The Package

I do so enjoy it when one of my theories is proven correct and this week I was vindicated regarding what was in the submarine’s locked door. Hooray for me!

Alternaverse – Feels Like…Pulp Fiction
Jin and Sun are not married in the alternaverse but they are still very into each other. It seems unlike in the original timeline where their relationship was ruined when Jin started working for Sun’s dad instead it seems to have started it. But how did Jin get a job with Paik Industries in the first place then? He got the job initially because he asked to marry Sun. In this universe he is afraid of Paik finding out about the two of them (man does LOST pile on the daddy issues).

Anyways turns out Keamy was hired by Paik to kill Jin for doing the dirty with his daughter. In a giant smack to the face he even made Jin personally pay Keamy to kill him. Nice, I’ll have to remember that move when I have a daughter. Sun tries to access her “secret” Runaway With Jin Fund only to find that her father found it and emptied it. Oh yes, everyone’s favorite indestructible Russian Mikhail shows up too. With both eyes! Lucky him.

So things are looking bad for Jin and then Sayid happens. Blam, blam, blam and Jin is free. Well partially free, Sayid won’t cut his bindings for him he just gives him a razor. Then Mikhail and Sun show up. Gun play. Karate action. And then Mikahil is dead with a bullet through the eye (ouch! The universe really doesn’t want him to have both eyes!) and Sun is shot through her pregnant stomach. Off the rush to the hospital. Who do you think is going to save them? Ethan? Jack? My guess is we’ll see Juliet for the first time in the alternaverse and she saves her. She was a fertility doc after all…

On Island – Widmore’s People Are Surprisingly Accurate
Sayid can’t feel feelings anymore. He’s basically a zombie. A murderous zombie minus the hunger for human brains. Perhaps his body was revived but his soul remained dead? Claire on the other hand is worried about Aaron not knowing her and Evil Locke basically gives her the unspoken clearance to kill Kate as soon as they get off the Island. Sawyer is seeing his plan fall apart before his eyes and Jin is totally “f$&k this, I’m outta here”.

Evil Locke explains to Jin that he needs all 6 Candidates on the plane to leave and he promises that he’ll get Sun back for him. What he really meant was he needs to kill all 6 Candidates and he doesn’t know which Kwon he needs so he’s going to kill both. He leaves to go get Sun and then Widmore’s ninjas attack and abduct Jin.

On Island – Join Me Or You Can’t Speak English!
Back on the beach everyone is eagerly waiting the return of Richard and Hurley. Sun gets fed up of their constant anti-finding Jin policies and storms away to her garden. First she is joined back Jack, who she yells away, and then Evil Locke who promises her Jin. Surprisingly Sun doesn’t fall for his siren song and bolts. Right into a tree. Never look behind you when running through the jungle! She is awoken by a concerned Ben Linus and finds she can no longer speak English. She can understand it just fine though. I haven’t figured out if this means something or if it is just a convenient plot point by the writers. If it does mean something I’m betting her inability to speak English is going to have a dire effect somewhere down the line. In the end Jack gives her a note pad and joins the list of people who’ve promised to find Jin.

Richard shows up and tells them they’ve got a date with the Hydra Island, explosives, and a plane. They’ve got to blow it up so Evil Locke can’t escape. Now one wonders…did his wife really tell Hurley that he had to stop Evil Locke? It seemed odd that all the other things she said we saw her speaking them to Hurley but that last request came directly from Hurley and he didn’t look comfortable saying it. Was it Jacob? Was it Evil Locke?? Could it just be part of his master plan to get everyone on that island so he can kill them all in one quick move?

On Island – Jins On A Plane
So Jin is swept off to Hydra Island by Zoe and crew. He’s stuck in Room 23; the same propaganda room that Karl got stuck in way back in season 3. Just in case you’ve forgotten Jin hits a switch and the pro-Jacob techno beat starts. Fun! Then Zoe shows up and asks him about electromagnetical maps he signed off on back in the 70s when he was with Dharma. Oh yes electromagnetic pockets are still important and somehow the key to whatever Widmore is trying to attempt on the Island. Is it really stopping Evil Locke or is his plan something more self serving? Immortality perhaps?

Also – Widmore throws his cap into the ring and joins Jack and Evil Locke in saying he’ll save Sun. And the what behind the locked sub door? It isn’t a what at all but a who? Gosh who could that be?!?

On Island – Charles and Locke, An Intimate Portrait
Well Evil Locke’s rep doesn’t get any help from Widmore; he basically says he’s a legendary dick. Locke quotes Widmore (to Ben in season 4), “There’s a war coming”. And it’s ON! I think the LOST endgame has finally begun. Hold on to your butts!

On Island – Mike Is Right
So Sayid has been just chillin’ in the ocean until dark. Now that it has fallen he approaches the sub only to see a highly drugged man get dragged out (drugged, dragged, ha!). This man is none other than the guy I predicted when we first saw the locked door – Desmond Hume! Holla! While drugged Desmond still seems to recognize Sayid before he’s dragged away.

Theories!
Honestly do any of you read the recaps or do you just skip to the theories? I might just stop the recaps and only do theories since the recaps take a lot of time…

- Why is Desmond here? Because of his special connection to the Island. There is no doubt that by being at ground zero when the Hatch imploded he was imbued with some sort of special powers. He could see the future. And shifted through time. My guess is he’s going to be able to shift through universes soon. Yes, my next bold Desmond related prediction is that the Desmond we saw on the plane at the beginning of the season was not a alternaverse Desmond but original universe Desmond!

- We knew things were going to be bad if Evil Locke got out but now Widmore said that everyone will die if he gets off. Like life would end or somesuch?

- I think all the alternaverse storylines are going to start merging together real fast now until all characters are linked for the big finale.

- I still don’t buy Widmore’s story. Sure he’s trying to stop Evil Locke but that’s just cause he wants what’s on the Island. The only “good” guys I think are the folks on the beach.

- Alt-Sun had a moment in the hotel where she was looking in the mirror and paused for a second. Did she have a feeling that something wasn’t right like Alt-Jake?

- What if Sun’s inability to speak English On Island is from her Alt personality bleeding over? Alt-Sun didn’t seem to know English…

Ab Aeterno

Tonight’s episode was hands down the best of the season and perhaps the best of the entire series behind only The Constant. Things we theorized about Richard were confirmed along with some new information given regarding him and the epic and seemingly eternal battle between Jacob and the Man in Black.

1867 – Ricardo Has A Really Bad Week

So his wife Isabella has tuberculosis. He runs off to the doctor to get some help unfortunately the doctor was in the middle of a delicious zebra steak and can’t be bothered to go a half day’s ride out to bumfuck Spain. He does have some medicine he’ll part with for some Spanish Yen though. Unfortunately Ricardo doesn’t have enough. A fight ensues and the doctor takes a table to the head. Dead. Ricardo runs and the world’s most useless butler stands and does nothing. It’s a bad day but at least he got the medicine right?

Nope. He gets back to Isabella and she’s already dead. Plus the gardener or somebody definitely not the butler (cause he’s still standing at the doorway with an armful of blankets being useless) called the Spanish cops and Ricardo is arrested for murder. Or murdero as they call it there. Super bad day.

So once in jail Ricardo passes his time teaching himself English from a Bible. On the day he is to be hung a priest comes to give him his last rights. As that a damned soul will get more on the slavery market the priest denies him forgiveness, condemns him to hell, and promptly sells him to some English guy. Pretty much par for the course with the Catholic church – at least he didn’t get molested (Hi-oh! Scathing religious humor!). Could this week get any worse for old Dickie Pern-bags?

THUD. Yes, yes it could. The Black Rock slams into an Egyptian statue while at sea and is shipwrecked in the middle of the jungle (more on that in the theories section). Ricardo wakes up just in time to watch a stabbing spree by one of the English officers. He is stopped just before gutting Ricardo by the arrival of Black Smoke. A couple roars and a shifting of gears later and Black Smoke has killed everyone and is hovering in front of Ricardo. He does his little flashy thing to extract some memories from Ricardo and vanishes. Next time he appears to Ricardo it is in the form of Isabella telling him he’s in hell and he needs to escape the devil. A monster roar cuts off Isabella and Ricardo makes her leave to save herself and he’s left all alone once again.

Just when all hope is lost the Man in Black visits Ricardo, gives him water, and frees him on one condition – he help him kill Jacob. The instructions he gives Ricardo are the exact same Dogen gave Sayid: kill him as soon as you see him and don’t let him say a word. Even gives him the same knife. Tells him Jacob is the devil and killing him is the only way to escape hell.

Ricardo heads to the Temple and proceeds to get an ass beating of epic proportions at the hands of Jacob, looking quite a bit more wrathful then he has in the past. He finds out the Man in Black sent Ricardo to kill him and explains that the Island is not hell but basically a stopper on a jar full of evil. Implying the evil is Black Shirt. Him and Black Shirt are arguing over man – whether they are inherently evil or can make good choices without prompting. At this point Ricardo mentions that since Jacob never steps in before Black Shirt Black Shirt is always getting first dibs on the new castaways. This statement hits Jacob like he’s never heard or thought about it before (odd). He then offers to make Ricardo his voice on the Island to intermediate between people he brings and himself. In exchange he makes it so Ricardo can never die. Think of the 401k potential!

On Island – All Work And No Play Make Richard Go Crazy

The episode starts with our little band of pro-Jacob survivors. After the feel good slow mo hug-a-thon everyone calmed down and tried to figure out what the hell they should be doing. Ileyna (I think I spell her name different every recap…) says her only job was to protect the remaining Candidates. The one who knows what to do next is none other than Richard Alpert. Ricardus. And as we are soon to find out Ricardo. The problem is…Richard’s gone crazy. He tells them they’re all dead and that the Island was hell and then bolts into the jungle. All at once millions of LOST fans yell at their TV “but the writers said they all were definitely NOT dead and the Island was NOT Purgatory!”

Jack and Ileyna chat and then we notice Hurley is talking to a ghost in Spanish. That’ll be important later…right?

We catch up with Richard back at the same place where he buried Isabella’s necklace. He digs it up and yells to the Man in Black that he’s reconsidered and wants to join him. Instead of Evil Locke showing up he gets Hurley. But Hurley has brought an undead friend – Isabella. She’s the Spanish speaker he was talking to (totally called it like 40 minutes before it happened. Ask Meghan). Isabella tells him it was her time to go and they reconcile. Richard isn’t quite as crazy anymore and puts on her necklace. Hurley then tells him one other thing – Isabella wants him to stop Black Shirt from getting off the Island. Bwong – LOST!

Theories!

-What’s up with the arrival of the Black Rock? First off, in last season’s finale, we were led to believe it was just off the shore of the Island during the day when Jacob and Man in Black talked. Guess that was yet another boat that Jacob brought to the Island. Secondly – they sail into the statue. Yes that explains why the statue is now just a foot but really the big question is why was the water so high that they could a) sail into a statue on land and b) get deposited miles inland? Were they riding on a freak tsunami or does the Island have the ability to raise and lower in depth. That certainly would explain why it was completely submerged at the beginning of this season.

-Did anyone see the little blue butterfly that flew across the screen when Ricardo was waking up in the wrecked hull of the Black Rock? I don’t think they put that in there just to look pretty – it means something. I think that where the Man in Black can take the form of the Black Smoke Jacob can take the form of…animals! Think about what that could mean! The horse Kate saw? Jacob. The bird that seemed to say “Hurley”? Jacob. The boar that Sawyer thought was trying to kill him? Jacob. And the biggest one of all – Vincent the dog. JACOB! BWONG! LOST!

-If the Island is the stopper that keeps the evil in the bottle does the fact that the Man in Black smashed the bottle after Jacob gave it to him mean that he means to escape the Island by a means not involving the Island at all? Smashing a bottle lets the wine out without any regard for the stopper…

-Heavy biblical themes this week. Is there any other analogy you can make between Jacob and the Man in Black than God v. Satan? Satan is trying to prove that man is inherently evil and constantly tempts him. God is trying to prove that man is inherently good but refuses to get involved.

-Side note to Jacob being God – if he was God then why couldn’t he grant Richard his first 2 requests: Isabella back or forgiveness? Must not be God…right?

-The white rock Ricardo gave the Man in Black as a gift from Jacob was, of course, the same rock he chucked into the ocean when he and Sawyer were in the cave as an “inside joke”.

-Doctor who refused to help Richard? Wore black. Priest who wouldn’t forgive him? Wore black. Man in Black. Wore black, duh.

-Magnus Hanso, Black Rock owner = distant relative of Alvar Hanso, founder of the Hanso Foundation and the Dharma Initiative.

Recon

I’m not going to lie to you; this episode left me feeling a little unsatisfied. I think I keep waiting for a big crazy reveal and all we are getting are little bite sized reveals. This is the last season! I need a feast of revelations not a snack. Luckily it looks like next week’s episode is going to be a Thanksgiving dinner worth of revealing with a long awaited for Richard Alpert episode!

Alternaverse – Ford & Straume Police Cops!

The alternaverse starts out just like Sawyer’s first flashback episode from way back in season 1 – he’s just banged a chick, is late for a meeting, and accidently spills a case full of cash. Same old Sawyer – but wait! What’s this? She pulls a gun on him? He says he’s a cop? Who are we to believe? One “LaFlauer” later and Ford & Straume have another bust.

It turns out that in this life when Sawyer hit the cross road of cop or criminal he took the cop route. One thing hasn’t changed though: his lust for revenge against Anthony Cooper, the man who ruined his life. But he keeps this secret hidden deep down away from everybody. Instead of a note to Mr. Sawyer he’s got a dossier. Is this Anthony Cooper the same one that Locke and Helen want to invite to their wedding? If he’s such a baddie then why would they want him there?

Like a good partner Miles sets up Sawyer with a new lady to bone. I guess sex on the job doesn’t count, how nice of Miles. Did you hear where the girl was from though? She works with Miles’ dad at the museum. MILES’ DAD! PIERRE CHANG LIVES! Another father/son duo that got off the Island before it sunk. Anyways, who does this mystery lady turn out to be? Charlotte Staples Lewis! From the freighter. Man Daniel sure isn’t going to be happy about what she does with Sawyer. After they do the dirty Charlotte digs a little bit overzealously into Sawyer’s underware drawer and finds the Sawyer files. She definitely looked like she was searching for something and it wasn’t the tshirt she asked for. What was her motive for that? Sawyer finds her and kicks her out. After being touched by an episode of Little House on the Prairie he tries to rekindle that relationship and Charlotte slams the door in his face. Side note – Charlotte was born on the Island so she’s another person who escaped before it sunk.

Miles, showing an almost creepy interest in his partner’s life, uncovers that Sawyer went to Austrailia not Palm Springs. This sends him into a jealous rage and he breaks up the band! No! I totally would have watched Ford & Straume Police Cops when it went into syndication! Sawyer eventually tells Miles what the deal is but their touching moment is ruined by worthless Kate wrecking her car into them. Was she escaping the hospital that Claire gave birth in?

Really all this flashsideways did was show us again how people would have been different if Jacob hadn’t called them to the Island. Sawyer’s seems to be fairly good. So far only Sayid and possibly Kate’s flashsideways seem to have been bad.

The Island – Crazy Is As Crazy Does

So you remember that whole thing about Claire saying she was going to kill Kate for raising Aaron? She meant it. Cat fight city. Dead Inside Sayid doesn’t do anything to stop it instead Evil Locke tosses Claire aside and reprimands her like a little kid then apologizes to Kate. After that he goes off into a weird tangent about how he once had a mother who was crazy and kids with crazy moms don’t grow up well adjusted. So is Evil Locke’s mom some sort of Egyptian deity? Anyways the point is Claire isn’t fit to raise Aaron so Kate should. Of course the whole reason she’s crazy is cause of Evil Locke in the first place…

The Island – The Re Con

So you thought the episode title Recon was just about Sawyer’s recon mission to the Hydra island? No sir! Straight off Damon Lindleoff’s Twitter feed: “Recon. Verd. To con again”. Yup it’s all about Sawyer’s conning. This time he’s conning both Widmore and Evil Locke although I don’t think piloting a submarine is that much easier than piloting a plane. That might be a flaw in his plan.

Two questions from Widmore’s submarine: what is behind the locked door and who’s side is Widmore on? Something super important is behind that door for sure. Like the hydrogen bomb that was introduced last year. Maybe it’s a Desmond Bomb! Boom brutha! Is Widmore really on Jacob’s side or is he a 3rd party just trying to take the Island for himself? Or is he on Evil Locke’s side and Sawyer just had his con pimped by Xzibit? Yo dawg I heard you liked cons so we conned your con so you can con while you con!

One thing is for sure – I can’t wait for next week’s Richard episode. I might have to take Wednesday off from work cause I’ll still be sitting on my couch with my mind blown by the time 9am rolls around.

Dr. Linus

I’m not an actor. I don’t know anything about the craft. Really I have no authorization to say this but – Michael Emerson is the greatest actor ever to act. He’s taken an evil manipulator and turned him into somebody we root for with Ben Linus. I don’t know about the rest of you but I sure was glad that he stayed with the good guys rather than joining Evil Locke. On to the episode review!

Alternaverse – It’s True This Principal Has No Dick

Yes that was none other than anal retentive EPA agent Walter Peck playing the principal at Ben’s school. I’m surprised he made the jump to teaching after Dr. Peter Venkman insulted him in front of the mayor of New York.

The main point of this flashsideways was to show that in the alternaverse Ben sacrifices his ambition for the good of Alex. Unlike on the Island where he sacrificed Alex for his power. Another flashsideways where the subject is righting the flaws they had while on the Island. All of them, except Sayid, have been like this. As I’ve theorized previously these flashes seem to be shaping up to be more like a coda for the series. Like these are what happens to everyone after whatever happens when everything on the Island finishes.

Another interesting point of Ben’s flash is that he’s living with his dad, seems to have a good relationship with him, and they both were previously with the Dharma Initiative on the Island but they left. I think the fact that Sayid shot Lil’Ben really brought the two together and mended the fences of hatred between the two of them. Ben’s dad realized how bad it was to almost loose his son and he stopped drinkin’ and blaming him for the death of his mother and instead started loving him. In a way Sayid was like Dr. Phil bringing people together.

Other notes – looks like Danielle is off Island too. Working 2 jobs to support Alex. Guess being a crazy French woman doesn’t pay like it used to. Artz is really getting some screen time this season! Plus he’s a hacker now? Way to be Leslie.

The Island – I Really Dig Ben

First we learn more of Miles’ power. We already knew that he needed to be near the body and now we find he can’t talk to dead people he can only hear their final thoughts. Good for him when it comes to finding diamonds (that was the first time mention of Nikki and Paulo didn’t send me into a murderous rage!) but bad for Ben and keeping the fact that he killed Jacob a secret.

Ilana, Frank, Sun, Miles, and Ben all return to the beach where it all started and Ilana immediately sets Ben to work digging his own grave. After he’s got a nice hole dug Evil Locke shows up and offers him an out – he’ll free him if he joins up with him at the Hydra. Ben bolts and Ilana follows. We are then treated to a dramatic acting clinic by one Michael Emerson as he explains why he killed Jacob and why he’s sorry about it. He put power before his daughter and he’s been asking himself why Jacob required that sacrifice ever since. After his touching speech Ilana invites him to join them and he does rather than side with Evil Locke for the promised position of Island Protector. Now there could be an ever so slight chance that Ben is still Ben and he’s merely staying with them to gather information which he can then give to Evil Locke but I think Ben has really turned over a new leaf and redeemed himself. He’s going to play a big part in end game battle between Jacob and Evil Locke me thinks.

The Island – Should I Try Another Stick?

Hurley and Jack are headed back to the Temple. Or at least are trying to. First you have Hurley’s stalling and then Richard comes out of nowhere and takes them to the Blackrock instead. Now it’s pretty obvious that Richard came to the Island on the Blackrock but we still don’t know if he was part of the crew or one of the slaves. What we do learn is how he’s not aged the entire time – Jacob’s gift. A gift which while keeping him eternally young also prevents him from killing himself. Does anyone else remember another guy who couldn’t kill himself no matter how hard he tried? Yup, Michael Dawson. He tried to kill himself in a car and then tried to shoot himself but Jacob wouldn’t let him die. Well not until the freighter blew up.

After seeing the carnage at the Temple Richard has given up on Jacob as well and wants Jack to kill him. Jack is either bat shit insane now or he’s finally started to have a little faith in Jacob cause he sits right down with Richard and lets the dynamite fuse burn all the way down. Just as Jacob wanted though he has realized that he’s important. He doesn’t know why yet but he believes enough that he won’t let a silly thing like lit dynamite stop him from having a nice conversation with a man wearing guyliner. The dynamite doesn’t blow and it looks like Richard might have gotten his faith back as well. They all head back to the beach and we have a touching slow mo reunion scene with high fives and butt slaps all around. Except for Ben. They’ll accept you in time Ben. Maybe if you shared your Bagel Bites with them?

And what’s this at the end? A submarine? And who’s in it? Why Charles Widmore of course! Is he the one Jacob wanted back on the Island or is he there on his own accord? I’m still holding out that it is Desmond Jacob wants back not Widmore.

Sundown

Did you just feel that? That was LOST rearing back and cold cocking you right in your stupid face with a fistful of awesome!

Alternaverse – Martin Keamy, Egg Gourmand

So things pick up in the Alternaverse with Sayid arriving at Nadia’s doorstep and they lovingly embrace. Fantastic, we think, Sayid finally got the woman he’s longed for ever since season 1. Not so fast LOST says; she’s married to his brother. Thanks to the terrible things he did as an Iraqi torturer Sayid did feel worthy enough of Nadia and so he pushed her into the arms of his worthless brother. Still there is the underlying love there which really makes for an uncomfortable family dining experience. Mommy why does Uncle Sayid have this naked picture of you?

As he’s done all series long Sayid is still trying to prove that he isn’t the man he once was. And once again a situation presents itself to show that he really hasn’t changed at all. His brother is paying “interest” to a loan shark and needs Sayid to take care of him. Sayid says no and Omar gets stabbed in the chest and sent to the hospital (Hi Jack!). Now Sayid is ready for vengeance but Nadia stays his hand and gets him to watch over the children. Tragedy averted right? Wrong – the loan shark sends his boys to pick up Sayid. At this point it’s like kicking a sleeping grizzly bear until it wakes up and mauls you. Thinks aren’t going to turn out well for these guys.

Turns out the loan shark is our good friend Martin Keamy - mercenary, Alex killer, and cooker of a mean omelet. He isn’t half way through with his eggs before Sayid has killed both his goons and put a bullet in his chest. Try as you might Sayid you cannot fight the darkness inside you. Gosh I wonder if this will parallel with what happens on the Island…

Before Sayid flees the scene of the crime he finds Jin locked up in a meat freezer. Looks like his watch delivery didn’t go well. Surely Martin Keamy wasn’t the guy Sun’s dad was trying to bribe? He seems too low on the totem pole to get Mr. Piak’s attention. Who’s above him? Widmore perhaps?

The Island – Sayid Can’t Fight That Feelin’

Back on the Island Sayid is a little perturbed by Jack’s revelation that the Others want him dead so he goes and finds Dogen to get some answers. Things don’t stay civil long and soon the boys are engaged in some mighty fisticuffs. Eventually Dogen’s bearded kung fu gets the best of Sayid’s greasy hair karate and he has him in a position to kill him. Just then Dogen’s beloved baseball falls to the ground and brings him a level head. He exiles Sayid rather than killing him.

Outside the Temple Evil Locke and Claire have reached the edge of the Temple grounds. Evil Locke still seems to be unable to cross the ash line and Claire doesn’t seem to be able to clear it away and let him pass. Interesting. Evil Locke needs someone to give the Others a message and he picks Claire. Why not Sawyer she asks? Where the hell is Sawyer I ask? We haven’t seen him since the freaky name cave! And now that I think about it – where’s Jin? Last episode he was going to take Claire to the Temple to “get her baby” now he’s gone too!

Claire enters the Temple and gives them Evil Locke’s message which basically is just “he has a message but he wants to deliver it to Dogen outside the Temple”. A message of a message really. Dogen, being a wise samurai, sends Sayid instead. Not before giving him a knife and telling him to kill that Evil Locke mother f#@ker dead as soon as he sees him. No chatting about the weather. No asking about his kids. Dead before he even speaks. Sayid heads out leaving Miles and a recently returned Kate standing around doing nothing. “Where’s Sheppard and Reyes” Lennon Glasses asks but nobody answers cause nobody really gives a damn about him unless he’s translating Japanese.

Sayid meets up with Evil Locke. “What’s up Sayid” says Evil Locke. “This knife in your heart is what is in fact up good sir” says Sayid and he stabs him. “Dude. That was totally harsh, you put a hole my favorite Hanes brand t-shirt! How am I going to mack on honeys now?” replies Evil Locke. Evil Locke then promises Sayid anything he wants if he delivers his message back to the Temple (Man, there are a lot of messages going in and out of there!). Sayid wants Nadia but she’s dead. “It aint no thang but a chicken wang” Evil Locke says to that. I have no idea why today I’ve decided to make Evil Locke talk in jive, just go with it.

At this point I’m getting a super “I am the devil” vibe from Black Shirt. The way he’s manipulating people is classic Lucifer. He’s promising people anything they want free and easy just follow him whereas Jacob works in mysterious ways yet provides people what they want but not without sacrifice, very God-like there. Some might still be believing the whole Black Shirt “I’m really the good guy here” (perhaps thinking it’s one of LOST’s famous twists) but I’m going to have to be on Team Jacob with this one.

So Sayid returns with the message telling everyone that they have till sundown to get the fug out or Black Shirt will kill them. People start to bail once they find out they don’t have to stay including former Oceanic stewardess Cindy. Sayid once again tracks down Dogen and confronts him about the whole sending him to Evil Locke to die thing. Dogen shares a touching tale about him killing his son drunk driving, explaining his attachment to the baseball, and how Jacob gave his son back his life but forbade him from ever seeing him again (once again the give you what you want but requiring a sacrifice). It looks for a moment that Dogen’s sad tale has touched Sayid’s heart but no, it’s now infected fully by Black Shirt, and he drowns him. Lennon Glasses shows up just long enough to say Dogen was the only thing keeping Evil Locke out and then gets his throat sliced. That’s pretty much when all hell breaks loose.

Black Smoke rushes in and starts killing anybody it finds. Ileyna, Frank, Ben, and Sun show up to rescued Miles and Kate. Kate leaves them to save Claire who, in case you were wondering, is still batshit insane and singing Catch a Falling Star. Illeyna and crew escape via Hurley’s secret door and Kate is left to look over the wreckage Black Smoke has wrought. It’s probably about this time that she feels like perhaps she made the wrong choice. Evil Locke gives a creepy smile and starts to lead his followers (where’d they all come from? Were they Others who left the Temple and became his? Were they hiding in the jungle waiting for his attack?) away. Thus concluding one crazy ass episode!

Some points to add:
- Dogen is somehow attached to the potency of the ash that protects things from Black Shirt. Once he was dead that ash didn’t mean anything and Black Smoke flew into the Temple.

- Will Dogen and Lennon Glasses come back to life since their dead bodies are floating in the spring that was supposed to heal Sayid or is that thing’s magic gone and Sayid only came alive again due to Black Shirt?

- All of the flashsideways up until now have shown how the character they’ve been focused on has changed for the better with no crash. Not this one. Sayid is still the same killer that he was in all timelines. He’s also the first flashsideways we’ve seen for somebody on Black Shirt’s side. Does that mean something? People on Jacob’s side improve in the alternaverse whereas Black Shirt followers remain the same? Something interesting to note? When Jacob visited Sayid last season it was just as Nadia was killed by a car. Everyone else met Jacob in much happier circumstances. Does that mean something?

- Where were Sawyer and Jin?? If they’re seemingly with Evil Locke then why didn’t they show up during the big attack?

- Next week it looks like Ben’s traumatic but brief talk with Sayid pushed him over the edge regarding his guilt on killing Jacob. He’s going to dig up Locke’s body and, hopefully, resurrect him somehow. I’d love to see Evil Locke vs. Good Locke and feel that Locke’s story arch isn’t over quite yet. I want him to find out why he was special!