile. Richard isn’t quite as crazy anymore and puts on her necklace. Hurley then tells him one other thing – Isabella wants him to stop Black Shirt from getting off the Island. Bwong – LOST!

Theories!

-What’s up with the arrival of the Black Rock? First off, in last season’s finale, we were led to believe it was just off the shore of the Island during the day when Jacob and Man in Black talked. Guess that was yet another boat that Jacob brought to the Island. Secondly – they sail into the statue. Yes that explains why the statue is now just a foot but really the big question is why was the water so high that they could a) sail into a statue on land and b) get deposited miles inland? Were they riding on a freak tsunami or does the Island have the ability to raise and lower in depth. That certainly would explain why it was completely submerged at the beginning of this season.

-Did anyone see the little blue butterfly that flew across the screen when Ricardo was waking up in the wrecked hull of the Black Rock? I don’t think they put that in there just to look pretty – it means something. I think that where the Man in Black can take the form of the Black Smoke Jacob can take the form of…animals! Think about what that could mean! The horse Kate saw? Jacob. The bird that seemed to say “Hurley”? Jacob. The boar that Sawyer thought was trying to kill him? Jacob. And the biggest one of all – Vincent the dog. JACOB! BWONG! LOST!

-If the Island is the stopper that keeps the evil in the bottle does the fact that the Man in Black smashed the bottle after Jacob gave it to him mean that he means to escape the Island by a means not involving the Island at all? Smashing a bottle lets the wine out without any regard for the stopper…

-Heavy biblical themes this week. Is there any other analogy you can make between Jacob and the Man in Black than God v. Satan? Satan is trying to prove that man is inherently evil and constantly tempts him. God is trying to prove that man is inherently good but refuses to get involved.

-Side note to Jacob being God – if he was God then why couldn’t he grant Richard his first 2 requests: Isabella back or forgiveness? Must not be God…right?

-The white rock Ricardo gave the Man in Black as a gift from Jacob was, of course, the same rock he chucked into the ocean when he and Sawyer were in the cave as an “inside joke”.

-Doctor who refused to help Richard? Wore black. Priest who wouldn’t forgive him? Wore black. Man in Black. Wore black, duh.

-Magnus Hanso, Black Rock owner = distant relative of Alvar Hanso, founder of the Hanso Foundation and the Dharma Initiative.

Recon

I’m not going to lie to you; this episode left me feeling a little unsatisfied. I think I keep waiting for a big crazy reveal and all we are getting are little bite sized reveals. This is the last season! I need a feast of revelations not a snack. Luckily it looks like next week’s episode is going to be a Thanksgiving dinner worth of revealing with a long awaited for Richard Alpert episode!

Alternaverse – Ford & Straume Police Cops!

The alternaverse starts out just like Sawyer’s first flashback episode from way back in season 1 – he’s just banged a chick, is late for a meeting, and accidently spills a case full of cash. Same old Sawyer – but wait! What’s this? She pulls a gun on him? He says he’s a cop? Who are we to believe? One “LaFlauer” later and Ford & Straume have another bust.

It turns out that in this life when Sawyer hit the cross road of cop or criminal he took the cop route. One thing hasn’t changed though: his lust for revenge against Anthony Cooper, the man who ruined his life. But he keeps this secret hidden deep down away from everybody. Instead of a note to Mr. Sawyer he’s got a dossier. Is this Anthony Cooper the same one that Locke and Helen want to invite to their wedding? If he’s such a baddie then why would they want him there?

Like a good partner Miles sets up Sawyer with a new lady to bone. I guess sex on the job doesn’t count, how nice of Miles. Did you hear where the girl was from though? She works with Miles’ dad at the museum. MILES’ DAD! PIERRE CHANG LIVES! Another father/son duo that got off the Island before it sunk. Anyways, who does this mystery lady turn out to be? Charlotte Staples Lewis! From the freighter. Man Daniel sure isn’t going to be happy about what she does with Sawyer. After they do the dirty Charlotte digs a little bit overzealously into Sawyer’s underware drawer and finds the Sawyer files. She definitely looked like she was searching for something and it wasn’t the tshirt she asked for. What was her motive for that? Sawyer finds her and kicks her out. After being touched by an episode of Little House on the Prairie he tries to rekindle that relationship and Charlotte slams the door in his face. Side note – Charlotte was born on the Island so she’s another person who escaped before it sunk.

Miles, showing an almost creepy interest in his partner’s life, uncovers that Sawyer went to Austrailia not Palm Springs. This sends him into a jealous rage and he breaks up the band! No! I totally would have watched Ford & Straume Police Cops when it went into syndication! Sawyer eventually tells Miles what the deal is but their touching moment is ruined by worthless Kate wrecking her car into them. Was she escaping the hospital that Claire gave birth in?

Really all this flashsideways did was show us again how people would have been different if Jacob hadn’t called them to the Island. Sawyer’s seems to be fairly good. So far only Sayid and possibly Kate’s flashsideways seem to have been bad.

The Island – Crazy Is As Crazy Does

So you remember that whole thing about Claire saying she was going to kill Kate for raising Aaron? She meant it. Cat fight city. Dead Inside Sayid doesn’t do anything to stop it instead Evil Locke tosses Claire aside and reprimands her like a little kid then apologizes to Kate. After that he goes off into a weird tangent about how he once had a mother who was crazy and kids with crazy moms don’t grow up well adjusted. So is Evil Locke’s mom some sort of Egyptian deity? Anyways the point is Claire isn’t fit to raise Aaron so Kate should. Of course the whole reason she’s crazy is cause of Evil Locke in the first place…

The Island – The Re Con

So you thought the episode title Recon was just about Sawyer’s recon mission to the Hydra island? No sir! Straight off Damon Lindleoff’s Twitter feed: “Recon. Verd. To con again”. Yup it’s all about Sawyer’s conning. This time he’s conning both Widmore and Evil Locke although I don’t think piloting a submarine is that much easier than piloting a plane. That might be a flaw in his plan.

Two questions from Widmore’s submarine: what is behind the locked door and who’s side is Widmore on? Something super important is behind that door for sure. Like the hydrogen bomb that was introduced last year. Maybe it’s a Desmond Bomb! Boom brutha! Is Widmore really on Jacob’s side or is he a 3rd party just trying to take the Island for himself? Or is he on Evil Locke’s side and Sawyer just had his con pimped by Xzibit? Yo dawg I heard you liked cons so we conned your con so you can con while you con!

One thing is for sure – I can’t wait for next week’s Richard episode. I might have to take Wednesday off from work cause I’ll still be sitting on my couch with my mind blown by the time 9am rolls around.

Dr. Linus

I’m not an actor. I don’t know anything about the craft. Really I have no authorization to say this but – Michael Emerson is the greatest actor ever to act. He’s taken an evil manipulator and turned him into somebody we root for with Ben Linus. I don’t know about the rest of you but I sure was glad that he stayed with the good guys rather than joining Evil Locke. On to the episode review!

Alternaverse – It’s True This Principal Has No Dick

Yes that was none other than anal retentive EPA agent Walter Peck playing the principal at Ben’s school. I’m surprised he made the jump to teaching after Dr. Peter Venkman insulted him in front of the mayor of New York.

The main point of this flashsideways was to show that in the alternaverse Ben sacrifices his ambition for the good of Alex. Unlike on the Island where he sacrificed Alex for his power. Another flashsideways where the subject is righting the flaws they had while on the Island. All of them, except Sayid, have been like this. As I’ve theorized previously these flashes seem to be shaping up to be more like a coda for the series. Like these are what happens to everyone after whatever happens when everything on the Island finishes.

Another interesting point of Ben’s flash is that he’s living with his dad, seems to have a good relationship with him, and they both were previously with the Dharma Initiative on the Island but they left. I think the fact that Sayid shot Lil’Ben really brought the two together and mended the fences of hatred between the two of them. Ben’s dad realized how bad it was to almost loose his son and he stopped drinkin’ and blaming him for the death of his mother and instead started loving him. In a way Sayid was like Dr. Phil bringing people together.

Other notes – looks like Danielle is off Island too. Working 2 jobs to support Alex. Guess being a crazy French woman doesn’t pay like it used to. Artz is really getting some screen time this season! Plus he’s a hacker now? Way to be Leslie.

The Island – I Really Dig Ben

First we learn more of Miles’ power. We already knew that he needed to be near the body and now we find he can’t talk to dead people he can only hear their final thoughts. Good for him when it comes to finding diamonds (that was the first time mention of Nikki and Paulo didn’t send me into a murderous rage!) but bad for Ben and keeping the fact that he killed Jacob a secret.

Ilana, Frank, Sun, Miles, and Ben all return to the beach where it all started and Ilana immediately sets Ben to work digging his own grave. After he’s got a nice hole dug Evil Locke shows up and offers him an out – he’ll free him if he joins up with him at the Hydra. Ben bolts and Ilana follows. We are then treated to a dramatic acting clinic by one Michael Emerson as he explains why he killed Jacob and why he’s sorry about it. He put power before his daughter and he’s been asking himself why Jacob required that sacrifice ever since. After his touching speech Ilana invites him to join them and he does rather than side with Evil Locke for the promised position of Island Protector. Now there could be an ever so slight chance that Ben is still Ben and he’s merely staying with them to gather information which he can then give to Evil Locke but I think Ben has really turned over a new leaf and redeemed himself. He’s going to play a big part in end game battle between Jacob and Evil Locke me thinks.

The Island – Should I Try Another Stick?

Hurley and Jack are headed back to the Temple. Or at least are trying to. First you have Hurley’s stalling and then Richard comes out of nowhere and takes them to the Blackrock instead. Now it’s pretty obvious that Richard came to the Island on the Blackrock but we still don’t know if he was part of the crew or one of the slaves. What we do learn is how he’s not aged the entire time – Jacob’s gift. A gift which while keeping him eternally young also prevents him from killing himself. Does anyone else remember another guy who couldn’t kill himself no matter how hard he tried? Yup, Michael Dawson. He tried to kill himself in a car and then tried to shoot himself but Jacob wouldn’t let him die. Well not until the freighter blew up.

After seeing the carnage at the Temple Richard has given up on Jacob as well and wants Jack to kill him. Jack is either bat shit insane now or he’s finally started to have a little faith in Jacob cause he sits right down with Richard and lets the dynamite fuse burn all the way down. Just as Jacob wanted though he has realized that he’s important. He doesn’t know why yet but he believes enough that he won’t let a silly thing like lit dynamite stop him from having a nice conversation with a man wearing guyliner. The dynamite doesn’t blow and it looks like Richard might have gotten his faith back as well. They all head back to the beach and we have a touching slow mo reunion scene with high fives and butt slaps all around. Except for Ben. They’ll accept you in time Ben. Maybe if you shared your Bagel Bites with them?

And what’s this at the end? A submarine? And who’s in it? Why Charles Widmore of course! Is he the one Jacob wanted back on the Island or is he there on his own accord? I’m still holding out that it is Desmond Jacob wants back not Widmore.

Sundown

Did you just feel that? That was LOST rearing back and cold cocking you right in your stupid face with a fistful of awesome!

Alternaverse – Martin Keamy, Egg Gourmand

So things pick up in the Alternaverse with Sayid arriving at Nadia’s doorstep and they lovingly embrace. Fantastic, we think, Sayid finally got the woman he’s longed for ever since season 1. Not so fast LOST says; she’s married to his brother. Thanks to the terrible things he did as an Iraqi torturer Sayid did feel worthy enough of Nadia and so he pushed her into the arms of his worthless brother. Still there is the underlying love there which really makes for an uncomfortable family dining experience. Mommy why does Uncle Sayid have this naked picture of you?

As he’s done all series long Sayid is still trying to prove that he isn’t the man he once was. And once again a situation presents itself to show that he really hasn’t changed at all. His brother is paying “interest” to a loan shark and needs Sayid to take care of him. Sayid says no and Omar gets stabbed in the chest and sent to the hospital (Hi Jack!). Now Sayid is ready for vengeance but Nadia stays his hand and gets him to watch over the children. Tragedy averted right? Wrong – the loan shark sends his boys to pick up Sayid. At this point it’s like kicking a sleeping grizzly bear until it wakes up and mauls you. Thinks aren’t going to turn out well for these guys.

Turns out the loan shark is our good friend Martin Keamy - mercenary, Alex killer, and cooker of a mean omelet. He isn’t half way through with his eggs before Sayid has killed both his goons and put a bullet in his chest. Try as you might Sayid you cannot fight the darkness inside you. Gosh I wonder if this will parallel with what happens on the Island…

Before Sayid flees the scene of the crime he finds Jin locked up in a meat freezer. Looks like his watch delivery didn’t go well. Surely Martin Keamy wasn’t the guy Sun’s dad was trying to bribe? He seems too low on the totem pole to get Mr. Piak’s attention. Who’s above him? Widmore perhaps?

The Island – Sayid Can’t Fight That Feelin’

Back on the Island Sayid is a little perturbed by Jack’s revelation that the Others want him dead so he goes and finds Dogen to get some answers. Things don’t stay civil long and soon the boys are engaged in some mighty fisticuffs. Eventually Dogen’s bearded kung fu gets the best of Sayid’s greasy hair karate and he has him in a position to kill him. Just then Dogen’s beloved baseball falls to the ground and brings him a level head. He exiles Sayid rather than killing him.

Outside the Temple Evil Locke and Claire have reached the edge of the Temple grounds. Evil Locke still seems to be unable to cross the ash line and Claire doesn’t seem to be able to clear it away and let him pass. Interesting. Evil Locke needs someone to give the Others a message and he picks Claire. Why not Sawyer she asks? Where the hell is Sawyer I ask? We haven’t seen him since the freaky name cave! And now that I think about it – where’s Jin? Last episode he was going to take Claire to the Temple to “get her baby” now he’s gone too!

Claire enters the Temple and gives them Evil Locke’s message which basically is just “he has a message but he wants to deliver it to Dogen outside the Temple”. A message of a message really. Dogen, being a wise samurai, sends Sayid instead. Not before giving him a knife and telling him to kill that Evil Locke mother f#@ker dead as soon as he sees him. No chatting about the weather. No asking about his kids. Dead before he even speaks. Sayid heads out leaving Miles and a recently returned Kate standing around doing nothing. “Where’s Sheppard and Reyes” Lennon Glasses asks but nobody answers cause nobody really gives a damn about him unless he’s translating Japanese.

Sayid meets up with Evil Locke. “What’s up Sayid” says Evil Locke. “This knife in your heart is what is in fact up good sir” says Sayid and he stabs him. “Dude. That was totally harsh, you put a hole my favorite Hanes brand t-shirt! How am I going to mack on honeys now?” replies Evil Locke. Evil Locke then promises Sayid anything he wants if he delivers his message back to the Temple (Man, there are a lot of messages going in and out of there!). Sayid wants Nadia but she’s dead. “It aint no thang but a chicken wang” Evil Locke says to that. I have no idea why today I’ve decided to make Evil Locke talk in jive, just go with it.

At this point I’m getting a super “I am the devil” vibe from Black Shirt. The way he’s manipulating people is classic Lucifer. He’s promising people anything they want free and easy just follow him whereas Jacob works in mysterious ways yet provides people what they want but not without sacrifice, very God-like there. Some might still be believing the whole Black Shirt “I’m really the good guy here” (perhaps thinking it’s one of LOST’s famous twists) but I’m going to have to be on Team Jacob with this one.

So Sayid returns with the message telling everyone that they have till sundown to get the fug out or Black Shirt will kill them. People start to bail once they find out they don’t have to stay including former Oceanic stewardess Cindy. Sayid once again tracks down Dogen and confronts him about the whole sending him to Evil Locke to die thing. Dogen shares a touching tale about him killing his son drunk driving, explaining his attachment to the baseball, and how Jacob gave his son back his life but forbade him from ever seeing him again (once again the give you what you want but requiring a sacrifice). It looks for a moment that Dogen’s sad tale has touched Sayid’s heart but no, it’s now infected fully by Black Shirt, and he drowns him. Lennon Glasses shows up just long enough to say Dogen was the only thing keeping Evil Locke out and then gets his throat sliced. That’s pretty much when all hell breaks loose.

Black Smoke rushes in and starts killing anybody it finds. Ileyna, Frank, Ben, and Sun show up to rescued Miles and Kate. Kate leaves them to save Claire who, in case you were wondering, is still batshit insane and singing Catch a Falling Star. Illeyna and crew escape via Hurley’s secret door and Kate is left to look over the wreckage Black Smoke has wrought. It’s probably about this time that she feels like perhaps she made the wrong choice. Evil Locke gives a creepy smile and starts to lead his followers (where’d they all come from? Were they Others who left the Temple and became his? Were they hiding in the jungle waiting for his attack?) away. Thus concluding one crazy ass episode!

Some points to add:
- Dogen is somehow attached to the potency of the ash that protects things from Black Shirt. Once he was dead that ash didn’t mean anything and Black Smoke flew into the Temple.

- Will Dogen and Lennon Glasses come back to life since their dead bodies are floating in the spring that was supposed to heal Sayid or is that thing’s magic gone and Sayid only came alive again due to Black Shirt?

- All of the flashsideways up until now have shown how the character they’ve been focused on has changed for the better with no crash. Not this one. Sayid is still the same killer that he was in all timelines. He’s also the first flashsideways we’ve seen for somebody on Black Shirt’s side. Does that mean something? People on Jacob’s side improve in the alternaverse whereas Black Shirt followers remain the same? Something interesting to note? When Jacob visited Sayid last season it was just as Nadia was killed by a car. Everyone else met Jacob in much happier circumstances. Does that mean something?

- Where were Sawyer and Jin?? If they’re seemingly with Evil Locke then why didn’t they show up during the big attack?

- Next week it looks like Ben’s traumatic but brief talk with Sayid pushed him over the edge regarding his guilt on killing Jacob. He’s going to dig up Locke’s body and, hopefully, resurrect him somehow. I’d love to see Evil Locke vs. Good Locke and feel that Locke’s story arch isn’t over quite yet. I want him to find out why he was special!

The Lighthouse

If I had to describe this episode in one word it would be…slow. The good thing is that in slow episodes they’re usually moving pieces into position to blow our minds the following week so prepare for a mind blowing of epic proportions in March!

Alternaverse – Pappa Jack
Given the revelation that Jack has a son in the flashside ways I’ve decided to stop calling it Non-Crash Time. The fact that they didn’t crash is almost insignificant in this alternaverse. This alternaverse is showing what would have happened if Jacob hadn’t drawn them to the Island. I think.

Anyways – so the two main points in this flashback:

1. Jack has a son and is divorced. Who’s the kid’s mother? If you try not to over think it the obvious choices is his ex-wife Sarah whose spine he fixed back in season 1 Maybe an Other? Perhaps Juliet? I just hope it isn’t somebody we haven’t met before.

2. Jack has an appendicitis scar and he can’t remember where he got it. His mom says it was from 7th grade but he doesn’t seem to recall that. Perhaps because the scar is from when Juliet took out his appendix on the Island? Jack, of all the people we’ve seen in the Alternaverse, is the only one who seems to be noticing that things “aren’t right”. First it was the scratch on his neck in the airplane and now it’s a scar he can’t remember getting. As we found out at the end of this episode Jack is important to Jacob’s plans. Perhaps that’s why he’s got this feeling that something isn’t right?

3. Bonus point – Dogen shows up at Daniel’s recital. Yet another Other who shows up in the Alternaverse playing a seemingly mundane role in the non-Island world.

One thing I’m noticing with the Alternaverse is that all our Losties seem to be acknowledging faults that they’ve fought against so much on the Island. Locke realizes his limitations as a paraplegic and gives up his “don’t tell me what I can do” attitude. Jack now no longer seeks the approval of his father and understands that you can’t make your kid afraid of failure. Kate…well she doesn’t seem to have learned anything yet. Maybe she’ll learn how to dance or play the accordion…

The Island – Claire is Tom Cruise Crazy
Claire certainly is channeling Danielle Rousseau’s crazy at full tilt. The similarities make me wonder if Danielle was infected/recruited by Black Shirt. Similar “Others have my baby” mentality too. Although we know the Others did in fact have Danielle’s baby… And the scar on her shoulder? Looks like she got tested for infection at the Temple just like Sayid.

Justin survives one more episode than Mac and then takes an axe to the chest. Jin, fearing batshit crazy Claire, says the Others do in fact have her baby and he can take her to them. Instead of asking about her baby Claire should have asked Jin how he learned English! Last time they saw each other he was only rocking the Korean. Oh yeah, she says she’d also kill Kate if she did in fact raise Aaron. Obviously she’s not remembering the whole leaving Aaron in a tree while she went off god knows where with Christian.

So what’s Claire been up to these last 3 years besides being crazy? Having Island Arts & Crafts Day ever Wednesday making crazy ass babies out of animal bones, hanging out with her dad, Christian Sheppard, and her BFF Evil Locke. Does the fact that she spent time with both of them give credence to my theory that Christian was in fact resurrected by Black Shirt like Sayid? Yes I say because I love being right! One thing about the arrival of Evil Locke at the end – wasn’t he with Sawyer in a cave last episode? Did he black smoke it over real fast or is Sawyer with him?

The Island – Jack Hates Mirrors
Oh poor Hurley. Always getting mixed up in things you don’t understand. Once again Jacob’s ghost shows up and gives him a task. This time it’s take Jack to the Lighthouse, set it to 108 degrees (sum of the numbers), and let it burn. Burn mother f#5ker, burn. Hurley, knowing how much Jack hates doing things he doesn’t understand, tries to go alone but Dogen stops him. Here Jacob tells Hurley to say he’s a Candidate and Dogen lets him go. If my Japanese is correct he says “You’re lucky I have to protect you otherwise I’d cut off your head”. And by Japanese I mean the internet. We knew Locke was special to the Others when he was alive but now it looks like anyone remaining on Jacob’s list of Candidates gets special privileges with the Others. Of course leaving the Temple sans Jack is a big Jacob no-no so Hurley has to lie and get him to come by evoking memories of his dead father and promising he’ll see Jacob.

Outside of the Temple they run into worthless Kate worthlessly filling up her worthless water bottle before she goes on a worthless hunt for Claire. After that they hit up the old Caves and reminisce about the good times back when they only had boar and fruit to eat and Shannon was always complaining about her asthma. They talk about the skeletons and Hurley postulates that maybe they could be one of them who got sent back to dinosaur times. Rose and Bernard maybe? We also find out that Jack came to the Island hoping to “be fixed”. He finally started believing John Locke’s faith in the Island only to go through all the time travel business and now he’s a pissed off man of science again. Finally they reach their destination: the Lighthouse! A structure whose very existence was covered up with a little dues ex machina from Hurley, “guess we never looked for it”.

In the Lighthouse things start to get interesting. We’ve got this big dial thing with 360 names on it, one for each degree. Hurley has to get it to 108 to bring whoever Jacob wants to come to the Island but every degree apparently lets Jacob view that person’s life. First we see the fancy Shinto temple where Jin and Sun got married, then we see the church where Sawyer’s parent’s funeral was held, and then Jack catches a glimpse of his old house. Moving the dial back to 23 gets the house clearly in view at which point Jack does the wise thing – he freaks the f#%k out, demands to see Jacob, and then beats the ever loving sh!t out of the mirrors. Oh Jack. Why couldn’t you have controlled your temper?

Much like the cave wall I had to go to the internet for some screen captures of the wheel and all the names on it. There was some duplication with the cave but there were others there too, including one Kate Austen at 51. Here are the notables:

Danielle Rousseau crossed out at number 20.
Kate Austen at number 51. Austen is not crossed out!
Juliet Burke crossed out at number 58.
Daniel Faraday crossed out at number 101.
Charlotte (? Or her mom?) Lewis crossed out at number 104, which is different from The Substitute where she has number 140.
Shannon Rutherford crossed out at number 32, which is different from The Substitute where she has number 31.
Wallace crossed out at number 108 – The person Jacob wanted Hurley to set the dial to.
Tom Friendly crossed out at number 109.
Ben Linus crossed out at number 117.
Michael Dawson crossed out at number 124.
Claire Littleton crossed out at number 313.
Stuart Radzinsky crossed out at 106.

So Kate is still considered for Candidacy? And an interesting find with Charlotte and Shannon being different numbers from the Cave. Production error or perhaps somebody was copying the numbers in the Cave from what they saw at the Lighthouse? As if Black Shirt was keeping track in the Cave of what Jacob was doing in the Lighthouse…

After Jack goes ballistic Jacob shows back up and reveals that it was all just a ploy to get Jack on the path he needs to go. Somehow by showing him that Jacob has been watching him for a long time he’ll eventually make the right decision (perhaps the decision that makes all this alternaverse stuff happen??). Also there is bad bad thing on the way to the Temple and he needed to get Jack and Hurley away from there. The bad thing would be Claire and Evil Locke I surmise.

Does Jacob intend to actually bring somebody to the Island to help or was it part of his plan to get Jack to freak out? 108’s name is Wallace. Think of the only famous Wallace you know. You were thinking of William Wallace weren’t you? Thanks Braveheart. Anyway you know what nationality William Wallace was? He was a Scot. You know who else is a Scot? Desmond. He’s coming back. In a big way. Brutha.