Ab Aeterno

Tonight’s episode was hands down the best of the season and perhaps the best of the entire series behind only The Constant. Things we theorized about Richard were confirmed along with some new information given regarding him and the epic and seemingly eternal battle between Jacob and the Man in Black.

1867 – Ricardo Has A Really Bad Week

So his wife Isabella has tuberculosis. He runs off to the doctor to get some help unfortunately the doctor was in the middle of a delicious zebra steak and can’t be bothered to go a half day’s ride out to bumfuck Spain. He does have some medicine he’ll part with for some Spanish Yen though. Unfortunately Ricardo doesn’t have enough. A fight ensues and the doctor takes a table to the head. Dead. Ricardo runs and the world’s most useless butler stands and does nothing. It’s a bad day but at least he got the medicine right?

Nope. He gets back to Isabella and she’s already dead. Plus the gardener or somebody definitely not the butler (cause he’s still standing at the doorway with an armful of blankets being useless) called the Spanish cops and Ricardo is arrested for murder. Or murdero as they call it there. Super bad day.

So once in jail Ricardo passes his time teaching himself English from a Bible. On the day he is to be hung a priest comes to give him his last rights. As that a damned soul will get more on the slavery market the priest denies him forgiveness, condemns him to hell, and promptly sells him to some English guy. Pretty much par for the course with the Catholic church – at least he didn’t get molested (Hi-oh! Scathing religious humor!). Could this week get any worse for old Dickie Pern-bags?

THUD. Yes, yes it could. The Black Rock slams into an Egyptian statue while at sea and is shipwrecked in the middle of the jungle (more on that in the theories section). Ricardo wakes up just in time to watch a stabbing spree by one of the English officers. He is stopped just before gutting Ricardo by the arrival of Black Smoke. A couple roars and a shifting of gears later and Black Smoke has killed everyone and is hovering in front of Ricardo. He does his little flashy thing to extract some memories from Ricardo and vanishes. Next time he appears to Ricardo it is in the form of Isabella telling him he’s in hell and he needs to escape the devil. A monster roar cuts off Isabella and Ricardo makes her leave to save herself and he’s left all alone once again.

Just when all hope is lost the Man in Black visits Ricardo, gives him water, and frees him on one condition – he help him kill Jacob. The instructions he gives Ricardo are the exact same Dogen gave Sayid: kill him as soon as you see him and don’t let him say a word. Even gives him the same knife. Tells him Jacob is the devil and killing him is the only way to escape hell.

Ricardo heads to the Temple and proceeds to get an ass beating of epic proportions at the hands of Jacob, looking quite a bit more wrathful then he has in the past. He finds out the Man in Black sent Ricardo to kill him and explains that the Island is not hell but basically a stopper on a jar full of evil. Implying the evil is Black Shirt. Him and Black Shirt are arguing over man – whether they are inherently evil or can make good choices without prompting. At this point Ricardo mentions that since Jacob never steps in before Black Shirt Black Shirt is always getting first dibs on the new castaways. This statement hits Jacob like he’s never heard or thought about it before (odd). He then offers to make Ricardo his voice on the Island to intermediate between people he brings and himself. In exchange he makes it so Ricardo can never die. Think of the 401k potential!

On Island – All Work And No Play Make Richard Go Crazy

The episode starts with our little band of pro-Jacob survivors. After the feel good slow mo hug-a-thon everyone calmed down and tried to figure out what the hell they should be doing. Ileyna (I think I spell her name different every recap…) says her only job was to protect the remaining Candidates. The one who knows what to do next is none other than Richard Alpert. Ricardus. And as we are soon to find out Ricardo. The problem is…Richard’s gone crazy. He tells them they’re all dead and that the Island was hell and then bolts into the jungle. All at once millions of LOST fans yell at their TV “but the writers said they all were definitely NOT dead and the Island was NOT Purgatory!”

Jack and Ileyna chat and then we notice Hurley is talking to a ghost in Spanish. That’ll be important later…right?

We catch up with Richard back at the same place where he buried Isabella’s necklace. He digs it up and yells to the Man in Black that he’s reconsidered and wants to join him. Instead of Evil Locke showing up he gets Hurley. But Hurley has brought an undead friend – Isabella. She’s the Spanish speaker he was talking to (totally called it like 40 minutes before it happened. Ask Meghan). Isabella tells him it was her time to go and they reconcile. Richard isn’t quite as crazy anymore and puts on her necklace. Hurley then tells him one other thing – Isabella wants him to stop Black Shirt from getting off the Island. Bwong – LOST!

Theories!

-What’s up with the arrival of the Black Rock? First off, in last season’s finale, we were led to believe it was just off the shore of the Island during the day when Jacob and Man in Black talked. Guess that was yet another boat that Jacob brought to the Island. Secondly – they sail into the statue. Yes that explains why the statue is now just a foot but really the big question is why was the water so high that they could a) sail into a statue on land and b) get deposited miles inland? Were they riding on a freak tsunami or does the Island have the ability to raise and lower in depth. That certainly would explain why it was completely submerged at the beginning of this season.

-Did anyone see the little blue butterfly that flew across the screen when Ricardo was waking up in the wrecked hull of the Black Rock? I don’t think they put that in there just to look pretty – it means something. I think that where the Man in Black can take the form of the Black Smoke Jacob can take the form of…animals! Think about what that could mean! The horse Kate saw? Jacob. The bird that seemed to say “Hurley”? Jacob. The boar that Sawyer thought was trying to kill him? Jacob. And the biggest one of all – Vincent the dog. JACOB! BWONG! LOST!

-If the Island is the stopper that keeps the evil in the bottle does the fact that the Man in Black smashed the bottle after Jacob gave it to him mean that he means to escape the Island by a means not involving the Island at all? Smashing a bottle lets the wine out without any regard for the stopper…

-Heavy biblical themes this week. Is there any other analogy you can make between Jacob and the Man in Black than God v. Satan? Satan is trying to prove that man is inherently evil and constantly tempts him. God is trying to prove that man is inherently good but refuses to get involved.

-Side note to Jacob being God – if he was God then why couldn’t he grant Richard his first 2 requests: Isabella back or forgiveness? Must not be God…right?

-The white rock Ricardo gave the Man in Black as a gift from Jacob was, of course, the same rock he chucked into the ocean when he and Sawyer were in the cave as an “inside joke”.

-Doctor who refused to help Richard? Wore black. Priest who wouldn’t forgive him? Wore black. Man in Black. Wore black, duh.

-Magnus Hanso, Black Rock owner = distant relative of Alvar Hanso, founder of the Hanso Foundation and the Dharma Initiative.